[LBC loving Dutchmen]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

Has one of the pastors received my payment? I hope I send it to the right account. I followed instructions via http://www.landoverbaptist.org/cards/

I hope the LIEberal dutch didn't block my payment due to the comment: "Beware gingers: Dutch witch hunt is on!". But I haven't got a blocking notice yet.

[death to witches]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

Remember people who practice homopathy and those Quantum physicists are witches to.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

Remember people who practice homopathy and those Quantum physicists are witches to.

Homeopathy is perfectly legitimate for a True Christian™. After all, to look at how it works objectively, one could only conclude it doesn't. However, the real homeopathic knows that between dilutions the container holding the liquid must be "succussed" (the homopathic version of being "banged" or "hit") against a leather bound bible. That's what potentizes the remedy.

[Oliver_Cromwell]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

I have built a cage to throw all the junior witches into that call at the house demanding trick or treat. When the cage is full I shall submerge it in the river, Any that survive are surely witches and shall be burnt in a massive pyre I have erected.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

I have built a cage to throw all the junior witches into that call at the house demanding trick or treat. When the cage is full I shall submerge it in the river, Any that survive are surely witches and shall be burnt in a massive pyre I have erected.

Interesting idea . . . does your town allow for witch execution? I thought Freehold was the only place it was legal.

[Oliver_Cromwell]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

I know that we have to abide by silly laws but did that stop our beloved brother Jeffrey Dahmer in his Godly quest to rid the earth of queers, God rest his soul.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

I know that we have to abide by silly laws but did that stop our beloved brother Jeffrey Dahmer in his Godly quest to rid the earth of queers, God rest his soul.

Mr. Cramwell, Dahmer wasn't a Christian until he was in prison.

Meanwhile, there are no silly laws against witch hunting in Freehold! I can't wait for the big bonfire at the end, it's a great celebration, with fireworks!

[John Creeser]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

This is the first year I am bringing the boys with me, we're using bows. It's a bit messier and they need to toughen up if they are going to be Soldiers for Christ.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

I'll be trapping in the "trap zone".

This year, I'm switching from bear traps to wolf traps. Last year, all I got was half a dozen feet.

[Liam the ex-drunk]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

I'll be trapping in the "trap zone".

This year, I'm switching from bear traps to wolf traps. Last year, all I got was half a dozen feet.

What date does it start on again? I had a few in my sights yesterday but I didn't want to break any rules, so I let them live. I am tracking them though, I just want to get a head start on the veterans here.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

What date does it start on again? I had a few in my sights yesterday but I didn't want to break any rules, so I let them live. I am tracking them though, I just want to get a head start on the veterans here.

Here you go:

The season officially opens on October 24th this year, in honor of the satanic holiday "United Nations Day."

In order to get credit for the kill, you need to present the witch's ear or cooter to the judges (hand picked by yours truly). Wizard tallywhackers will, as is traditional in Freehold, be sold to the injuns of Papua New Guinea for soup, with the proceeds going to the Pastor's General Fund.

My traps are set up, but nothing yet . . . of course, the captured witches haven't yet been released.

That happens on the 31st, when True Christians(tm) make Halloween the scariest night of the year . . . to be a witch!

[Matthew Hopkins]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

Here you go:

My traps are set up, but nothing yet . . . of course, the captured witches haven't yet been released.

That happens on the 31st, when True Christians(tm) make Halloween the scariest night of the year . . . to be a witch!

This is most illuminating. Do you favour the bow, gun, curare dart or physical combat? So many ways to hunt a witch! Forgive me, for it is my pet subject.

The trapping of the witch is perhaps more satisfying spiritual, than their eventual slaying conversion. A combination of body odor, sulphur, ripe soft cheese and tannin provides the perfect lure. (There are, of course, other Godly ingredients, the identity of which I will not reveal.)

Witches will often deny that they are witches. Toying with them may provide some amusement indication of the depth of their mendacity. The next stage of torture calling in a trained counsellor, is always advised.

Death Recovery will be slow and painful.

Praise Him!

YBIC

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

This is most illuminating. Do you favour the bow, gun, curare dart or physical combat? So many ways to hunt a witch! Forgive me, for it is my pet subject.

The trapping of the witch is perhaps more satisfying spiritual, than their eventual slaying conversion. A combination of body odor, sulphur, ripe soft cheese and tannin provides the perfect lure. (There are, of course, other Godly ingredients, the identity of which I will not reveal.)

Witches will often deny that they are witches. Toying with them may provide some amusement indication of the depth of their mendacity. The next stage of torture calling in a trained counsellor, is always advised.

Death Recovery will be slow and painful.

Praise Him!

YBIC

Friend, the Witch Hunt at Freehold began years ago with a known coven of witches in the woods outside of town. Once that land was annexed into Freehold (the witches never checked their mail and didn't see the public notices), the witches were hunted down on Halloween, their most holy night.

Nowadays, the woods are "stocked" with witches which have been imported. Last year, the folks at Landover cleverly advertised for witches for "Survivor: Iowa".

Nobody won.

We have no need to convince witches to reveal themselves. Have you never heard of "Wiccans"? They proudly declare themselves to be witches!

Why waste time trying to get a shy witch to admit something, when you just need to look at bumper stickers or place a personals ad to find dozens throwing themselves before you, proclaiming themselves the servants of Satan?

[Matthew Hopkins]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

Friend, the Witch Hunt at Freehold began years ago with a known coven of witches in the woods outside of town. Once that land was annexed into Freehold (the witches never checked their mail and didn't see the public notices), the witches were hunted down on Halloween, their most holy night.

Nowadays, the woods are "stocked" with witches which have been imported. Last year, the folks at Landover cleverly advertised for witches for "Survivor: Iowa".

Nobody won.

We have no need to convince witches to reveal themselves. Have you never heard of "Wiccans"? They proudly declare themselves to be witches!

Why waste time trying to get a shy witch to admit something, when you just need to look at bumper stickers or place a personals ad to find dozens throwing themselves before you, proclaiming themselves the servants of Satan?

How true, Brother Reverend, how true!

Witches are literally gasping to be found, and I seek out many wizards besides, often those offering to "vanish" a coin, or "see" a card trick. They are minions of the evil one.

Those who submit to their unholy charms pass beyond the pail.

Often I have held onto a witch, feeling my life blood throb away into her, or him. But I have persevered, my Brethren, always.

Praise Him!

YBIC

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

My traps were mighty productive last night! I got seven witches, some stoned hippie, two coyotes, and the head of a squirrel! (I don't know what happened to the rest of the squirrel.)

I've agreed (after much lobbying from PETA, including the attempted torching of Widow Helen) to a "catch and release" program. It was hard, but after much soul-searching I released the hippie and the two coyotes.

One of the coyotes promptly ate the squirrel head and nearly half of a witch. At least there's enough left to claim the capture.