2017 Witch Hunt!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: 2017 Witch Hunt!

we have added SJWs to the list of acceptable prey

I am very glad to hear that. Today a postwoman, I am not kidding here, arrived with a package. Since a woman delivering packages can clearly not be a Christian (Ephesians 5:22-24), I am certain she was either a witch or worse, a feminist. I am glad we can shoot those as well now as the Godly Major Johny Joe Hold has implemented Biblical Law in Freehold during the annual Witch Hunt!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: 2017 Witch Hunt!

Woot!!!
Gentlemen and pastors, get thee ready for another great year of WITCH HUNTING!Now get out there and get us some witches!
Be GODLY, be good and most importantly HAVE FUN!
Post your results here!

This is one of the annual highlights here at Landover Baptist. Thank you, Sister Etheldreda, for provided this announcement.

What I like about the timing of the annual WITCH HUNT is it comes when the school year is just getting underway. What better teaching moment can there be than finding witches and getting rid of them.

[GaleWhoring the Boring (On Moderation)]

Re: 2017 Witch Hunt!

Oooh, speaking of witches, I was wondering if I should go as one for Halloween. I was thinking of going as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. My spirit guardian.

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[Mary Etheldreda]

Woot!!!


Gentlemen and pastors, get thee ready for another great year of WITCH HUNTING!


For the sake of the new folks, here are the rules:

1. To prove a kill you must submit genitals, teeth, ears or fingers or toes to the Pastors if you cannot bring in the entire body.


2. Severely maiming will get you points, but it's not as good as a kill.


3. Because of ISIS and unwanted immigration we are now allowing Terrorist Hunting as well. Same rules apply.


4. For a trial time, we have added SJWs to the list of acceptable prey. Extra points if her "problem glasses" are in one piece!

You will need a permit, they are now available in the Church Lobby. The cost is $69.99. If you are not able to afford the cost of a Witch Hunting Permit, please fill out a "Hardship" Form available from a Pastor and a permit will be provided for you free of charge.


Winners will receive the coveted 2017 Witch Hunt Award, dinner for 4 at The Red Lobster, a gun of his/her choice from Bob4God's Gun World and a leather bound, over-sized KJV1611 Bible.


Now get out there and get us some witches!


Be GODLY, be good and most importantly HAVE FUN!


Post your results here!