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  • Rachael Van Helsing
    HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
    • Sep 2006
    • 5131

    #1

    Index page?

    Is anyone else unable to see the main index page? All that comes up is just a blank page.
    sigpic
    Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #2
    Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
    Is anyone else unable to see the main index page? All that comes up is just a blank page.
    Well well, aren't you using some big words for a girl!

    Just leave it to Jesus and us Pastors. We'll make those big bad demons go bye-bye....
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • Rachael Van Helsing
      HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
      • Sep 2006
      • 5131

      #3
      No need to be condescending, Zekey. Just pointing out the fact that there seems to be a little glitch.
      sigpic
      Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

      Comment

      • Pastor Ezekiel
        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 78556

        #4
        Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
        No need to be condescending, Zekey. Just pointing out the fact that there seems to be a little glitch.
        I agree, you should not be condescending in this Godly forum. Especially to a Pastor. Jesus hates a smart-mouth female, as you know.
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Pastor Al E Pistle
          Christ's Cōnsiliārius
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 9323

          #5
          Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
          Is anyone else unable to see the main index page? All that comes up is just a blank page.
          One of the reasons we chose this new software is it's automatic demon detection plug-in for which we are the exclusive Beta testers. the page comes up as before, but if your tithes have lapsed, you can't see it.
          Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
          "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
          Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


          Comment

          • Rachael Van Helsing
            HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
            • Sep 2006
            • 5131

            #6
            Well, there's no paypal button, Pastor, so if I were inclined to tithe it would seem I can't.
            sigpic
            Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

            Comment

            • Pastor Al E Pistle
              Christ's Cōnsiliārius
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 9323

              #7
              Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
              Well, there's no paypal button, Pastor, so if I were inclined to tithe it would seem I can't.
              Well there IS a subscription option in your user control panel.
              Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
              "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
              Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


              Comment

              • Rachael Van Helsing
                HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                • Sep 2006
                • 5131

                #8
                Why, so there is! But, I....uh...have to go and cook and do laundry.....right now!
                sigpic
                Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                Comment

                • Brother Temperance
                  Senior Usher
                  True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                  A very nice young man
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 15621

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                  No need to be condescending, Zekey. Just pointing out the fact that there seems to be a little glitch.
                  There is indeed a little glitch on these forums. We call it "Rachael."
                  O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                  God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                  Comment

                  • Talitha
                    Deaconess
                    Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2026
                    • 15118

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                    Why, so there is! But, I....uh...have to go and cook and do laundry.....right now!
                    You do all that for yourself?
                    I thought that stuff was just Negra work!
                    My, how the world is changing.

                    Tell me, how do you find the time to call in at the Nail Parlour or the Hair salon?

                    Sister Talitha

                    Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


                    HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
                    being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



                    Comment

                    • Brother Temperance
                      Senior Usher
                      True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                      A very nice young man
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 15621

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Sister Talitha View Post
                      You do all that for yourself?
                      I thought that stuff was just Negra work!
                      My, how the world is changing.

                      Tell me, how do you find the time to call in at the Nail Parlour or the Hair salon?
                      This is Van Helsing you're talking to here. Like most dutch lesbian communists, becoming a negro is actually an aspiration for her.
                      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                      Comment

                      • Rachael Van Helsing
                        HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 5131

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                        There is indeed a little glitch on these forums. We call it "Rachael."
                        I meant BESIDES me, silly. old

                        You do all that for yourself?
                        I thought that stuff was just Negra work!
                        My, how the world is changing.

                        Tell me, how do you find the time to call in at the Nail Parlour or the Hair salon?
                        It's either I or my husband and I prefer the way I do it.
                        As to the nail and beauty parlor, that's what my 2 free hours every 5th saturday are for, of course. old
                        sigpic
                        Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                        Comment

                        • Enobarbus
                          Professor of English Landover University
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 3496

                          #13
                          Van Helsing's unhealthy affect on our ads...

                          Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                          One of the reasons we chose this new software is it's automatic demon detection plug-in for which we are the exclusive Beta testers. the page comes up as before, but if your tithes have lapsed, you can't see it.
                          Did you know that that sinner Van Hellsinker is affecting our Google ads:

                          Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

                          Comment

                          • Pastor Al E Pistle
                            Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                             
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 9323

                            #14
                            Bahahahahaha.. That's what we get for letting Google serve us contextual advertising.
                            Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                            "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                            Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                            Comment

                            • Rachael Van Helsing
                              HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 5131

                              #15

                              Hahahaha!!!
                              Contextual ads, eh? I wonder what else will come up
                              sigpic
                              Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                              Comment

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