A second language

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

I recently had cause to spend some time in SE Asia - a little longer than I hoped due to a number of regrettable misundestandings - but it gave me an insight into the animalistic language of the Thai people.

With months of daily contact it is hard not to pick up the sounds associated with feeding, breeding, defecation and so on, despite the best efforts of a civilized Christian. I admit it did make life a little more interesting to be able to understand the world going on outside my cell.

I managed to negotiate a boat to Europe but technically still do not have a passport. Apparently I'm on some list now - quite by accident I'm sure.

I've been told I'm in France but it might as well be ancient Greece for the sense it makes. This leads to my question - friends, should I risk learning French and being able to surrender in many different varieties of ways? Or should I stick it out and not talk to anyone? What is the likelihood of Germany invading and the USA coming to the rescue in the next 2-3 years?

Thanks for all your help and advice.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: A second language

I cannot recommend that you or any Christian make an attempt to learn foreign languages. Anything that requires study can only serve satan, and reduce the time you should be studying the Holy Bible.

I myself am a polyglot, but only as a gift from God.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: A second language

I recently had cause to spend some time in SE Asia - a little longer than I hoped due to a number of regrettable misundestandings - but it gave me an insight into the animalistic language of the Thai people.

With months of daily contact it is hard not to pick up the sounds associated with feeding, breeding, defecation and so on, despite the best efforts of a civilized Christian. I admit it did make life a little more interesting to be able to understand the world going on outside my cell.

I managed to negotiate a boat to Europe but technically still do not have a passport. Apparently I'm on some list now - quite by accident I'm sure.

I've been told I'm in France but it might as well be ancient Greece for the sense it makes. This leads to my question - friends, should I risk learning French and being able to surrender in many different varieties of ways? Or should I stick it out and not talk to anyone? What is the likelihood of Germany invading and the USA coming to the rescue in the next 2-3 years?

Thanks for all your help and advice.

With some effort, you should be able to keister your KJV, to keep it from falling into enemy hands. Keep it secret...keep it safe! God be with you, sir!

[Alvin Moss]

Re: A second language

I recently had cause to spend some time in SE Asia - a little longer than I hoped due to a number of regrettable misundestandings - but it gave me an insight into the animalistic language of the Thai people.

With months of daily contact it is hard not to pick up the sounds associated with feeding, breeding, defecation and so on, despite the best efforts of a civilized Christian. I admit it did make life a little more interesting to be able to understand the world going on outside my cell.

I managed to negotiate a boat to Europe but technically still do not have a passport. Apparently I'm on some list now - quite by accident I'm sure.

I've been told I'm in France but it might as well be ancient Greece for the sense it makes. This leads to my question - friends, should I risk learning French and being able to surrender in many different varieties of ways? Or should I stick it out and not talk to anyone? What is the likelihood of Germany invading and the USA coming to the rescue in the next 2-3 years?

Thanks for all your help and advice.

This sounds like a fairly complex situation here, friend. I suppose the first question I would like to offer my advice on is whether you should learn French. No good has ever come from learning to speak French, so that is out of the question. The French are a vile people, hated throughout the world. They smell of snails and cheap tobacco. They are unwashed and usually in need of dental work. All ages, men, women and children, are drunk on wine most of the time. You would never want anyone to think you are French.


My second bit of advice is more practical, though you will have to act with dispatch. You must learn Mexican. It is the easiest language to learn to speak. There are only about twenty five words, like "donde esta la farmacia? All the rest is made up as you go. You point a lot and grunt, grimace and pull your hair, but that is easy. If you can get to the US, just tell the man with the uniform that you are from Mexico and he will give you money. Then, you can enter the US.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: A second language

A worrying situation, Brother. First things first:

This leads to my question - friends, should I risk learning French and being able to surrender in many different varieties of ways?

That's an easy one. No. If you ever need to speak to anyone, you will find that if you speak slowly, clearly and AT THE TOP OF YOUR VOICE then they will understand.

What is the likelihood of Germany invading and the USA coming to the rescue in the next 2-3 years?

The Germans are sadly not what they used to be, so I wouldn't count on it. If you can get yourself up to the north coast, then just give us a call and my husband will send one of his people over to pick you up. Or if it's a nice day, we might make a family outing of it.

I've PMed you with the sat-phone number. No passport? No problem! We can sort all that out when you get here.

[Des]

Re: A second language

If the Frogs can't understand you, speak louder and add an O to the ends of words.


P.S. I'm guessing Cambodia, the Philippines, or Thailand. While all three frown upon foreigners coming over to sample their wines, if you talk to the right people you can pick up several fine 12 year old never uncorked bottles without too much difficulty. If you run into complications due to their heathen languages misinterpreting what you mean by wine. A few thousand American dollar donation to the right bureaucrat should clear up the problem and get you off that stupid list and back to the vineyards in no time.

[ExGay Alex]

Re: A second language

I hear you about Thai. i was recently in Vietnam, and while English is a beautiful and poetic language, Vietnamese sounds like it is being forced from the speaker by crushing blows to the chest.

French is a pointless language. And besides, if God wanted us to speak the same language, he would not have created different ones at the Tower of Babel. It is a sin to speak a language other than the one God gave you EXCEPT if you are foreign, then you should learn to speak American, God's favorite language.

So no. sit tight and wait for a Frenchman who can speak American. It's the least they can do for you in appreciation for saving them from speaking German.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: A second language

P.S. I'm guessing Cambodia, the Philippines, or Thailand. While all three frown upon foreigners coming over to sample their wines, if you talk to the right people you can pick up several fine 12 year old never uncorked bottles without too much difficulty. If you run into complications due to their heathen languages misinterpreting what you mean by wine. A few thousand American dollar donation to the right bureaucrat should clear up the problem and get you off that stupid list and back to the vineyards in no time.

I prefer my wines a little younger usually... 6 to 8 is ideal. After that they become too full-bodied and the mouth-feel is sometimes slightly furry. There is also greater risk of cork taint.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: A second language

... should I risk learning French and being able to surrender in many different varieties of ways?

Your brain has a part given over to learning languages. At your age, it's mostly full. If you start learning some gibberish, then the new words will displace the old ones and you will find yourself unable to express the praise that you feel for the Lord: you will then be consigned to the bowels of the Pit of Eternal Flame.

I recommend that you do not experiment with another language. Anyway, if a Frenchman has anything worthwhile to say, he'll say it in American.