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  • Rev. M. Rodimer
    Honorary True Christian™
    Forum Member
    • May 2008
    • 13996

    #16
    Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

    Brother Nobar, you've given me the most wonderful idea!

    Every year, on Good Friday, I set out my motion-sensor-controlled Passion scene. It plays the sounds of Jesus making His great temporary Sacrifice (thanks, Mel Gibson!) whenever someone walks by . . . loudly enough to hear a few houses away.

    My neighbors say they love it so much, that they always walk by to admire it from across the street the whole time it's up (until Easter Sunday). That way, they say, they can take in the whole display! Sadly, they rarely trip the motion sensors that way.

    Anyway, it's probably not the best idea to install my lifesize scene (I include the two thieves) before Satan's Birthday -- it'd get vandalized. Someone would probably put a hockey mask on Jesus and a machete in his hand, a Freddy sweater on one thief and a witch costume on the other.

    So, I'm just going to hide the speakers and the motion sensors outside, and turn them on at dusk on Halloween. Then, any trick-or-treaters wandering by on the sidewalk will get a blast of REAL Holy Day sounds, Jesus' echoing screams of agony, the flogging, the pounding in of the nails, and the evil cackling of the Jews!
    Bible boring? Nonsense!
    Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
    You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

    Comment

    • SUV
      True Christian™ Princess
      The Driving Force behind RA12
      Have at it, anytime!
      • Sep 2006
      • 11027

      #17
      Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

      Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
      It plays the sounds of Jesus making His great temporary Sacrifice (thanks, Mel Gibson!) whenever someone walks by . . . loudly enough to hear a few houses away.
      It would be even cooler with the real Mel Gibson up there, Crucified, rotten old cat-licker that he be

      Comment

      • James Dewitt
        #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
        • Jan 2010
        • 6267

        #18
        Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

        This year I ordered a Heat Ray gun. I plan on putting on my front lawn and blasting the little devil worshipers. Got it from Bob4God, mail order. Its way cool.
        Attached Files

        Comment

        • Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.
          Pastor, Physician, Scholar and Financial Genius
          Ask me about my unlimited-income BibleCoin™ opportunities! Invest with the Best!
          True Christian™
          • Aug 2010
          • 259

          #19
          Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

          Dear Friends,

          It goes without saying that Christians should never engage in any Halloween related activities. In my personal experience Halloween is an excellent time to lure children into your house by promising them candy and then getting them on their knees to fill them with the joy of Jesus! Since sometimes parents are incapable of determining what is best for their child, I reluctantly wear a Halloween costume to be unrecognizable myself and then temporarily move to the house of an annoying neighbor who happens to be out of town. I already got rid of several annoying neighbors this way. "In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour." (Leviticus 19:15)

          Yours in Christ,

          Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.
          How to Study the Bible - About HELL! - The Miracles of Jesus - Biblical Facts - Scientific PROOF

          THE BIBLE SAYS THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO HEAVEN!
          Jesus said: "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." John 14:6

          ONLY JESUS CAN SAVE YOU!

          "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus,
          and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him
          from the dead, thou shalt be saved." Romans 10:9


          1. Admit you are a worthless sinner. Romans 3:10
          2. Be willing to turn from sin (repent). Acts 17:30
          3. Believe that Jesus Christ died for you, was buried and
          rose from the dead. Romans 10:9-10
          4. Through prayer, invite Jesus into your life to become
          your personal Savior, Boss, King and Lord. Romans 10:13
          What to Pray:

          Lord Jesus, I know that I have sinned against you.
          I know that I am not perfect and that I can never
          please you through my own efforts. I know that I
          deserve to be judged according to my sins. And, I
          know that I have absolutely nothing to offer you.

          Lord Jesus, I ask you to forgive me. I do not rely
          on myself but only on you and I receive you as
          Lord of my life and as savior of my soul.
          Lord Jesus, please save me!

          Accepted Jesus as your Savior?
          Now you need to:


          1. Study your KJV Bible every day
          to get to know Christ better.
          2. Talk to God in prayer every day.
          3. Be baptized, worship, fellowship,
          and serve with other Christians
          in a church where Christ is preached,
          and the Bible is the final authority.
          4. Tell others about Jesus Christ
          until the day Jesus finally kills you.

          Comment

          • Seth Campbell
            Outdoorsman, Hunter, Fisherman, Husband, True Christian™
            True Christian™
            • Apr 2010
            • 1565

            #20
            Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

            Originally posted by Shela Tansper View Post
            One of my cousins crop sprayed a pumpkin farm with a strong weed killer a couple of years back, made three low passes to make sure the job was done properly.
            RoundUp is a wonderful gift from God, isn't it sister.


            Originally posted by Sister Charli View Post
            Have you considered the .... if you can't beat'em you may as well join'em tactic?

            SISTER

            I am shocked, absolutely SHOCKED to see such words typed by you. This is what the liebral false churches have done. Do you want us to go that way?

            In our old home, we handed out miniature Bibles one year (really just small books with quotes in them) or Chick Tracts.
            PROOF: Atheists are too stupid to understand the Bible!

            Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

            Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?

            Comment

            • TC Patriot
              AMERICA - LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!!!
              True Christian™
              • Oct 2008
              • 1060

              #21
              Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

              In addition to guns I sell trapping supplies.


              I have about 50 of these bad boys in stock!

              Jesus loves Dick



              Cheney/Palin 2012

              Comment

              • MizoOfOz
                Confirmed Enemy of God
                BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                • Oct 2010
                • 5

                #22
                Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

                Why would I want to ruin Halloween?

                I get to sit around watching awesome horror movies and eating tons of processed sugar.

                Comment

                • pugentSound
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                  • Sep 2010
                  • 7

                  #23
                  Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

                  Let us build a hecatomb to God, so that he may answer our prayers and destroy the heathens upon the hour of the harvest festival.

                  Comment

                  • Rev. M. Rodimer
                    Honorary True Christian™
                    Forum Member
                    • May 2008
                    • 13996

                    #24
                    Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

                    Originally posted by pungentSmell View Post
                    Let us build a hecatomb to God, so that he may answer our prayers and destroy the heathens upon the hour of the harvest festival.
                    That was a lovely idea, PungentSmell, but I see you are no longer with us.

                    I do hope you enjoy Hell.
                    Bible boring? Nonsense!
                    Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                    You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                    Comment

                    • LordSaveUs
                      Unsaved trash
                      • Sep 2010
                      • 14

                      #25
                      Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

                      I shall be answering the door dressed as a cathlick priest - as soon as those little kiddies see me, they'll be running to save their precious unmolested selves, and straight (which I am by the way) into the loving arms of the LORD Jesus.
                      The only one who hates homosexuals more than me is Jesus

                      Please, I am definitely NOT a homosexual, so don't go projecting on me!

                      Comment

                      • Phebe Carlyle
                        GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler
                        Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
                        True Christian™
                        • May 2010
                        • 2604

                        #26
                        Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

                        Brothers and Sisters,

                        I was pondering as to what I could do, that could affect this heinous "holiday".

                        Being only a new True American(as of July this year) I have never had to contemplate such intervention before. So I thought the best thing to do, would be to pray on it and as usual, God ANSWERED my selfless PRAYERS!

                        God decided to use one of His tried, tested and successful methods of DESTROYING and/or TAINTING CROPS!

                        Exodus 7- 12 comes to mind as does Malachi 3 and Zechariah 14.

                        Downy Mildew Disease Invades Illinois Pumpkin Crop


                        Proof that God does not only work in mysterious ways, but also in RIGHTEOUS ways!

                        YIC

                        Mrs Phebe Dewitt.




                        There's Jesus here,
                        Just see what He offers me....
                        Down here my sins forgiven,
                        Up there a home in heaven
                        Praise God, That's the way for me!!

                        Comment

                        • James Dewitt
                          #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
                          • Jan 2010
                          • 6267

                          #27
                          Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

                          Just one more thing claymore mines. Thanks Bob4God
                          Attached Files

                          Comment

                          • Wash O'Hanley
                            Debate Moderator (and participant)
                            Master Debater-- Has Never Been Defeated in a Debate
                            Louder Than Reason
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 2126

                            #28
                            Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

                            Today I was in Des Moines visiting my mother. On weekends I mow her lawn for her since she's too old to do it herself and too distrustful of Mexicans to hire anyone. Anyway, her next door neighbor had one of those blow-up inflatable-looking lawn ornaments depicting a 6 foot tall stack of jack-o-lanterns so I took a detour onto their lawn and ran it over.
                            sigpic

                            Comment

                            • BelieverInGod
                              Fourm Member
                              Forum Member
                              • Feb 2010
                              • 9269

                              #29
                              Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

                              Originally posted by Wash O'Hanley View Post
                              Today I was in Des Moines visiting my mother. On weekends I mow her lawn for her since she's too old to do it herself and too distrustful of Mexicans to hire anyone. Anyway, her next door neighbor had one of those blow-up inflatable-looking lawn ornaments depicting a 6 foot tall stack of jack-o-lanterns so I took a detour onto their lawn and ran it over.
                              I hope you didn't damage the mower, new blades can be pricey.

                              Seth is thinking of putting a couple of decorations out to invite kids in, then having the largest rotts tied to a couple of trees in the darkest part of our driveway. Once the dogs do their job, these kids will have to go home because they messed their pants, no more begging for them.
                              Drama queen

                              Comment

                              • David Micheal
                                Forum Member
                                Forum Member
                                • Aug 2010
                                • 207

                                #30
                                Re: What have you done to ruin Halloween?

                                Ruining Helloween? Simple, I go to the local Pumpkin patch at night at set em on fire. That way you send em all back to hell where they belong.

                                Comment

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