[Brother Temperance]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

I cannot refute the Godly Pastor Ezekiel's comments, so I am changing the subject in a vain attempt to draw attention away from the fact that I have just been OWNED by the power of Christ.

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

I hear that the Canucks make their wine from maypole syrup!! Ugh! I bet it freezes and sticks to the glass because it's sooooo cold up there!

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

... Bourbon is just American wine.

Much like "Stay The Coarse" and 'Well Clinton lied to Congress!"?


The most famous American Jewish wine is "I wanna go to Myyammy."

The best known Baptist wine is "We need more money from you right away!"


We Catholics appreciate wine both as a ceremonial element and as a normal part of a well balanced diet. Red is best of course. Jesus didn't have white blood...at least according to Mel Gibson.





Bless you, my bumpkin non-oenophiles.
Father Mo

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

Our Lord Jesus didn't INVENT wine, but he DID MAKE it.

You know, Pastor Al, something came to my mind thinking about this. The bible talks about how jesus made water into wine, but never once how he made wine into water.
Now it seems that the bible seems to talk about him drinking wine a lot, but if he never made water out of wine, only one logical conclusion can be drawn.

The bible is trying to say that jesus never took a whiz. (or urinated for the more politically correct)
*snicker*

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

You know, Pastor Al, something came to my mind thinking about this. The bible talks about how jesus made water into wine, but never once how he made wine into water.
Now it seems that the bible seems to talk about him drinking wine a lot, but if he never made water out of wine, only one logical conclusion can be drawn.

The bible is trying to say that jesus never took a whiz. (or urinated for the more politically correct)
*snicker*

YOU TART! JESUS WHIZZED PRODIGIOUSLY, ALL OVER PALESTINE! I will ban you forever if you ever dare say that He didn't!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

But Pastor Al, does the bible mention jesus whizzing? It doesn't seem to, but by saying that he never turned wine into water suggests...well.....the alternative.

If you can find a bible passage that quotes jesus whizzing, by all means post it and prove me wrong.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

But Pastor Al, does the bible mention jesus whizzing? It doesn't seem to, but by saying that he never turned wine into water suggests...well.....the alternative.

If you can find a bible passage that quotes jesus whizzing, by all means post it and prove me wrong.

MAY GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL! Of course JESUS WHIZZED! EVERYWHERE HE DID THERE IS A GODLY TREE, even unto this day!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

MAY GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL! Of course JESUS WHIZZED! EVERYWHERE HE DID THERE IS A GODLY TREE, even unto this day!

Soooo......in other words, the bible doesn't say even once that he whizzed, does it?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

Soooo......in other words, the bible doesn't say even once that he whizzed, does it?

WHY DO YOU WANT TO DISCUSS THE BOWEL MOVEMENTS OF OUR LORD JESUS, YOU SICK HARLOT?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

WHY DO YOU WANT TO DISCUSS THE BOWEL MOVEMENTS OF OUR LORD JESUS, YOU SICK HARLOT?

What bowel movements? Pastor Al, the bible never specifies that any such movements ever took place.
*snicker*

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

What bowel movements? Pastor Al, the bible never specifies that any such movements ever took place.
*snicker*

I can tell that you need to spend a LOT more time on your knees!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

You know, Pastor Al, something came to my mind thinking about this. The bible talks about how jesus made water into wine, but never once how he made wine into water.
Now it seems that the bible seems to talk about him drinking wine a lot, but if he never made water out of wine, only one logical conclusion can be drawn.

The bible is trying to say that jesus never took a whiz. (or urinated for the more politically correct)
*snicker*

You see, that's only a contradiction if you can't tell the difference between water and urine. Of course, being a Godless savage, you probably can't, but us civilised folk do tend to differentiate between water and urine.

[SUV]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

Well....if Baby Jesus is actually a snail/mollusk/Lilith, as current wisdom seems to imply, then "whizzing" and bowel movements are simply redundant, aren't they?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

I can tell that you need to spend a LOT more time on your knees!

Well, you know, Pastor, there is another possibility. Odds are, they didn't have metamucil back then....

You see, that's only a contradiction if you can't tell the difference between water and urine. Of course, being a Godless savage, you probably can't, but us civilised folk do tend to differentiate between water and urine.

'Passing water' is a commonly used phrase to describe passing urine. Not only that, but take the a urine sample back to a lab fro testing and tell me what you find one of the main components to be.

Well....if Baby Jesus is actually a snail/mollusk/Lilith, as current wisdom seems to imply, then "whizzing" and bowel movements are simply redundant, aren't they?

SUV makes an excellent point.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Bourbon, American, Baptist, so can I drink it???

'Passing water' is a commonly used phrase to describe passing urine. Not only that, but take the a urine sample back to a lab fro testing and tell me what you find one of the main components to be.

Funny you should mention it, since my team of researchers at Landover U. did extensive research on this last year..... It seems that the main component of urine is dead demons. They have completed their short-term missions to infect your body and have failed. However, if you let them build up, it can cause you much pain because, as we all know, there is strength in numbers. In fact, this is one of the best ways to tell how sinful a person is! Measure the amount of expelled demons per day, and you can tell how readily they are succumbing to the whisperings of Satan. In your case, I imagine that you expel nothing BUT demons, out of every orifice you have....