[Wide-Open]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

Are you still mad at Rushdie? I mean, OK, he's not exactly skinny, but calling him a fat "wa" (translation from Farsi wouldn't pass the swear filter, but it rhymes with skiffle) was truly hurtful IMHO.

[Scheherazade]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

My, so many new inquiries.

How do Muslims feel about hunting animals for sport? How do you feel about hunting animals for sport?

It is frowned upon, but upon my immigration, I am sure I will have many opportunities to observe men hunt wild animals for the sport of it.

JESUS forgive me for being so crude. But is it true you folks use no toilet paper and use your left hand to wipe?

That is beyond disgusting to me. I don't want to say out loud on GOD'S Favorite Forum what I suspect you do.

Do your hands smell like dirty butthole?

There is a bit of a misconception about this. We actually use toilet paper for our wiping, but we perform the act with our left hands.

Of course, when you are poor, your family may often be without toilet paper, sadly. At these times we avoid eating what we refer to as "flowing foods".

So, how's the Hashish production in Iran?

I am afraid I have no such information on that, except the fact that one of my older brothers was a notorious dealer before his capture and execution.

Miss S, do many of your friends and relatives have jewelry you can borrow?

I must also wonder, if they do have jewelry you can borrow, what exactly would be the point of jewelry nobody can see, if you walk about dressed like a mummified Cher all the time. Isn't that uncomfortable and confining?

Yes, I should be able to borrow a sufficient amount of jewelry. While I often wear jewelry underneath my abaya, or robe, I may occasionally wear a necklace or bracelet outside, though it is somewhat risky.

I am used to wearing my abaya and niqab, or veil, but I do remove them at home. I have a photo of myself uncovered in my thread in the Singles forum.

Speaking of beheading...what do you do with all the heads? Do you stick them on spikes like they used to in the Tower of London?

No, our executioners throw them out into the desert.

Doesn't falafel cause you to be abundantly flatulent? In our country women never pass gas, Scheherry!

It may lead to the occasional release, but, for the most part, women here manage to completely eliminate their flatulence before it exits the body. We hold it in until it dissipates.

Why do your men end up with horrid, greasy beards that reek like a dead fish, rather the the thick, luscious work of art on the chinny chin chin of a True Christian™ man?

Muslim men here don't believe in shaving or trimming thier beard, and it tends to attract flies once bits of food have fallen into it.

Are you still mad at Rushdie?

I had at one point harbored feelings of anger and hatred towards him, but I have recently realized that my resentment was unfounded and unnecessary.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

How do Muslims feel about hunting animals for sport? How do you feel about hunting animals for sport?

How do you feel about hunting Muslims for sport?

[Scheherazade]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

How do you feel about hunting Muslims for sport?

I have been raised with teachings stating that one must not harm a fellow Muslim, but I suppose if the hunter is non-Muslim and the hunted Muslim has angered or offended the hunter somehow, then it is just.

[JennyD]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

I have been raised with teachings stating that one must not harm a fellow Muslim, but I suppose if the hunter is non-Muslim and the hunted Muslim has angered or offended the hunter somehow, then it is just.

Is the fact that the hunted denies Jesus' divinity sufficient justification?

Or should Godly men only hunt Muslims who actively try to convert people from Christianity, or Muslims who intend to explode on or near Americans?

[Eugene Hackwith]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

How do you feel about hunting Muslims for sport?

That is a tough question! I have a "live and let live" policy when it comes to other human beings' lives, unless I need to act in self-defense, of course. Canadian geese, however....that's a different story entirely.

I have been raised with teachings stating that one must not harm a fellow Muslim, but I suppose if the hunter is non-Muslim and the hunted Muslim has angered or offended the hunter somehow, then it is just.

Hmm...this makes sense too. Now I am conflicted.

[Scheherazade]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

Is the fact that the hunted denies Jesus' divinity sufficient justification?

Or should Godly men only hunt Muslims who actively try to convert people from Christianity, or Muslims who intend to explode on or near Americans?

A good question. On one hand, you spare the hunted so that he or she may repent, as I have chosen to do, but on the other hand, you leave them to plot an attack, if they wish.

All three reasons may likely be sufficient enough, but the circumstances could vary quite often, especially if the hunted was in a situation similar to my own.

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

Schshoo-whats-your-face...


Are there more women like you in your country who are willing to break their oppressing chains of Islam, and wishing to become an empty vessel for Jesus?

(Assuming your here to dump your past sinful lifestyle as well.)

[Scheherazade]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

Schshoo-whats-your-face...


Are there more women like you in your country who are willing to break their oppressing chains of Islam, and wishing to become an empty vessel for Jesus?

(Assuming your here to dump your past sinful lifestyle as well.)

(I assure you that I am.)

I am not entirely sure, as we tend to keep such a plan secret to avoid punishment, until we know we may safely announce it. I was able to state my plan for repentance to my family, and was met with neutrality from my siblings and mother, and threats from my father.

However, given the circumstances, I am sure that I may be able to inspire a cadre of women to follow me in my eventual salvation.

We can only hope.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

Is the fact that the hunted denies Jesus' divinity sufficient justification?

Or should Godly men only hunt Muslims who actively try to convert people from Christianity, or Muslims who intend to explode on or near Americans?

Are there any Muslims who don't intend to explode on or near Americans?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

Are there any Muslims who don't intend to explode on or near Americans?

Affirmative: there are Muslims who intend to explode on or near a Brit.

[SUV]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

Cheeses, what a muzz on you!

At least that's how I would have termed it before becoming $avED.

And quit winkin' at my Bethrothed, the Reverend Carlton Green - and that deelightful new Bro WO, too! (A standby never Hurts).

I say, don't do it! That's why you wear those masks: so that you can leer at our Mens! Emerods to you, God-less Hussy-Hussein-face!!!

[Scheherazade]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

Cheeses, what a muzz on you!

At least that's how I would have termed it before becoming $avED.

And quit winkin' at my Bethrothed, the Reverend Carlton Green - and that deelightful new Bro WO, too! (A standby never Hurts).

I say, don't do it! That's why you wear those masks: so that you can leer at our Mens! Emerods to you, God-less Hussy-Hussein-face!!!

Please, I meant no offense. I had no idea Mr. Wide was spoken for when he responded to my Singles ad.

I apologize, and hope I can be forgiven for my transgression.

[SUV]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

Please, I meant no offense. I had no idea Mr. Wide was spoken for when he responded to my Singles ad.

I apologize, and hope I can be forgiven for my transgression.

So! This is what we True Christians love best - Humility!

From others

Perhaps there is Hope for you yet, Sister. Tell us, now - what's Behind the Veil?

[Roberta]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

She is an absolutely lovely young lady but Pastor Bobby-Joe is trying to lure her into his bed of polygamous misadventure. If she escapes her ritual "humping" in Tehran, she certainly deserves more than a life of sorrow and deprivation.

I pray dear Scheherry will escape and be saved.