[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Index page?

Even if that were true, it would then mean all the US landover baptists would die, wouldn't it?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Index page?

Even if that were true, it would then mean all the US landover baptists would die, wouldn't it?

No. We have made plans.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Index page?

What? Make sure that they have a quicker and more merciful end?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Index page?

What? Make sure that they have a quicker and more merciful end?

No. We rented several thousand acres to the government during the cold war and they graciously built a self-contained underground city including a next-generation nuclear reactor sufficient to power us for a thousand years.

When they were using it, it was a first a Minuteman missile complex and later became the secret location for the President and Congress in the event of an emergency...in fact, it is the 'undisclosed location' where Dick Cheney spends his time practicing his shooting skills.

But when they moved out they gave us almost a hundred million dollars worth of spare parts........enough to keep the air and water inside clean for almost sixty more years.... and a full underground tank with 1.2 MILLION gallons of 120 octave avgas for our hummers, plus a tidy amount of Jet A for the Gulfstream.

We built condos out of the launch pads and connected them through indoor parks and beautiful crystal clear streams and waterfalls, brimming with trout and salmon so it's still a popular spot with our Republican government officials.

We planted corn over the whole complex so no infrared signature gets out. When the End comes, we will sit in air conditioned comfort watching the catlicks and mudslimes kill each other for the last cannister of breathable oxygen before they all die. If anyone is left, JESUS will lead us to Armageddon to turn the rivers red with the blood of the unbelievers.

With no people ruining breathing OUR oxygen and eating OUR food, the earth will repair itself is no time.

Then we will all live for a thousand years and go to heaven just before GOD destroys SATAN.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Index page?

No. We rented several thousand acres to the government during the cold war and they graciously built a self-contained underground city including a next-generation nuclear reactor.

When they were using it, it was a Minuteman missile complex, but when they moved out they gave us almost a hundred million dollars worth of spare parts........enough to keep the air and water inside clean for almost forty years.... and a full underground tank with 1.2 MILLION gallons of 120 octave avgas for our hummers, plus a tidy amount of Jet A for the Gulfstream.

We built condos out of the launch pads and connected them through indoor parks and beautiful crystal clear streams and waterfalls, brimming with trout and salmon.

We planted corn over the whole complex so no infrared signature gets out. When the End comes, we will sit in air conditioned comfort watching the catlicks and mudslimes kill each other for the last cannister of breathable oxygen before they all die. If anyone is left, JESUS will lead us to Armageddon to turn the rivers red with the blood of the unbelievers.

With no people ruining breathing OUR oxygen and eating OUR food, the earth will repair itself is no time.

Then we will all live for a thousand years and go to heaven just before GOD destroys SATAN.

Pastor Pistle, I thought this was a secret?????

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Index page?

Some of it is secret, like the fact that we have already reached our capacity, but the general details are available to give fence-sitters a reason to convert to TRUE CHRISTIANITY(TM).

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Index page?

Some of it is secret, like the fact that we have already reached our capacity, but the general details are available to give fence-sitters a reason to convert to TRUE CHRISTIANITY(TM).

You would think they would take comfort in the their sacrifice will help a better Christian than them. After all isn’t that what Jesus did when He died temporarily for us True Christians? Heck, we also have piles of bottles of the Cold War era happy pills so it is not like they are going to feel what happens to them when they are pushed out into that toxic cloud that will be coming. Sadly, most converted fence sitters are too selfish to look at that way. They get all whinny, complain a lot and we er they end up killing themselves.

Oh well, many are called but few are worthy.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Index page?

Remind me not to be stuck on a deserted island with any of you and a limited food supply

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Index page?

Remind me not to be stuck on a deserted island with any of you and a limited food supply

Once again Mrs. Von Gristle, you have fallen into SATAN'S trap and have us confused with the FALSE CHRISTIAN catlickers who are the cannibals of Christ. Catholicks falsely believe that they ACTUALLY EAT JESUS' FLESH AND BLOOD at a demonic ceremony from hell known as the eucharist. But obviously, JESUS doesn't have enough flesh and blood to let every filthy cannibal in the world munch a mouthful every day.

We TRUE CHRISTIANS(TM) Don't eat Christ Himself. We break bread and drink as JESUS said "in rememberance of me".

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Index page?

Like I was saying in another thread, certain parts of the KJV1611 seem to advocate both cannibalism and vampirism. Even Brother V provided quotes supporting this.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Index page?

Like I was saying in another thread, certain parts of the KJV1611 seem to advocate both cannibalism and vampirism. Even Brother V provided quotes supporting this.

I am glad to hear that you are gaining at least a modicum of understanding from the Word of God that we True Christians provide for you, out of love for Jesus. Try reading the entire Good Book, and opening your cold shriveled heart to Christ, who temporarily died for you.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Index page?

Like I was saying in another thread, certain parts of the KJV1611 seem to advocate both cannibalism and vampirism. Even Brother V provided quotes supporting this.

Piffle. Show me ONE of those words in the Bible.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Index page?

These are the quotes Brother V provided:

Revelation 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

Luke 22:19 And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me.

Luke 22:19 And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Index page?

These are the quotes Brother V provided:

Revelation 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

Luke 22:19 And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me.

Luke 22:19 And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me.

Go back and re-read my post about catlicks.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Index page?

I know what you mean, Pastor, however the KJV1611 leaves that open to interpretation, doesn't it?
It hints that such things are acceptable.

And can you truly deny that if you and I were stranded on a desert island with no source of food you would NOT consider me emergency rations?

Ok, rereading my last sentence I think I feel ill.....the words you, I and 'deserted island' should NEVER be put in the one sentence.......EVER....