Xmas Eve & Alone!!

[TwinkBoy]

This Xmas Eve I suppose everybody is home or out with friends OR...well you know....anyway I'm HOME ALONE this XMAS EVE!! Rocky is WORKING and if that's not a SIN then I don't know what a sin is PEOPLE!!

So, I'm all wrapped up here, sitting in front of the fire, visiting with all my new found FRIENDS and Landover Baptist. I'm imaging that you are here on the couch with me zipping on Cocoa with Marshmellows and Whipped Cream...Mmmmmmm...............

Now really LBC companions and fellow travelers along the Journey of Life....I've been thinking ....this past year reallyyyy hasn't been so good for me. I mean, Rocky has been "playing the field" if you know what I mean and I've had to spend several evenings at home ALONE people! Like tonight....Xmas Eve....he says he's working BUT IS HE?? Oh...I know...I should trust him right? But I just can't help but wonder if he isn't spending this evening with someone else.

Now, mind you, I've been thinking that PERHAPS I should work on changing my ways. That's one reason I came to LBC mind you. Now I'm NOT saying that I'm going to corkscrew onto Christianity BUT I've been having some VERY DEEP thoughts about my...well...let's just say...my WAYWARD ways. SOoooo LBC BUDS do you think my ROTTEN SOUL is even worth saving? Can JESUS do it? Can I reallyyyy become X-GAY?? I mean does it work?? I really needs some guidance here and I'm depending on all my LBC BUDS to guide me on this matter.

Oh well, what's a "girl" to do? I'm so DEPRESSED PEOPLE this XMAS EVE!! I'm HOME ALONE and that IS NOT good GIRLS!! Welllll..........hmmmmm.....I think I'll plug in my FAVORITE movie and just "veg" for awhile.

Peace loves,
Twink

PS--Is your "holy spirit" beginning to speak to me (do you think??) or am I coming down with some sort of schizoid mental illness???

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

First of all, you need to realize that you are not a "girl", and it is a disgusting perversion of God's plan that you would ever even want to be.

Jesus has obviously called you here for a reason, sissy. You have to start reading the Holy Bible and stop playing the skinflute, got it?

Step one would be to hit that Paypal button at the bottom of this page and make a love offering to Jesus. Get Rocky's credit cards and prepare yourself for Guaranteed Salvation©.

Do it fast, before Rocky gets home.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

This Xmas Eve I suppose everybody is home or out with friends OR...well you know....anyway I'm HOME ALONE this XMAS EVE!! Rocky is WORKING and if that's not a SIN then I don't know what a sin is PEOPLE!!

So, I'm all wrapped up here, sitting in front of the fire, visiting with all my new found FRIENDS and Landover Baptist. I'm imaging that you are here on the couch with me zipping on Cocoa with Marshmellows and Whipped Cream...Mmmmmmm...............

Now really LBC companions and fellow travelers along the Journey of Life....I've been thinking ....this past year reallyyyy hasn't been so good for me. I mean, Rocky has been "playing the field" if you know what I mean and I've had to spend several evenings at home ALONE people! Like tonight....Xmas Eve....he says he's working BUT IS HE?? Oh...I know...I should trust him right? But I just can't help but wonder if he isn't spending this evening with someone else.

Now, mind you, I've been thinking that PERHAPS I should work on changing my ways. That's one reason I came to LBC mind you. Now I'm NOT saying that I'm going to corkscrew onto Christianity BUT I've been having some VERY DEEP thoughts about my...well...let's just say...my WAYWARD ways. SOoooo LBC BUDS do you think my ROTTEN SOUL is even worth saving? Can JESUS do it? Can I reallyyyy become X-GAY?? I mean does it work?? I really needs some guidance here and I'm depending on all my LBC BUDS to guide me on this matter.

Oh well, what's a "girl" to do? I'm so DEPRESSED PEOPLE this XMAS EVE!! I'm HOME ALONE and that IS NOT good GIRLS!! Welllll..........hmmmmm.....I think I'll plug in my FAVORITE movie and just "veg" for awhile.

Peace loves,
Twink

PS--Is your "holy spirit" beginning to speak to me (do you think??) or am I coming down with some sort of schizoid mental illness???

I am home, but I am never alone. JESUS is with me. You CAN become an EX-HOMER. It's a lifestyle choice. You merely need something to get the demons out of your colon and because it's CHRISTmas, I am going to tell you how to do it successfully at home.

Go take a dramamine tablet to settle your tummy. Wait half an hour. Then pour 8 ounces of COLD fresh orange juice ,with pulp, into a blender. Add 8 ounces of freshly opened olive oil and a couple of ice cubes and blend it WELL.

Then chug it down. All at once, no sipping. Then fill your colon with shaved ice to put the demons to sleep. Brother, in a few hours those demons will come OUT, PRAISE GOD!

[Jesus is Lord]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

This Xmas Eve I suppose everybody is home or out with friends OR...well you know....anyway I'm HOME ALONE this XMAS EVE!! Rocky is WORKING and if that's not a SIN then I don't know what a sin is PEOPLE!!

So, I'm all wrapped up here, sitting in front of the fire, visiting with all my new found FRIENDS and Landover Baptist. I'm imaging that you are here on the couch with me zipping on Cocoa with Marshmellows and Whipped Cream...Mmmmmmm...............

Now really LBC companions and fellow travelers along the Journey of Life....I've been thinking ....this past year reallyyyy hasn't been so good for me. I mean, Rocky has been "playing the field" if you know what I mean and I've had to spend several evenings at home ALONE people! Like tonight....Xmas Eve....he says he's working BUT IS HE?? Oh...I know...I should trust him right? But I just can't help but wonder if he isn't spending this evening with someone else.

Now, mind you, I've been thinking that PERHAPS I should work on changing my ways. That's one reason I came to LBC mind you. Now I'm NOT saying that I'm going to corkscrew onto Christianity BUT I've been having some VERY DEEP thoughts about my...well...let's just say...my WAYWARD ways. SOoooo LBC BUDS do you think my ROTTEN SOUL is even worth saving? Can JESUS do it? Can I reallyyyy become X-GAY?? I mean does it work?? I really needs some guidance here and I'm depending on all my LBC BUDS to guide me on this matter.

Oh well, what's a "girl" to do? I'm so DEPRESSED PEOPLE this XMAS EVE!! I'm HOME ALONE and that IS NOT good GIRLS!! Welllll..........hmmmmm.....I think I'll plug in my FAVORITE movie and just "veg" for awhile.

Peace loves,
Twink

PS--Is your "holy spirit" beginning to speak to me (do you think??) or am I coming down with some sort of schizoid mental illness???

Yes, even you can be saved. The first step is to repent of your sinful lifestyle choice. The second is to send a generous tithe to Jesus via the Godly PayPal button below. Third, sign up for Betty Bower's Baptists Are Saving Homesexuals Ministry.

Repent now before Jesus kills you and sends you to Hell for all eternity for being a homer.

Of course the year hasn't been good for you, God is punishing you for being a homer.

With the help of Landover and Jesus even you can possibly be Saved™. PRAISE!

[Brother Love]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

I thinks he's a tryin to tricks us cuz I've heard stuff like this befor out of his SODOMITE LOVIN', penis envying mouth!! I'm tellin ya'll this twinkie boy is a DEMON incarnate!! Go rit ahead and try savin his soul but I ain't goin to bet on it (if I was a wagerin' man but of course I ain't cuz ever body knows gamblin and wagerin' be sins in the Lord's eyes).

[Deaner]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

Oh well, what's a "girl" to do? I'm so DEPRESSED PEOPLE this XMAS EVE!!

Why don't you do what that other "girl" Marilyn Monroe did when she was all alone and depressed. She got all dolled up, started drinking, taking pills, then killed herself.

Stupid queer.

Dean

[SUV]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

Listen, you Homer! Twinkie, my advice is that you get yourself a KJV 1611 and tote it around with you wherever you go. (The Word of God is of considerable weight, of course.)

You'll be so worn out from carrying that Puppy around all day you won't have the energy to think about your little "personal problems" any more.

PS You got any of that Cocoa with 'Mallers & Whipped Cream left?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

Remeber; with Jesus you are never alone. That means the shower and the tolite too.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

Aww, don't let these people make you think you have to give up your sexuality. People who think that being gay is a disease have a disease themselves. Don't worry Twinkboy, I'm sure the right man is out there somewhere...but don't tell this lot if you find him!

Remeber; with Jesus you are never alone. That means the shower and the tolite too

So you're saying your god is a pervert? Heh, no wonder you choose to worship him.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

Aww, don't let these people make you think you have to give up your sexuality. People who think that being gay is a disease have a disease themselves. Don't worry Twinkboy, I'm sure the right man is out there somewhere...but don't tell this lot if you find him!

Don't encourage sodomites, witch!! The Holy Bible tells us that not only homers (those "without natural affection") but also their supporters (those "that have pleasure in them") are "worthy of death." Do you actually WANT to be sent to hellfire with these fags? Romans 1:31-32

So you're saying your god is a pervert? Heh, no wonder you choose to worship him.

NOTHING Jesus says or does can be perverted, by definition. Get your mind out of the gutter, and stop mocking Jesus if you know whats good for you.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

Aww, don't let these people make you think you have to give up your sexuality. People who think that being gay is a disease have a disease themselves. Don't worry Twinkboy, I'm sure the right man is out there somewhere...but don't tell this lot if you find him!

Rachael,

Haven't you learned anything about Christian medical science since you have been here? Disease is God's punishment on the wicked. Now how can a TRUE Christian(tm), beloved by Jesus and one of His chosen elect get ill and become a homer? It would be impossible! PRAISE

Take me for instance; I did my missionary work in Sin Fransissyco, going from one den of inequity after another for The Lord. There is wasn't a day that when by were I wasn't in some bath house, S&M club or disco just filled with homers wagging their tight bottom in clingy leather and rubber. Did I ever succumb to Satan's trap? The very gates of Hell that open in those homer’s backsides! No! Jesus commanded my tallywacker to remain unmoved! The entire time I was in those places I could fell His Holy hands upon me, protecting me! PRAISE HIM AGAIN!

[SUV]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

The entire time I was in those places I could fell His Holy hands upon me, protecting me! PRAISE HIM AGAIN!

Truly, Brother, JESUS did touch you! But if He was one of those fake Jesuses, like one of the ones I showered with, I do Hope you called the police on him.

(Wait - maybe not be a Good idea - could have been one of those Village "People" in disguise again.)

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

Don't encourage sodomites, witch!! The Holy Bible tells us that not only homers (those "without natural affection") but also their supporters (those "that have pleasure in them") are "worthy of death." Do you actually WANT to be sent to hellfire with these fags? Romans 1:31-32

According to you, aren't I headed that way (to 'hell') anyway? And their affection to them IS natural. To them, heterosexual sex is unnatural and something which would bring them only discomfort, no love or pleasure or joy.
Forcing them into a hetero relationship would be like forcing you into a homosexual relationship. How would you like that?

NOTHING Jesus says or does can be perverted, by definition. Get your mind out of the gutter, and stop mocking Jesus if you know whats good for you.

In our society, anyone who watches people on the shower or toilet would be arrested for peeping-tom'ing. That kind of thing isn't legal and yes it is perverted! So if you worship a deity who glorifies murder, rape and perversion, what does that make you?
Heh...I don't need to answer that for you, the answer is, of course, blindingly obvious.

Rachael,

Haven't you learned anything about Christian medical science since you have been here? Disease is God's punishment on the wicked. Now how can a TRUE Christian(tm), beloved by Jesus and one of His chosen elect get ill and become a homer? It would be impossible! PRAISE old

Well, the way you seem to dwell on demon sodomy and being touched all over by jesus seems to say you don't mind dude-on-dude action all that much.

Take me for instance; I did my missionary work in Sin Fransissyco, going from one den of inequity after another for The Lord. There is wasn't a day that when by were I wasn't in some bath house, S&M club or disco just filled with homers wagging their tight bottom in clingy leather and rubber. Did I ever succumb to Satan's trap? The very gates of Hell that open in those homer’s backsides! No! Jesus commanded my tallywacker to remain unmoved! The entire time I was in those places *I could fell His Holy hands upon me, protecting me! PRAISE HIM AGAIN! old

*Ummm, Bobby Joe? I saw some of that video footage from the club. I'm pretty sure that was the club bouncer. *snicker*

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

*Ummm, Bobby Joe? I saw some of that video footage from the club. I'm pretty sure that was the club bouncer. *snicker*

So what? It is clear to all who view it that my wedding tackle remained unmoved, as Jesus wants it! PRAISE!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

So what? It is clear to all who view it that my wedding tackle remained unmoved, as Jesus wants it! PRAISE!

And also clear that the same could not be said of the bouncer!