How to not ruin the United States if you move here

[Nobar King]

This is going to be a list thread for foreigners where you add ways to not ruin the U.S.A. after immigration.

1. Leave your religion at home.
2. Follow American laws
3. Stop littering
4. Kids play baseball, not soccer
5. Learn English, already!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: New thread: How to not ruin the United States if you move her

6. Find a job right away! Don't come here and expect a free welfare check. But, don't get a good job either, because you'll be stealing them away from Americans.

7. Name your kids good ol' American names like John, Joseph, or James. No more Pedros, Wangs, or Muhammads.

8. You will salute the American flag and burn all flags belonging to your native country.

9. If you're going to move here, please stay in your own country's ghetto in a large urban city, so you won't be our neighbors and we'll know where you are and how to avoid you.

10. Dress in American fashion. Don't wear sombreros or burkas. Wear American-flag T-shirts, shorts, and fanny packs. Wal-Mart is an excellent place for clothes.

[Levi Jones]

Re: New thread: How to not ruin the United States if you move her

11. No more bloody Jesus candles.
12. No more plastic nativity scenes, except during Christmas.
13. No pink flamingos in the yard. Maybe I could tell if pink flamingos had moved into the neighborhood if they had plastic Mexicans in the lawn.
14. Quit throwing such fabulous parties that I am not invited to. It makes me want to call the cops.
15. No, I will not buy your stinking tamales. If you wanted my business, you would have made hamburgers.

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: New thread: How to not ruin the United States if you move her

6. Find a job right away! Don't come here and expect a free welfare check. But, don't get a good job either, because you'll be stealing them away from Americans.

7. Name your kids good ol' American names like John, Joseph, or James. No more Pedros, Wangs, or Muhammads.

8. You will salute the American flag and burn all flags belonging to your native country.

9. If you're going to move here, please stay in your own country's ghetto in a large urban city, so you won't be our neighbors and we'll know where you are and how to avoid you.

10. Dress in American fashion. Don't wear sombreros or burkas. Wear American-flag T-shirts, shorts, and fanny packs. Wal-Mart is an excellent place for clothes.

I would like to elaborate on #7 if I may. No new fangled zulu negro names like Epyqfni = pronounced "phonetically" as "Mike". What the heck is up with that! there is no M there at all!

[Meek and Humble]

Re: New thread: How to not ruin the United States if you move her

16. Do not get married to any REAL Americans.

17. Do not make smelly food of your native country. Eat only what we eat.

18. Let your children learn their place early in life so they don't steal all of our scholarships and honor roll spots.

19. Don't be a burden on us tax payers - get your children in the work force as soon as possible.

20. Be prepard to work for less money than we do, and be damn happy about it!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: New thread: How to not ruin the United States if you move her

Oh, and when you build churches to house your false religions, make the roofs look like chruches, not mushrooms.

[James Dewitt]

Re: New thread: How to not ruin the United States if you move her

Do not come to a retailer and expect me to learn your language, my job is to take your money and not translate why. And no I am not running a flea market where you can pay for a washer and dryer with 2 camels and a danm goat.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here

Do not have ethnic-heritage festivals, and especially do not expect us to shut down major streets in Washington or New York so that you can do so. If you're so proud of your heritage, celebrate it in your own country, and shut the streets of your own major cities (if your country has any).

Do not open restaurants featuring your country's cooking. If you absolutely must do so, at least adapt it to fit red-state American palates, even if that means altering it beyond recognition. Only other foreigners and blue-state hipsters want to eat your country's authentic food, and the hipsters are just faking it to impress other hipsters.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here

Leran what soap and toilet paper are for (keep wiping until the paper is clean).

Use deoderant and mouthwash regularly.

Sty off our beaches and out of our parks. Those are for us to use.

[Casanova]

Re: Foreigners: How to not ruin the United States if you move her



Yerr you mexican scum you better learn are language!

[Casanova]

Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here

Just dont move to America, Seems as if even your own country has more freedom!

[Bob4God]

Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here

Just dont move to America, Seems as if even your own country has more freedom!

This is actually good advice. All of the people worthy of living in America moved here ages ago and liberated it from the hands of savage Indian squatters.

It might be nice if a lot of you who have moved here already went back home to your native country.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here

Please don't relentlessly "undress" us with your eyes!
.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here

If you happen to hear an ethnic slur yelled at you behind your back, you'd best just keep walking.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: How to not ruin the United States if you move here

5.Learn English, already!

This will not help you as they do not use English in the usa, they don't even use the same alphabet for example the last letter of the English alphabet is pronounced ZED not Zee.