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Re: Glenn Beck going blind. God's Will or Obama Medical Care Fias
I just want to say that Glenn's deteriorating vision has absolutely nothing to do with any of the food products that my company sells. Our melamine-flavored milk, mercury-enhanced tuna and e-coli fortified salads have all been certified safe by the bought-and-paid-for FDA. Indeed, with an average shelf-life of 14 years, our food products need no refrigeration to stay as fresh as they day they were manufactured.
FDA approved
Similarly, the sewage sludge in our now privatized drinking water supplies was tested by the EPA, and though all EPA workers have since switched to bottled water for their personal use, they praised Uranus Corporation for finding an innovative way to dispose of toxic waste. Indeed, it was discovered that water from Uranus supplies many valuable minerals like iron, calcium, lead and plutonium that your body needs.
Our privatized water contains no bacteria - or any other living matter
In short, America's epidemics of cancer, autism, autoimmune diseases and birth defects has absolutely nothing to do with us. Glenn's blindness is probably being caused by squinting at the teleprompter all day. As for all those reported cases of blindness in Bhopal, India (where our old subsidiary Union Carbide had a factory until a minor gas leak in 1984), we know that in fact those people are blind because they fail to wear sunglasses.
Blind boy at Bhopal, India: Also not our fault
I just want to say that Glenn's deteriorating vision has absolutely nothing to do with any of the food products that my company sells. Our melamine-flavored milk, mercury-enhanced tuna and e-coli fortified salads have all been certified safe by the bought-and-paid-for FDA. Indeed, with an average shelf-life of 14 years, our food products need no refrigeration to stay as fresh as they day they were manufactured.
FDA approved
Similarly, the sewage sludge in our now privatized drinking water supplies was tested by the EPA, and though all EPA workers have since switched to bottled water for their personal use, they praised Uranus Corporation for finding an innovative way to dispose of toxic waste. Indeed, it was discovered that water from Uranus supplies many valuable minerals like iron, calcium, lead and plutonium that your body needs.
Our privatized water contains no bacteria - or any other living matter
In short, America's epidemics of cancer, autism, autoimmune diseases and birth defects has absolutely nothing to do with us. Glenn's blindness is probably being caused by squinting at the teleprompter all day. As for all those reported cases of blindness in Bhopal, India (where our old subsidiary Union Carbide had a factory until a minor gas leak in 1984), we know that in fact those people are blind because they fail to wear sunglasses.
Blind boy at Bhopal, India: Also not our fault
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