[Goose2]

Re: Just a question...

Pastor Billy Reuben, please, help me reach eternal salvation. I feel I am lost to a never-ending damnation in the fiery pits of Satan's home. This is a subject that has bothered me for quite some time. I've sinned everyday, but haven't gone to confession within a week; the last time I went to confession was a month ago, and I haven't been able to go because the church in which I attend is 10 miles away from me and I cannot drive. Please Pastor, you must help me! What can I do?

Like I previously said, I sinned everyday. Like today, I glanced at a female's breasts for only a second, but that second has earned me a place in Hell. I cannot help it though, whenever I see a slut in short, and I mean SHORT shorts, and the creases of her behind are perfectly outlined on her shorts, I always get a bit of a stiffy, or my devil stick in the mid-section of my body becomes solid and hard. I don't want it to, but it does. I cannot help it. Can anybody help??

[Osambo 08]

Re: Just a question...

Pastor Billy Reuben, please, help me reach eternal salvation. I feel I am lost to a never-ending damnation in the fiery pits of Satan's home. This is a subject that has bothered me for quite some time. I've sinned everyday, but haven't gone to confession within a week; the last time I went to confession was a month ago, and I haven't been able to go because the church in which I attend is 10 miles away from me and I cannot drive. Please Pastor, you must help me! What can I do?

Like I previously said, I sinned everyday. Like today, I glanced at a female's breasts for only a second, but that second has earned me a place in Hell. I cannot help it though, whenever I see a slut in short, and I mean SHORT shorts, and the creases of her behind are perfectly outlined on her shorts, I always get a bit of a stiffy, or my devil stick in the mid-section of my body becomes solid and hard. I don't want it to, but it does. I cannot help it. Can anybody help??

Why are you asking advice to a guy who supports John McBush

[Goose2]

Re: Just a question...

BECAUSE DUDE, I NEED MY ERECTIONS TO STOP. I AM CURRENTLY BEING TURNED ON BY A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. THIS ISN'T NORMAL AND IS SINFUL.

[Osambo 08]

Re: Just a question...

BECAUSE DUDE, I NEED MY ERECTIONS TO STOP. I AM CURRENTLY BEING TURNED ON BY A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. THIS ISN'T NORMAL AND IS SINFUL.

Chop your penis ,then perform vasectomy .Also block your anus with the Bible

[Goose2]

Re: Just a question...

ARGH

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Just a question...

[...] Like today, I glanced at a female's breasts for only a second, but that second has earned me a place in Hell. [...] Can anybody help??

Have you thought of introducing yourself to the young lady's father and expressing the hope that he would allow you to walk out with her (properly chaperoned)?

[Syntax]

Re: Just a question...

What is Christian?
I'm not sure how far you closed-minding people have stretched this word out, but Christian, is, in literal sense, recognizing that Christ was our savior. In being Catholic, I recognize this.

Hypocrites
I'm fed up with this! I called a pastor an internet noob for good reason. I was then penalized with a stupid private message. Why can the same pastor insult me and get away with it? Hypocrital. And you know what hypocrits get, right pastors? ETERNAL DAMNATION. You guys better start repenting.

Private messages
Quit with the private messages please, you penalized me for not capitalizing the word "God"....omG. how's that? Quit being so picky and closed minded. The origin of this topic was your satanic ads. I don't know what this site is all about, I just joined, but I can assure you NO, I repeat NO christian values are withheld. I get more christian values and morals from satan worshipping sites. Porn has more morals than this site. At least they aren't hypocrital. They tell you there is a cumshot picture available, you look at it, it's there. NO lies found there.

The Pastors
You guys are so cool. Am i right? WRONG! You are completley hypocritcal and I doubt any of you are actually pastors because of your ignorant upholding of christian values. You call yourselves christian and pretend to be somewhat intelligent and Christ serving, but, I can not see it.

Pwnt
I know you'll just respond with this with either banishment or a nasty private message, or even calling me a papist or some other term that furthers your hypocracy. But, guess what, while I surf the net in-style having fun and upholding my christian values, you guys will be rotting in hell for all of your lies and hypocracy from this God-forsaken forum. pz out noobs.

[footless_worm]

Re: Just a question...

This is to Pastor Ezekiel you signiture bothers me it seems that you belive quite a bit of people will be damned for in my opinion very small mediocre things dont you think thats kinda ridiculous god loves everyone doesnt he and isnt this supposedly aa tollerant religion. hmm i dont know it just seems to me that such a powerful being like god wouldnt be so petty to deem people damned for such things as homosexuality,hypocrites, fornicators ect. and especially the envious now thats just retarded .

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Just a question...

This is a subject that has bothered me for quite some time. I've sinned everyday, but haven't gone to confession within a week; the last time I went to confession was a month ago

Well that's a good start. How anyone could be tricked into thinking that you get into Heaven by sitting in a dark closet and whispering the sordid details of all their sins to a pervert in a dress is beyond me.

If you have sins, confess them directly to Jesus. You don't have to go through some intermediary.

Like I previously said, I sinned everyday. Like today, I glanced at a female's breasts for only a second, but that second has earned me a place in Hell. I cannot help it though, whenever I see a slut in short, and I mean SHORT shorts, and the creases of her behind are perfectly outlined on her shorts, I always get a bit of a *expletive deleted*, or my devil stick in the mid-section of my body becomes solid and hard. I don't want it to, but it does. I cannot help it. Can anybody help??

Jesus can help, friend. It sounds like you have already accomplished the first step in the Plan of Salvation(tm), so you are ahead of 90% of the unsaved trash out there.

Here is a link to the plan of salvation.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Just a question...

This is to Pastor Ezekiel you signiture bothers me it seems that you belive quite a bit of people will be damned for in my opinion very small mediocre things dont you think thats kinda ridiculous god loves everyone doesnt he and isnt this supposedly aa tollerant religion. hmm i dont know it just seems to me that such a powerful being like god wouldnt be so petty to deem people damned for such things as homosexuality,hypocrites, fornicators ect. and especially the envious now thats just retarded .

The point of it is that we ALL deserve eternal damnation.

The difference between you and me is that I have agreed to give up my sin and follow Jesus. When I did that, Jesus washed away all of my sins with His blood, and now all of my sin is gone. The Holy Spirit lives inside of me now and shields me against temptation, so I no longer desire to sin. Now I am fit to be in the presence of the Lord when He calls me home.

That sounds pretty good, doesn't it? The same offer is available to you too, friend. Scroll up just a post or two, and you will see where I posted a link to the Plan of Salvation(tm)

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Just a question...

This is to Pastor Ezekiel you signiture bothers me it seems that you belive quite a bit of people will be damned for in my opinion very small mediocre things dont you think thats kinda ridiculous god loves everyone doesnt he and isnt this supposedly aa tollerant religion. hmm i dont know it just seems to me that such a powerful being like god wouldnt be so petty to deem people damned for such things as homosexuality,hypocrites, fornicators ect. and especially the envious now thats just retarded .

Believe me pal, it isn`t up to me who gets condemned to eternal damnation. It`s up to Jesus! I`m not surprised that you take exception to the scripture I posted in my signature. Before I was Saved(c) it made me squirm too!

If you don`t like God`s lists, then your argument is with Him, not me. The word "tolerant" doesn`t appear anywhere in the Bible.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Just a question...

This question has been answered 1,000 times already. The advertisements you see are individualized by Google based on your personal surfing habits. All I see are ads for Pastoral cheatsheets and church supplies.

Since you are a mary worshiping papist, that satanic ad is right for you.

I'm a bit embarrassed, because even I didn't know our Google's marketing techniques. I keep getting ads for sewing machines and convection ovens. I guess it makes sense now. Thanks, pastor Zeke!

PS I assume someone who gets those ads for Satanic Jewelry might have a Prince Albert on his choo choo?

[footless_worm]

Re: Just a question...

If you don`t like God`s lists, then your argument is with Him, not me. The word "tolerant" doesn`t appear anywhere in the Bible.

so you admitting your not tollerant and a filthy inhuman pig?
inhuman in the sence that you use a scapegoat like religion to justify actions like unreasonably hating homosexuals for absolutely no other reason other than they are different than you but then i gues thats not really inhuman weve been doing it since the beggining of time we justified the crusades didnt we the pope actually gave the orders and do you also thing that god justifys having black people as slaves cause most people did back about 100 years ago

[Osambo 08]

Re: Just a question...

Believe me pal, it isn`t up to me who gets condemned to eternal damnation. It`s up to Jesus! I`m not surprised that you take exception to the scripture I posted in my signature. Before I was Saved© it made me squirm too!

If you don`t like God`s lists, then your argument is with Him, not me. The word "tolerant" doesn`t appear anywhere in the Bible.

I stopped reading your signature after your Re-elect George Bush image .How could someone take you seriously if you support a guy who perpetually lies ,tarnished our global image,and consciously destroyed the economy?


And one of the administrators gave me an infraction for something I've never said..

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Just a question...

Google Adsense
All right, don't take my world for it, go to http://www.google.com/adsense and read all about it!

You still didn't answer my question. What DOES Google do with the cookie they write and monitor every time you visit a site with Google AdSense? Why do I sometimes see Google ads that are completely unrelated to the page I'm on, but are very closely related other sites I have visited?

Why do you assume that Google is going to list each and every one of their trade secrets on a FAQ about AdSense?

What is Christian?
I'm not sure how far you closed-minding people have stretched this word out, but Christian, is, in literal sense, recognizing that Christ was our savior. In being Catholic, I recognize this.

Satan recognizes this too. Does that make him a Christian. There's a lot more to being a Christian than just believing obvious facts. Being a Christian means you stop sinning, accept Christ as your Lord, and do God's will rather than your own.

Hypocrites
I'm fed up with this! I called a pastor an internet noob for good reason. I was then penalized with a stupid private message. Why can the same pastor insult me and get away with it? Hypocrital. And you know what hypocrits get, right pastors? ETERNAL DAMNATION. You guys better start repenting.

You seem to be throwing words around without really understanding what they mean. A hypocrite is a person who advocates one thing, but does the opposite. For example, person who states that casting judgment is wrong, and then immediately begins casting judgment, would be a hypocrite. Does that sound familiar?

Private messages
Quit with the private messages please,

When you receive an infraction for not abiding by the rules that you agreed to when you signed up for this forum, would you rather not be made aware of it? Those points add up, and when you get enough of them, the system bans you.

They tell you there is a cumshot picture available, you look at it, it's there. NO lies found there.

I wouldn't know anything about that. Why would a saved Christian who loves the Lord be looking for 'cumshot' pictures?

Pwnt

Football analogy? Well I guess now is as good of a time as any for you to punt.

Pastor Billy-Reuben