It's time to smoke those Prius fags to Hell!

[Cranky Old Man]

As everyone knows, I am a proud Hummer owner. The car Jesus would own.

Unfortunately the hippies are taking over America with their gay Prius "cars".

I am glad there is now a new trend, Rollin' Coal, which gives those vegan America hating Prius owners a nice preview of Hell!

Revelation 14:11 "And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, ..."

[Jerome Jefferson III]

Re: It's time to smoke those Prius fags to Hell!

When I was young it was a black man's dream to own a Cadillac.

My daddy pulled up to our church in his '69 Chevy and the ladies swooned.

Nowadays people drive cars that have absolutely no style, but that just exist to fight things which don't exist: pollution, global warming, extinction, etc.

Makes you know that End Times is coming.

[John Creeser]

Re: It's time to smoke those Prius fags to Hell!

Hey!! That's my Blue and Gray truck at the 23 second mark.

I was new at it then, didn't really get the smoke out I wanted. Also, sorry for killing your entire crop of corn.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: It's time to smoke those Prius fags to Hell!

Also, sorry for killing your entire crop of corn.

Those weren't mine. I don't do vegetables. Vegetables are for girls and gays. Those were my neighbor Mrs. Johnson's corn plants. Her angry face made my day!

I switched to crushed coal for heating my house now. I cannot even see Mrs. Johnson now. Unfortunately I can still hear her.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: It's time to smoke those Prius fags to Hell!

By the way Cranky, I wanted to thank you again for taking your time out of your busy day to bring your truck by to our 4-H meeting last week. My boys still talk about the many modifications you've made to your trucks, and the excitement it's inspired in them is wonderful to see. It gives quite the warm feeling to see the young man take his pick-up and learn to modify it himself to roll coal and show those liberal communists who want to turn Iowa into another California just who's boss.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: It's time to smoke those Prius fags to Hell!

I believe that some powerful force (IMO-God) has been quietly removing the worst of the Prius people and this has been going on for some time. I noticed a couple of months that all the Prius cars with the Obama bumper stickers seem to have disappeared.

Now, we know that cars can't disappear, yet I have not seen one in a long time. They are not parked and hidden on side streets, because I have been on the lookout and have not seen a single one.

The only possible explanation I can see is that they must have been vaporized. Thus, the probability of some outside force, as man made vaporizings are difficult to conceal and very loud. The Devil would never harm those wretches, so I conclude that the Lord God has decided to wipe them out.

Shout Glory!

[John Creeser]

Re: It's time to smoke those Prius fags to Hell!

Here is some video I took with the boys yesterday. The only thing thing you can't see is the giant "JESUS SAVES!!" sign on top of the roof. I thought I would proselytize a little different, I think I got the point across to those filthy sinners.

[Jedediah]

Re: It's time to smoke those Prius fags to Hell!

Do they sell kits for this? I'd like to modify my Buick to roll some confederate coal on cyclists and libs.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: It's time to smoke those Prius fags to Hell!

Do they sell kits for this? I'd like to modify my Buick to roll some confederate coal on cyclists and libs.

If you want smoke, just turn up your injection pump. It's simple to do. There are 2 screws to turn, one on the inside and one on the outside. Inside one turn in, about 1 1/2 flats and the outside one turn out. I turned mine the whole way out. This will give you a serious amount of smoke.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: It's time to smoke those Prius fags to Hell!

It's great to see Americans demonstrating their patriotism by smoking out liberal leftist fags driving Prius's or riding bicycles. I'd love to be able to do the same over here in Chinaland, but sadly my limousine isn't diesel powered, so I guess that's not an option.

Of course, we do get a lot of smoke over here, much of it from my company's factories. But personally, I think it gives the Chink cities a kind of cool, subdued lighting effect that's really beautiful. Plus, it's a sign of prosperity.


Shanghai noon: beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Sometimes the locals complain about the smoke, but then they just wear those little surgical masks, which again I find attractive in its own subtle way.


Chink fashion

We did have a few complaints from the Shanghai municipal government last year when it was noticed that lung cancer rates increased by 350% just six months after my company opened a new petrochemical plant, but I'm sure that was just a coincidence. Nevertheless, as a caring sharing company, the Uranus Corporation paid for totally unbiased medical research to see if the smoke could possibly be harming the health of local residents.

After an 8-day study that cost literally hundreds of dollars, I'm happy to report that our highly scientific team found no ill effects among the population. Indeed, what they discovered is that Chinks are physically equipped to breath dirtier air than Americans. The reason has to do with Chink anatomy. Compare the following photos:


Chink chicks at the beach


American Weight Watchers show off after losing 100 pounds

As you can see, the average American is at least five times the weight of a typical Chink. Thus, they breathe five times as much air. Therefore, a Chink can breathe air that's five times as dirty as in Los Angeles with no ill effect.

Despite our study, some government officials expressed skepticism, and worried that their own health might be in jeopardy from the filthy air. However, we carefully considered this problem, and offered a solution. To understand, have a look at this map of air pollution in China:


Smoke means jobs!

As you can see, most of eastern China is heavily polluted - not surprising since it's densely populated and most of the factories are there. So the obvious solution: government officials should move to Tibet. By doing this, they can enjoy great mountain views, clean air, and occasional strafing of monks with machine gun fire (more fun than watching a dog fight!). Plus, them Tibetan babes are kind of cute.


Tibetan hottie

Looks like a win-win to me!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: It's time to smoke those Prius fags to Hell!

The latest addition to my car makes the meat extra smokey!

[Free Market Fred]

Re: It's time to smoke those Prius fags to Hell!

Thanks Brother Cranky for providing this useful information! I'm sure it will be of interest to many Americans now that the majority have lost their homes (due to my company's awesome subprime mortgages) and - as a result - are living in their cars. However, I hasten to add that it is absolutely not my company's fault that these deadbeats couldn't pay their mortgages - the 800% interest rate that kicks in after two years of paying 8% was clearly stated in all our subprime mortgage contracts on the bottom of page 37, and anyone with a magnifying glass could have seen it.

Anyway, living in a car or truck has many advantages. No mortgage to pay, no lawn to cut, plus it's easy to move around the country in search of excellent seasonal jobs like picking tomatoes, cleaning up beaches after oil spills, looting homes after a hurricane, etc.



Negroes enjoying seasonal jobs in New Orleans


Even white folks can get in on the fun!


Temporary workers enjoying a day at the beach


Added bonus - free seafood!

But apologies if I'm getting a little off-topic. We were talking about car and truck cooking. If you visit any homeless camps in the city parks or dump, you can find lots of folks gathered around the engine compartment enjoying a "car-b-eque." Aside from the excellent cuisine, it's a great way to keep warm in the winter!





Indeed, cooking dinner on a car's exhaust manifold or muffler has become so popular that somebody even wrote a recipe book.



And despite liberals whining about recent cutbacks in food stamp benefits, no one in America needs to go hungry!


Family preparing Chinese food on their car engine

And like Brother Cranky pointed out, "rollin' coal" gives every dish that great smokey flavor, so loved by trailer trash (who can no longer afford their trailer). Enjoy!