[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

Brother Nobar, I'm concerned.

Why is Officer Don "Not Fat" Richards allowing pumpkins, spiderwebs, etc. in Jenkem Flats?

Is this just another example of how he neglects to enforce the law in your "extraordinarily affordable" neighborhood?

I'm sure you'd have no difficulties with the law if you cleaned up on your own, perhaps in partnership with Brother Cranky.

[Nobar King]

Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

You can hardly tell the difference, some times. A couple of the houses on this street already look like haunted houses all year round. Overgrown trees surrounding properties that are covered feet deep with the mulch from years of never clearing the leaves. Some hoarders live over there, I heard that they had to start living in their van because there was so much junk in the house. Even the van was full of news papers and didn't run at all.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

You can hardly tell the difference, some times. A couple of the houses on this street already look like haunted houses all year round. Overgrown trees surrounding properties that are covered feet deep with the mulch from years of never clearing the leaves. Some hoarders live over there, I heard that they had to start living in their van because there was so much junk in the house. Even the van was full of news papers and didn't run at all.

Brother, I've heard that newspapers and leaves are flammable.

That could be a fire hazard.

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

I was driving around a neighborhood in a city that I don't even live in and I saw a house that had been made to look as though it were haunted: boarded up windows, overgrown lawn, peeling paint, fake cobwebs. I asked the owner, who was hanging a fake ghost in the tree outside the house if he made his house look like this for Halloween and he said he had. I then got the number of his Home Owner's Association and called it in, sure enough he was in violation of a plethora of rules and regulations. Next day I drove by again and it was all gone!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

I had a nice chat with several members of my congregation last night, and we came up with a great idea.

The kids come to the door and say "Trick or Treat", right? Of course, what they MEAN is, "GIMME a treat NOW, or I will play a trick on you!" They're threatening to throw eggs at your car to ruin your paint job, or soap your windows, or spray paint your house.

(For adults, "trick" has a different meaning which I will not discuss here. Mrs. James West, I've got my eye on you. )

The younger kids, who haven't graduated to the level of "tricking", may understand it differently. "Give me a treat, or give me a trick!"

OK. One trick, coming up.

Christians, get your garden hoses! (A bucket full of honey works well, but leaves the front stoop all sticky.)

Ah, the delicious tears of Satan's minions, hosed down with 40-degree water, their costumes ruined . . .

[BelieverInGod]

Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

I had a nice chat with several members of my congregation last night, and we came up with a great idea.

The kids come to the door and say "Trick or Treat", right? Of course, what they MEAN is, "GIMME a treat NOW, or I will play a trick on you!" They're threatening to throw eggs at your car to ruin your paint job, or soap your windows, or spray paint your house.

(For adults, "trick" has a different meaning which I will not discuss here. Mrs. James West, I've got my eye on you. )

The younger kids, who haven't graduated to the level of "tricking", may understand it differently. "Give me a treat, or give me a trick!"

OK. One trick, coming up.

Christians, get your garden hoses! (A bucket full of honey works well, but leaves the front stoop all sticky.)

Ah, the delicious tears of Satan's minions, hosed down with 40-degree water, their costumes ruined . . .

That gives me an idea.....

What about a few of these hidden around the house. They're motion activated.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

That gives me an idea.....

What about a few of these hidden around the house. They're motion activated.

Great idea, Sister!

You could set a couple up pointing toward the house, so they only come on once the kiddies are past them . . . then have others set up to direct them through a water-spray maze into your very own meat locker Hell House!

[SheepOfGod]

Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

I'm wrighting up these panpthlets on how halloween is a disgrace against the Lord and will give them to trick or treaters that come to my house on halloween instead of candy. I have a bunch of raw egg rootting in this jug and if anyone of them try to talk back to me after I hand them the panthlet I'm gonna pour it in their candy basket.

[Butch Dickerson]

Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

I take my cousin Little Tony on a real trick or treat.
We go to the jew neighborhoods. We ask for gold, or else.
We also get lots of candy we resell later to buy proper dietary supplements at the on-line Mexican pharmacy.

Little Tony has knack for "persuading" jews , he wants to be just like me.

[Nobar King]

Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

I prayed for rain for the entire United States on Sunday. That's not likely to happen, but at least there's a forecast for rain for central Iowa on Halloween.

[Gambri]

Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

fun fact that you seem to hate iceland that Halloween is not celebrated in Iceland

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

fun fact that you seem to hate iceland that Halloween is not celebrated in Iceland

Gee, that is indeed very funny. Now go back to your igloo please.

[catcooker]

Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

Instead of candy, I pass out flyers telling the kids to repent and listen to Jubus

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

Instead of candy, I pass out flyers telling the kids to repent and listen to Jubus

What is "Jubus"? Some sort of a heavy metal band, I bet.

[Nobar King]

Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

I just installed a brand new sprinkler system to water my magnificent lawn and I paid extra to have a switch installed inside the front door so that I can turn it on in an instant to soak Jehovas, Mormons, and trick-or-treaters. If my prayer for rain doesn't work then I'll just rain on the parade, myself.