[Levi Jones]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

I'm starting slowly this year. The Twinkie and Big Mac feeder is getting a lot of usage. I suspect I will get the trophy for the largest. I'm telling you judging by the depth of the footprints this old gal is leaving behind, she may be the elusive 400 pounder of legend.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

I'm starting slowly this year. The Twinkie and Big Mac feeder is getting a lot of usage. I suspect I will get the trophy for the largest. I'm telling you judging by the depth of the footprints this old gal is leaving behind, she may be the elusive 400 pounder of legend.

Brother, do you mean Old Iron Crotch?

I hear her hide is so thick, she can deflect normal bullets and arrows!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

Brother, do you mean Old Iron Crotch?

I hear her hide is so thick, she can deflect normal bullets and arrows!

Old Iron Crotch is legendary. They say she can melt the bullets in your gun before they even have a chance to leave the barrel. Anyone who bagged that one would be a hero in the True Christian(tm) world.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

Old Iron Crotch is legendary. They say she can melt the bullets in your gun before they even have a chance to leave the barrel. Anyone who bagged that one would be a hero in the True Christian™ world.

Is it possible Old Iron Crotch has been helping the witches released that have cleverly escaped from the TermiWix facility on a remarkably predictable basis?

Luke did mention that some of the guards were getting spooked the last couple nights, claiming that they heard a bear crashing through the woods at night, but finding gigantic Birkenstock prints out there the next day . . . Here I thought they'd been getting into the whiskey, you know?

[SinisterPizza]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

Oi! Gunshots fired in the direction of my coven's last moon ritual... we were skyclad. Making half a dozen naked witches scatter into the woods - including one of my lovers, who twisted her ankle running through a sodding swamp - to escape whichever one of you Landover lot decided to come hunt witches in Canada? Not funny

[Levi Jones]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

Is it possible Old Iron Crotch has been helping the witches released that have cleverly escaped from the TermiWix facility on a remarkably predictable basis?

Luke did mention that some of the guards were getting spooked the last couple nights, claiming that they heard a bear crashing through the woods at night, but finding gigantic Birkenstock prints out there the next day . . . Here I thought they'd been getting into the whiskey, you know?

Ask them if they have been hearing a heavy wheezing sound followed by complaining. Perhaps there is an employee there who will argue what color the sky is?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

Brother, do you mean Old Iron Crotch?

I hear her hide is so thick, she can deflect normal bullets and arrows!

Indeed she is Brother. Be careful. She always reminded me of a savage manatee.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

Indeed she is Brother. Be careful. She always reminded me of a savage manatee.

Legend has it that she has harnessed the power of vagina dentata.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

1. To prove a kill you must submit genitals, teeth, ears or fingers or toes to the Pastors if you cannot bring in the entire body.

Did the shipment of 83 heads I sent arrive yet? I was careful this year to keep the heads intact as last year I lost due not having enough proof of killing the most witches.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

Did the shipment of 83 heads I sent arrive yet? I was careful this year to keep the heads intact as last year I lost due not having enough proof of killing the most witches.

I just send in the ears. I'm up over 200 now.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

Good news, everyone! Luke called a little while ago to let me know that an extra shipment of five naked Canadian witches was donated by the Ontario authorities. TermiWix has been asked to see if they can be taught to wear clothes, learn English, AND decide to praise Jesus in the short time before Halloween Weekend. Perhaps some of the Ladies of Landover would be willing to help?

On a completely unrelated note, Luke informs me that the guards have reported sighting several disoriented witches wearing bloody earmuffs and stumbling through the woods.

I'm not sure what that is about.

[Seth Campbell]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

Good news, everyone! Luke called a little while ago to let me know that an extra shipment of five naked Canadian witches was donated by the Ontario authorities. TermiWix has been asked to see if they can be taught to wear clothes, learn English, AND decide to praise Jesus in the short time before Halloween Weekend. Perhaps some of the Ladies of Landover would be willing to help?

On a completely unrelated note, Luke informs me that the guards have reported sighting several disoriented witches wearing bloody earmuffs and stumbling through the woods.

I'm not sure what that is about.

I hope that TermiWix has actually confirmed that these are in fact witches. I would not be surprised if the Canadian (especially Ontario) government would try and ship Christians off to be shot.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

I hope that TermiWix has actually confirmed that these are in fact witches. I would not be surprised if the Canadian (especially Ontario) government would try and ship Christians off to be shot.

I certainly expect so, Brother!

After all, all TermiWix detainees are given the opportunity to accept Christ. Even the French-speaking ones. So, if they've refused, they certainly can't be Christians. Plus, the local jurisdiction is required to submit signed affidavits by three individuals of good character to certify that the witches so-called are witches in fact, and have been observed in spell-casting or other witchery.

[SillySnake82]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

I certainly expect so, Brother!

After all, all TermiWix detainees are given the opportunity to accept Christ. Even the French-speaking ones. So, if they've refused, they certainly can't be Christians. Plus, the local jurisdiction is required to submit signed affidavits by three individuals of good character to certify that the witches so-called are witches in fact, and have been observed in spell-casting or other witchery.

All right Rev, I'm a hardcore atheist, please help me accept god, what do I do, how do I go about it? What shall I do to be a better person?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2010 Witch Hunt - No Bag Limit!

All right Rev, I'm a hardcore atheist, please help me accept god, what do I do, how do I go about it? What shall I do to be a better person?

1. Post an introduction in the Introduction Forum.
2. Read the Bible in a Year section to learn God's Word.
3. Believe what you've read.
4. Stop derailing threads with irrelevant questions.