Reasons for the Economic Crisis

[Hershel Rutherford]

Anybody would recognize this as a twenty-dollar bill, but only True Christians™ recognize this as an attempt by liberals to steer us away from Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Benjamin Franklin is known to have been a God-mocking, atheist, homosexual Muslim--just take a look at a quote from him.

"I have found Christian dogma unintelligible. Early in life I absented myself from Christian assemblies."

Need I say more? Clearly, we only have two options:

• terminate use of the twenty-dollar banknote, which is reasonable because twenty-dollar bills have very little use nowadays (KJV bibles can be bought for much less than $20).
• replace the picture of Benjamin Franklin with something more Godly.

I vote for choice number two, and I've come up with some possible replacements for our current twenty-dollar bill.

Option 1:



This option features a great painting of Jesus Christ, looking upward and facing to his left.

Pros:

• Jesus Christ

Cons: None.

Option Two:




For the second option I went with Jesus Christ again, but this time with an angrier expression. It's almost as if he's looking into your eyes, saying, "If you spend this money on anything ungodly then you will forever burn in Hell."

Pros:

• Jesus Christ

Cons: None.

Option Three:




This option features Jesus as well. In fact, it's the same picture as option two, but I've zoomed in on his face. It provokes the same feelings as the last one, but to a more extreme degree.

Pros:

• Jesus Christ

Cons: None.

Option Four:



I like this one because it displays Jesus on the cross, once again instilling guilt and fear within anybody that tries to spend this money on porn, or "Mike and Ike" (homosexual) candy.

Pros:

• Jesus Christ

Cons: None.

Option Five:



This one is more traditional, and it features Jesus Christ as well. I don't like this one because his skin looks too brown.

Pros:

• Jesus Christ

Cons:

• It's not immediately obvious that he's white.

Option Six:



This one depicts Jesus Christ staring straight into your eyes; however, it doesn't instill much guilt/fear because he doesn't look very stern. It also suffers from the same problem as the fifth option.

Pros:

• Jesus Christ

Cons:

• Not angry enough
• Black

-------------------------------------------

My favorite is probably option three, but I'm anxious to see what you guys think.

[Joshua Godwins]

Re: Reasons for the Economic Crisis

There are a couple of problems with this. The portrait on the $20.00 bill is of Andrew Jackson, not Ben Franklin. Jackson may be in hell for marrying a woman who was still married to her first husband.

Second, you have a sin on your hands. US Law specifically prohibits any type of reproduction of our currency. This is called counterfeiting! Jesus specifically commands us to obey civil law.

I suggest fervent prayer with a specific request for forgiveness!

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Reasons for the Economic Crisis

• terminate use of the twenty-dollar banknote, which is reasonable because twenty-dollar bills have very little use nowadays (KJV bibles can be bought for much less than $20).
• replace the picture of Benjamin Franklin with something more Godly.
• While Honoring our Lord in any way is to be commended your rational is a bit confusing.
  You say a $20 bill is almost useless so THAT is the bill you wish to use to honor him?
• Where do you see Franklin on a $20? I see Andrew Jackson. The largest group of antagonists to the present $20 bill is american injuns because they dislike Jackson and his whole America for White Americans thing he had going on.Are you one of those people or maybe just a secret bleeding heart lie beral perhaps?
  

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Reasons for the Economic Crisis

I agree it is high time we got that filthy deist Ben Franklin off the $20 bill. Atheist scum bags like Franklin and Thomas Jefferson have no place in American history, much less on our money. I say replace Ben Franklin with Ronald Regan.

[Hershel Rutherford]

Re: Reasons for the Economic Crisis

Oh dear, it appears I have made a grave error. Please forgive me. Unfortunately I do not know of any way to correct my post. This thread shall serve as a reminder that we are all prone to error and inferior to Jesus Christ.

[CyberYahweh]

Re: Reasons for the Economic Crisis

I'm disappointed that John Calvin never found his way onto our currency. Call me fringe, but I'd say he deserves it more than anyone who's likeness currently stains our money.

Not sure where I stand with putting the face of my Lord and Savior into my wallet, which sits pressed against my butt; packed full of credit cards and dollar bills featuring lesser caricatures. Seems a bit irreverent, if you'd ask me. I do agree, though, that our currency needs a major makeover - and NOT in the fancy pansy pinko, effeminate, Euro/Canada way.

[Nobar King]

Re: Reasons for the Economic Crisis

All of this redesigning of money just makes more jobs for more artists. I say we just leave it like it is or scrap the thing altogether.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Reasons for the Economic Crisis

All of this redesigning of money just makes more jobs for more artists. I say we just leave it like it is or scrap the thing altogether.

Are you suggesting returning to the silver sheckel?That way you know what your money is worth. The price of goods might change a bit more often but since bar code scanning that is no extra work for the retailers.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Reasons for the Economic Crisis

Oh dear, it appears I have made a grave error. Please forgive me. Unfortunately I do not know of any way to correct my post. This thread shall serve as a reminder that we are all prone to error and inferior to Jesus Christ.

Not to worry--the picture on our $20.00 is definitely one of a homer and needs to be replaced with someone else: Jesus

[TC Patriot]

Re: Reasons for the Economic Crisis

I agree it is high time we got that filthy deist Ben Franklin off the $20 bill. Atheist scum bags like Franklin and Thomas Jefferson have no place in American history, much less on our money. I say replace Ben Franklin with Ronald Regan.

Reagan had some Lib leanings. He reaches across the aisle to that papist drunken papist Tip O'Neil to save Socialist Security. He also paled around with that commie Gorbachev.

The faces that need to appear on our currency are George W Bush, Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Sister Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, Pastor Deacon Fred, and Jerry Falwell and Glenn Beck if he stops that Mormon stuff.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Reasons for the Economic Crisis

I think it's high time that the the government started selling advertising space on all US dollar bills. We proposed this years ago, but those liberal elitist Democrats raised some kind of objection. However, now that the country is broke and the government is completely in our pocket, I believe that the time is ripe to make this important change.

Our Art Department is all ready to go. Here are a few samples:

[landoverlover]

Re: Reasons for the Economic Crisis

One benefit of putting Jesus Christ on money is how it will make the joos absolutely insane. It's like giving poisoned heroin to a junkie or showing a cross to a vampire. It might just affect their international banking conspiracies!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Reasons for the Economic Crisis

Reagan had some Lib leanings. He reaches across the aisle to that papist drunken papist Tip O'Neil to save Socialist Security. He also paled around with that commie Gorbachev.

The faces that need to appear on our currency are George W Bush, Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Sister Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, Pastor Deacon Fred, and Jerry Falwell and Glenn Beck if he stops that Mormon stuff.

I'm not sure about this. Yes, Reagan may have made some mistakes and accidentally fathered a queer, and Palin and Bachmann may be consistently righteous, but the fact still remains that they're women. I just don't trust anyone carrying the curse of Eve to be able to perform a task as important as being on money without getting it disasterously wrong.

[HTannor]

Re: Reasons for the Economic Crisis

Brothers, Brothers, please...............


Let me interject some sanity into this discussion.

Many of the founding fathers had their faults, but consider if you will, what would have happened if we let whatever elected official was in office at the time besmirch our paper money.

Roosevelt would have stuck his ugly wife's mug on all the denominations in circulation.

Kennedy would have had a succession of popes popping up all over the place.

Carter would have had George Washington Carver all over because of what that darkie did for the peanut business.

Clinton would have had any number of harlots on the bills.

I firmly believe we should be quite conservative when it comes to replacing faces on our currency, with one notable exception:

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Reasons for the Economic Crisis

I realize that economics is a complex topic, and I could easily write a book about it (or rather, I'd have one ghostwritten by a sub-minimum wage Filipino and I'd take credit for it). Because the economic collapse is beyond the ability of most people to comprehend, we've hired people like Rush Limbaugh to explain it in terms that the public can understand.

Thanks to Brother Rush, conservative voters realize that Big Government destroyed the economy. The way they did this: government overtaxed corporations and unfortunate rich people like myself. And what did the liberals do with that money the government stole from us? Why, they gave most of it to gays and global warming "scientists" (Scientologists!) who are trying to force us into a New World Order! And to make it worse, they burdened big business with ridiculous environmental regulations - do you realize that we can no longer dump toxic waste into rivers? Outrageous! No wonder the economy collapsed.

And it continues to get worse. Now with Obama in the White House, the USA is sadly just another communist country like Europe. The brutally repressive minimum wage is sucking corporate profits dry. My company has only been able to survive because we moved all our factory production facilities to a true capitalist country (China).


Wang Badan 王八蛋, CEO of my company's
Chinese prison-factories subsidiary

Of course, retail outlets (like fast food restaurants and Wal-Mart) can't be moved to China. Thus, we are at the mercy of the outrageous minimum wage laws. If it wasn't for illegal aliens, CEOs in The Hamptons would have to spend a fortune for gardeners, cooks and maids.

So, to put it in a nutshell, the reason for the economic crisis is liberals! While big corporations like mine worked hard to manufacture fraudulent financial instruments and sell them to unsuspecting pension funds, the liberals were working overtime to destroy our great nation with their labor unions and gay marriage. Thankfully, our corporate lobbyists were able to keep the bailouts flowing long enough for us to transfer our hard-earned bonuses to the Cayman Islands before anyone caught on.


Corporate lobbyist, befriending America's workers

As you all no doubt know, last weekend was Labor Day. This is a communist holiday celebrated by liberals around the world. Even worse, in America it's a PAID legal holiday. That's right, employers are legally forced to pay a day's salary to their ever-shrinking pool of full-time employees (thank the Lord for part-time employees who get no paid holidays) despite the fact that they don't have to work!

This is outrageous, and is just another example of how the liberals are destroying America. That's why I'm proposing that next Monday be declared Corporate Day. If labor gets a free day, then corporations are entitled to the same. In honor of Corporate Day, all workers should work for free. By doing so, they'll help to redress the imbalance, which now favors labor.


Corporate Day logo

I probably needn't remind all of you that an election is coming up this November. Liberals will no doubt try to persuade you to vote for candidates who want to stop corporate bailouts, raise taxes for the rich, prosecute corporate "crooks," etc. In other words, typical communist hype. Don't fall for it! We all know that the most important issues facing America today has to do with abortion, gay marriage, the evolution hoax, and pedophiles (ie liberals) lurking behind every tree and bush.