2012 Witch Hunt!

[Levi Jones]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

I know where a coven of them meet weekly. I just know I'll finally win this year.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

I have found the most wonderful resource!

Twice a month, the "Pyramid of Enlightenment" holds a "psychic fair" in Indianapolis.

Better yet:

Our psychics will be traveling Indianapolis to new locations to better entertain you. Come visit us at any of these locations. Or send us an email at pyramidceo@aol.com requesting your favorite location and we will try to come to you.

An enterprising individual or group could rent a hall in Indianapolis, and offer to host a "psychic fair". Those people would then be able to capture entice . . . well, Lord knows how many witches, necromancers, and the like, to bring to Freehold for the Witch Hunt!

Me? I'm far too busy with my congregation to pull something like that off. Besides, I wouldn't want to be connected to any missing necromancers.

I understand they are pretty hardcore about revenge. Most of them are gypsies, you know.

Speaking of which, has Freehold set up its "Free Gypsy Campground" signs yet? Gypsies are pretty much all witches.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

My new witch gattling gun just came in. I can't wait to try it out!

The one I ordered is based on this model, but mine is customized of course.

...it turns out we didn't need a new roof on the south wing of the Landover Baptist Cathedral after all.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

I ain't gonna do nothing fancy this year. I'm just gonna chain a couple of Wiccans to the back of the truck, fill the back of the truck up with some of the boys... and heave beer bottles at 'em as we drive around town.

That won't net ya the most witches, Brother!

Of course, Zeke somehow always wins. There are certain rumors going around . . .

[Deaner]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

I ain't gonna do nothing fancy this year. I'm just gonna chain a couple of Wiccans to the back of the truck, fill the back of the truck up with some of the boys... and heave beer bottles at 'em as we drive around town.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

My new witch gattling gun just came in. I can't wait to try it out!

[Whip of Japheth]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

This year I have found too 'nests', there will be a good hunt!

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: 2012 Witch Hunt!

You can add illusionists, cause you never know if they are practising real witchcraft or not, in any case it can be considered as attempted witchcraft.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

After the raging successes of RibFest, SausageFest, and CornCon this year, I'm filled with anticipation for the best Witch Hunt ever!

I just wish it weren't six whole weeks away . . . But then again, my congregation gets a bit testy with me away so much at these "conferences".

I've noticed that, with the rise of "nones" in American society (those who reject all religions, not just Jesus), we are seeing a decline in self-proclaimed "witches". So, it's my recommendation that we expand the definition of "witch" for purposes of the hunt to include:

• Witches (such as Wiccans and pagans): They're witches by definition
• Mediums/Psychics/Tarot Readers: Talking to the dead is necromancy
• My Chemical Romance fans/Emos: Satan-loving freaks
• Theosophists: Because "Blavatsky" sounds blasphemous
• Homeopathists: They believe that water has memories and that ritual counting makes healing power
• Chiropractors: They believe that "life force" needs to be adjusted
• Acupuncturists: See Chiropractors

Are there any other classes of "people" that should be captured for the 2012 Witch Hunt?

Bobby-Joe, please send me three Witch Transport Crates. I've readied the dungeon and am about to begin luring witches with My Chemical Romance music and tranquilizer-laced Twinkies.