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  • Gary Littleton09
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Jan 2009
    • 1
    #46
    Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die

    How many of you guys have actually killed sinners/witches/emos/muslims? If you haven't than why don't you?

      Comment

      • Ezekiel Bathfire
        Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
        Christ's Rottweiler
         
        • Jan 2008
        • 22882
        #47
        Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die

        Originally posted by Gary Littleton09 View Post
        How many of you guys have actually killed sinners/witches/emos/muslims? If you haven't than why don't you?
        You're ignorant. What do you think this means,
        "Hebrews 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you."

        Landover is working towards a theocracy (look it up). When that day arrives, instead on contenting ourselves with the fine job or troops are doing killing mudslimes in Iraq and sinners in the death penalty states, we will be ruled by God's Law and your suggestion will come to fruition.
        sigpic


        “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

        Author of such illuminating essays as,
        Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

          Comment

          • Pastor Al E Pistle
            Christ's Cōnsiliārius
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 9323
            #48
            Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die

            Originally posted by Gary Littleton09 View Post
            How many of you guys have actually killed sinners/witches/emos/muslims? If you haven't than why don't you?
            Your list isn't complete. I have done my fair share in ridding the world of these cockroaches. But JESUS is coming to start Armageddon and we are fine with that. We can wait another year if necessary.
            Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
            "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
            Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


              Comment

              • SUV
                True Christian™ Princess
                The Driving Force behind RA12
                Have at it, anytime!
                • Sep 2006
                • 11027
                #49
                Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die

                Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                JESUS is coming to start Armageddon and we are fine with that. We can wait another year if necessary.
                I can't

                  Comment

                  • Reuerend RauenMoone
                    Unsaved trash
                     
                    • Feb 2008
                    • 40
                    #50
                    Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die

                    This liſt stopped in Avgvſt at nvmbre 76. What are the othre 14 Iesus approued actiuites?

                    I'd like to add the follouuing, if I mae...

                    77. Sex Magick on the Summer Solstice, to honor the Lord and Ladie.
                    78. Concocting and infvsion of belladona and mandrake, and drinking of svch, to commune with the spirits.
                    79. Praiſing Iesus, whilſt in the midſt of orgasm, tripping on mandrake, during a sex magick ritual.
                    80. Reading the Gnostic grimoires and learning all of Iesus' spells.

                    Come on guys, let's not let this thread die. There's still twenty slots left.

                    ~~RauenMoone
                    Ecc 9:5 For the liuing know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither haue they any more a reward, for the memorie of them is forgotten.

                      Comment

                      • Pastor Ezekiel
                        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                         
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 78555
                        #51
                        Re: 100 Christian Approved™ Activities to do before you die

                        Originally posted by Reuerend RauenMoone View Post
                        This liſt stopped in Avgvſt at nvmbre 76. What are the othre 14 Iesus approued actiuites?

                        I'd like to add the follouuing, if I mae...

                        77. Sex Magick on the Summer Solstice, to honor the Lord and Ladie.
                        78. Concocting and infvsion of belladona and mandrake, and drinking of svch, to commune with the spirits.
                        79. Praiſing Iesus, whilſt in the midſt of orgasm, tripping on mandrake, during a sex magick ritual.
                        80. Reading the Gnostic grimoires and learning all of Iesus' spells.

                        Come on guys, let's not let this thread die. There's still twenty slots left.

                        ~~RauenMoone

                        None of those things are Christian Approved(tm) activities. Get thee hence you pervert!
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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