Dear Auntie Annie is Back to Help

[Johny Joe Hold]

Our favorite Freehold and LBC lady, Mrs. Annie Anderson, hailed me on the sidewalk yesterday. She writes a helpful column that appears around the country and once in a while here. She said, "Mayor, I had a special letter the other day. Could you publish it on the Church site along with my advice?" I can never turn this lady down:

Dear Auntie Annie: I am so disturbed about something and don't know where to turn. Could you help me?

I am a young woman and my father died unexpectedly. You can imagine the grief that overcame me. In my struggles it occurred to me my pastor could perhaps help.

He was so nice. We sat on a large couch in his office and he listened. Then he held my hand and I got a very warm feeling. Then, however, other things happened I do not want to discuss with anyone. I am so ashamed. I feel dirty. Please help me deal with all of this.

Feeling Unclean

Dear Unclean: I sympathize with those two experiences, the death of your father and an attractive preacher. Let's sort through all of it and try to determine the right thing to do.

It is most important that you focus not on yourself but on others. This will help you put aside the personal feelings of low self esteem you are suffering.

My advice is to think of your preacher's needs and how you can help him be happy. Preachers live under a microscope and often become discouraged and forlorn. In finding happiness for your preacher you will find it for yourself.

All the best.
Auntie Annie

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Dear Auntie Annie is Back to Help

I'm not "Aunt Annie" by any means, but the gist of this young woman's problem seems to be

We sat on a large couch in his office and he listened. [the part she does not ask about omitted] I feel dirty.

Now I sympathize with anyone who has had to sit on a dirty couch. The feeling is similar to that experienced in public bathrooms when the seat is still warm... but I digress.

We all know how easy it is to allow one's consulting couch to become dirty - we are there every day and, well, the dirt just builds up without our noticing it, doesn't it?

I suggest a good upholstery cleaner, such as Resolve.

At those prices, the young woman could afford to send the Pastor a bottle anonymously.