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  • #1

    2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

    Guess what TIME it is!

    Yes, Folks it's that time of year again!

    I'm sure you all remember the rules, but I'll list them again for the new folks.

    1. To prove a kill you must submit genitals, teeth, ears or fingers or toes to the Pastors if you cannot bring in the entire body.

    2. Severely maiming will get you points, but it's not as good as a kill.

    You will need a permit, they are now available in the Church Lobby. The cost is $4.25. If you are not able to afford the cost of a Witch Hunting Permit, please fill out a "Hardship" Form available from a Pastor and a permit will be provided for you free of charge.

    Winners will receive the coveted 2010 Witch Hunt Award, an all expense paid trip to Dollywood Theme Park, a gun of his/her choice from Bob4God's Gun World and a leather bound, over-sized KJV1611 Bible.

    Now get out there and get us some witches!

    Have fun!

    Post your results here!!!
    Attached Files
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    Tags: goths will burn in hell, halloween = helloween, witch hunt
  • #2
    Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Lmiti!

    Last year I had 2 witches disqualified because I used a bear trap. Some rule about poaching in the park.

    This year I am going for a gentler way, a snare.
    Attached Files

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Lmiti!

      Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
      Last year I had 2 witches disqualified because I used a bear trap. Some rule about poaching in the park.

      This year I am going for a gentler way, a snare.
      Why don't we use your helicopter and borrow an M-60 from Bob4God? We can mow them down the way they used to control Mustang populations in Nevada.

      I am happy to share the award with you Brother
      Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

      sigpic

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      • #4
        Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Lmiti!

        Originally posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
        Why don't we use your helicopter and borrow an M-60 from Bob4God? We can mow them down the way they used to control Mustang populations in Nevada.

        I am happy to share the award with you Brother
        That is a viable option, a bit unsporting. I dont think it would be fair, there are only 5 or 6 other people in Freehold that own one. No I think I will stick with the snare and brush covered pit.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Lmiti!

          My daddy has been talking about taking time off of work specifically for the Freehold witch hunt. Witch hunting is illegal where we are so daddy and my second oldest brother might be making the pilgrimage out to Iowa. I hope they let me come too!
          Girls for God

          Ephesians 5:22

          Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

            So just to clarify... Does pretty much anyone who is not a True Christian(tm) count towards our total? The Bible indicates that anyone who rebels against the LORD is a witch, and Scripture tells us that only True Christians(tm) are without sin (i.e., without rebellion against Him).

            I Samuel 15:23
            For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.

            Or are we pretty much just talking gothics and wiccans? Just wondering whether we're going Scriptural or colloquial here... Also, are we limited to the gated area of Freehold, or can we bag witches and warlocks outside the gates? Cassandra is about the only witch I can think of around here, and she has been keeping her head low lately.
            II Thessalonians 1:7-9
            And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
            In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
            Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
            The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

              What the white man needs an M60 to do, the black man only needs a spear!

              I have had much experience spearing feral monkeys in my homeland, so beware, I think I stand a good chance of clinching this years trophy!
              "And the evil spirit answered and said, Jesus I know, and Paul I know, but who are ye?" Acts 19:15

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

                Originally posted by Babatunde View Post
                What the white man needs an M60 to do, the black man only needs a spear!

                I have had much experience spearing feral monkeys in my homeland, so beware, I think I stand a good chance of clinching this years trophy!
                Friend, I am so jealous. I can only imagine the wonderful hunting you must have had in Africa. Maybe you will be there for the witch hunt this year in Freehold?

                I truly hope so.
                Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.


                sigpic

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                • #9
                  Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

                  So are tracking dogs permitted? Is there a specific scent you would use to train said dogs?

                  This is my first season, I'm so excited

                  What about night hunting? I'm assuming that would be the easiest time to catch them.
                  PROOF: Atheists are too stupid to understand the Bible!

                  Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

                  Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

                    Originally posted by Seth Campbell View Post
                    So are tracking dogs permitted? Is there a specific scent you would use to train said dogs?

                    This is my first season, I'm so excited

                    What about night hunting? I'm assuming that would be the easiest time to catch them.
                    Over in the dark continent of africa, I don't think you'd even need track dogs. The smell is pretty ripe...
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                      Over in the dark continent of africa, I don't think you'd even need track dogs. The smell is pretty ripe...
                      We're going to Africa?
                      PROOF: Atheists are too stupid to understand the Bible!

                      Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

                      Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

                        Originally posted by Seth Campbell View Post
                        We're going to Africa?
                        Shhhh.

                        How do you think I bag the most witches every season? They're thick with witches over there!
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

                          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                          Shhhh.

                          How do you think I bag the most witches every season? They're thick with witches over there!
                          So you are importing them. The rules say local caught. I feel a trip to Jamaica coming on. Brother Seth care to join me? We can do a little Vodoo ministering.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

                            Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
                            1. To prove a kill you must submit genitals, teeth, ears or fingers or toes to the Pastors if you cannot bring in the entire body.
                            Would it be wise to restrict the hunters to only one body part? Otherwise, a less scrupulous hunter could bring in genitals, fingers, toes, and ears, and say he got four witches . . . all from one body.

                            By the way, TermiWix is prepared to release the captured witches upon the Mayor's notice. Per his request, they've been put on a high-protein feed and have spent the last month doing aerobic exercise and running on treadmills. I'm sure they will put up quite a fight!
                            Bible boring? Nonsense!
                            Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                            You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

                              Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                              So you are importing them. The rules say local caught. I feel a trip to Jamaica coming on. Brother Seth care to join me? We can do a little Vodoo ministering.
                              Any time you're ready


                              Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                              Would it be wise to restrict the hunters to only one body part? Otherwise, a less scrupulous hunter could bring in genitals, fingers, toes, and ears, and say he got four witches . . . all from one body.
                              Well I can see allowing different body parts if we're using dogs. The boys can get a little exuberant when they've been chasing and who knows what parts will be left unmaimed.

                              By the way, TermiWix is prepared to release the captured witches upon the Mayor's notice. Per his request, they've been put on a high-protein feed and have spent the last month doing aerobic exercise and running on treadmills. I'm sure they will put up quite a fight!
                              So with the extra protein going to their brains, have any of them realized the Love of God? Are they given that chance?

                              I've always thought that a vegetarian diet leads to a witches insanity issues.
                              PROOF: Atheists are too stupid to understand the Bible!

                              Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

                              Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?

                              Comment

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