[lilith]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

So what? It is clear to all who view it that my wedding tackle remained unmoved, as Jesus wants it! PRAISE!

Well BJ,if you WANT to boast about the complete unresponsiveness of your wedding tackle,that's entirely up to you.

Although I think you'll find it was Landover's worst kept secret.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

According to you, aren't I headed that way (to 'hell') anyway? And their affection to them IS natural. To them, heterosexual sex is unnatural and something which would bring them only discomfort, no love or pleasure or joy.

That just proves that they are blinded by demons. To a cripple, being tipped out of their lazychair would be something which would "bring them only discomfort, no love or pleasure or joy." I suppose you think that means we shouldn't do that either.

Forcing them into a hetero relationship would be like forcing you into a homosexual relationship. How would you like that?

That is a false comparison. You might as well say "Introducing them to the glories of God's favourite Church would be like stripping away their freedom and scamming their money from them" or "forcing them to listen to one of Brother Love's excellent sermons would be like jamming a drill into their forehead and giving them a migraine." It is a false comparison, with no truth in it, and so we are not obliged to answer it.

In our society, anyone who watches people on the shower or toilet would be arrested for peeping-tom'ing. That kind of thing isn't legal and yes it is perverted! So if you worship a deity who glorifies murder, rape and perversion, what does that make you?
Heh...I don't need to answer that for you, the answer is, of course, blindingly obvious.

It is indeed. It makes us True Christians™, followers of the One True God, Jesus Christ, the Way, the Truth and the Light! Praise! Glory!

Well, the way you seem to dwell on demon sodomy and being touched all over by jesus seems to say you don't mind dude-on-dude action all that much.

Well, the way you seem to dwell on what Christians say, think and do seems to say you wouldn't mind becoming one all that much.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

That just proves that they are blinded by demons. To a cripple, being tipped out of their lazychair would be something which would "bring them only discomfort, no love or pleasure or joy." I suppose you think that means we shouldn't do that either.

Wow, what humanitarians you are. While you're at it, why not take their wallets? It'd save you trying to convert them to get to that same destination.

That is a false comparison. You might as well say "Introducing them to the glories of God's favourite Church would be like stripping away their freedom and scamming their money from them" or "forcing them to listen to one of Brother Love's excellent sermons would be like jamming a drill into their forehead and giving them a migraine." It is a false comparison, with no truth in it, and so we are not obliged to answer it.

Well seeing as you already answered it perfectly, there's no need to elaborate, really. I couldn't have given a better comparison myself.

It is indeed. It makes us True Christians™, followers of the One True God, Jesus Christ, the Way, the Truth and the Light! Praise! Glory!

In other words, it makes you vicious cold blooded and inhumane, which, of course, is a state of holiness to you, seeing as the deity you worship is just like that. Why not worship Vlad Dracul? Another vicious killer, except he actually existed.

Well, the way you seem to dwell on what Christians say, think and do seems to say you wouldn't mind becoming one all that much.

Umm, if it's all the same to you, I kinda like my brain and my bank account right where they are.

[TwinkBoy]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

I fear I MUST agree with Rachael once again on this matter. You people are so "caring" about others. Whatever happened to "love your NEIGHBOR AS you love YOURSELF?" Hmmm.....you True Christians must NOT really love yourself too much, hey?

Trrrust me....Brother Love's sermons ARE like drilling a hole in my little sweet TWINKIE head...and OMG what MIGRAINE I get!! Sorry, but I can only listen to so much HOLY ROLLING LUNACY.

"vicious cold blooded and inhumane"....BINGO!!....I could not have come up with better descriptions myself, Rachael.

[Brother Love]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

I fear I MUST agree with Rachael once again on this matter. You people are so "caring" about others. Whatever happened to "love your NEIGHBOR AS you love YOURSELF?" Hmmm.....you True Christians must NOT really love yourself too much, hey?

Trrrust me....Brother Love's sermons ARE like drilling a hole in my little sweet TWINKIE head...and OMG what MIGRAINE I get!! Sorry, but I can only listen to so much HOLY ROLLING LUNACY.

"vicious cold blooded and inhumane"....BINGO!!....I could not have come up with better descriptions myself, Rachael.

For you INFORMATION Twinkle Toes Boy, we DO love others (True Christians) as we love ourselves. Ya is referin' to the place in the Bible when Jesus was asked what the greatest command of God is. Jesus said that we is to love God with ever thing and love others as we love ourselves. Now Jesus was talkin 'bout the BRETHREN! He was NOT speakin' of lovin the SINNERS like YOU!! Now ya knows full well that we HATE THE SIN but NOT the SINNER (but in you case I ain't so sure bouts that cuz ya is beyond weird, boy).

I hopes my sermons ARE like ME drillin' a whole in you head Twinkie Boy! I wish I could get an electric drill and but my sermons on the end of it and drill into you head! Maybe that would knock some sense into the crazy mind of ya's! Maybe then ya mights SEE THE LIGHT of the LORD and TURN TO JESUSa!!

Now the Lord IS Love BUT to all ya SINNERS He is full of RIGHTEOUS VENGENCE! Don't like that idea and FACT then TURN TO JESUS!!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

Wow, what humanitarians you are. While you're at it, why not take their wallets? It'd save you trying to convert them to get to that same destination.

We are interested only in saving their souls. I'd be shocked to hear such cynicism spewing from your vile little mind, but I'd sadly acclimatized to it by now.

In other words, it makes you vicious cold blooded and inhumane, which, of course, is a state of holiness to you, seeing as the deity you worship is just like that. Why not worship Vlad Dracul? Another vicious killer, except he actually existed.

Whatever are you jabbering about now? Our God is a God of Love, and we walk in all His ways. God loved us so much that He sent His Son to die for us, just so that He could Save a tiny minority of the world's population, rather than having to condemn every single person who ever lived to eternal hellfire.

Umm, if it's all the same to you, I kinda like my brain and my bank account right where they are.

And do you think they will stay safe for eternity? Of course not! You'll be lucky if you can hang on to them for another few decades. Might as well hand your soul over to Jesus now, just to be on the safe side.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

We are interested only in saving their souls. I'd be shocked to hear such cynicism spewing from your vile little mind, but I'd sadly acclimatized to it by now.

Sure you are. And just how much does a person you 'save' have to tithe before you 'guarantee' them 'salvation'?

Whatever are you jabbering about now? Our God is a God of Love, and we walk in all His ways. God loved us so much that He sent His Son to die for us, just so that He could Save a tiny minority of the world's population, rather than having to condemn every single person who ever lived to eternal hellfire.

A GOD OF LOVE?????? BWAHAHAHAHA, what nonsense. Your book clearly states otherwise:

Jeremiah 48:10 10Cursed be he that doeth the work of the LORD deceitfully, and cursed be he that keepeth back his sword from blood.

Ezekiel 28:23 For I will send into her pestilence, and blood into her streets; and the wounded shall be judged in the midst of her by the sword upon her on every side; and they shall know that I am the LORD.

Ezekiel 35:7-9 7Thus will I make mount Seir most desolate, and cut off from it him that passeth out and him that returneth. 8And I will fill his mountains with his slain men: in thy hills, and in thy valleys, and in all thy rivers, shall they fall that are slain with the sword.
9I will make thee perpetual desolations, and thy cities shall not return: and ye shall know that I am the LORD.

And here's the winner:

Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.

This is a god of love? I think not!

And do you think they will stay safe for eternity? Of course not! You'll be lucky if you can hang on to them for another few decades. Might as well hand your soul over to Jesus now, just to be on the safe side.

Safe? A voluntary lobotomy and 60% drain on income is SAFE??

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

And here's the winner:

Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.

This is a god of love? I think not!

Rachael,

Can you not see The Lord's endless love here for humanity? Humanity is such an awful group of sinner and, for all His limiteless power and glory, God is still willing to make the effort to save the tiny few He can, even if it means destorying everyone else.

Love like that is hard to equal Rachael.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

Rachael,

Can you not see The Lord's endless love here for humanity? Humanity is such an awful group of sinner and, for all His limiteless power and glory, God is still willing to make the effort to save the tiny few He can, even if it means destorying everyone else.

Love like that is hard to equal Rachael.

Aw gee, I don't know. Hitler came pretty close to that kind of 'love'.
After all, he so loved the Aryan German race, which he saw as the chosen race, that he was willing to decimate all the ones he saw as 'inferior jews' in order to create what he saw the 'perfect race'.

And you forget, of course Godzilla. For Godzilla so loved fish than she/he was willing to sacrifice those people who might possibly pollute the water and/or the fish supply. (On that note, do you believe that your god might one day choose to eat you? Bwahaha!)

Yeah, that's love alright. <insert sarcasm>

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

On that note, do you believe that your god might one day choose to eat you?

I certainly hope so.
Revelation 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

Now, I've been accused of being a lot of things, but I don't think that I could honestly be called lukewarm. If I'm not, then the Lord will have no reason to spue me out of His divine mouth, so presumably He'll swallow me instead. PRAISE!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

I certainly hope so.
Revelation 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

Now, I've been accused of being a lot of things, but I don't think that I could honestly be called lukewarm. If I'm not, then the Lord will have no reason to spue me out of His divine mouth, so presumably He'll swallow me instead. PRAISE!

Hmm. I should have known you'd be interested as to whether your god spits or swallows.

So let me get this straight......your ideal of a heavenly afterlife is to spend eternity in a big STOMACH?
My, but you xtians grow ever stranger.

[TwinkBoy]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

Tis...Tis....Brother Temperance....trust me...you are HOTtttt and most certainly NOT lukewarm love....and OF COURSE his divine MOUTH will swallow YOU whole....oh WHAT a GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

Tis...Tis....Brother Temperance....trust me...you are HOTtttt and most certainly NOT lukewarm love....and OF COURSE his divine MOUTH will swallow YOU whole....oh WHAT a GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear friend. Please go immediately to the site of your impending murder and wait there until I tell you.

Thanks in advance
Pastor Al

[TwinkBoy]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

OHhhh....Pastor Al....

"Do ya really wanna hurt me...dadada...

Do ya really wanna make me cry.....??"

Ohhhh...ok....I'll waaait for you.....WHEREVER LOVE lolololol

Now...I know you are the BIG PIECE of "preacher cheese" here at the GOD BLESSEDdddd LBC...so can't we WORK this out? I mean....what's a "girl" to do when she's BORED and ROCKY'S OUT PLAYING THE FIELD? Hey, P-Al......why don't you come over for....well...."coffee and donuts" love? Perhaps we can talk and I'll "introduce" you to all my FRIENDS....lol.

Whata ya say BIG GUY? Oh...and you have my SOLEMN promise that I won't...ahhhh...SEDUCE YOU! LOLOLOLOLOLOL.......................BUT if I do....NO ONE will ever know....it'll be our little SECRET!!



Chow love,
Twink

[Jesus is Lord]

Re: Xmas Eve & Alone!!

Dear friend. Please go immediately to the site of your impending murder and wait there until I tell you.

Thanks in advance
Pastor Al

Murder? I thought the killing of a homer was not murder as the blood is on their own head, they killed themselves by choosing the homer deathstyle.

13If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.