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He he won't (ahem) he just doesn't understand that God can cure him or his personality disorder. He's not like the other baptist children, he's kinda a loner, he's never been laid, or abused drugs, or killed a terrorist. I'm at the end of his rope.
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Re: I fear my son is possessed by legion
God, know's I've tried, but he's convinced he'll just end up a fatass like his old man.Comment
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Re: I fear my son is possessed by legion
You're married? Well congratulations! Do you have any other children? What is your wife's favorite pie to bake?sigpic
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!Comment
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Re: I fear my son is possessed by legion
Well, we're eating government cheese at the moment so cheese pie I guessComment
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Re: I fear my son is possessed by legion
Excuse me, my son just spilt juicy juice all over our trailer, I must administer some religious threats, I will return momentarily
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Re: I fear my son is possessed by legion
Wouldn't that be a pizza?Originally posted by white man's messiah View PostAttached Filessigpic
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!Comment
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Re: I fear my son is possessed by legion
I am shocked that you have a child. I had assumed that you were posting from some institution.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: I fear my son is possessed by legion
A find a good way to exorcise demons is to belt someone's body with an extra-large KJV until they start begging for mercy. This usually makes the demon host complient to your every demand.Comment
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Re: I fear my son is possessed by legion
Do you have any swine? Swine are pretty much essential.sigpic
Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
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Re: I fear my son is possessed by legion
And a lake, you need a lake too.Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Postsigpic
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!Comment
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Re: I fear my son is possessed by legion
I have dealt with these Paranoid Schizophrenics before. I believe that the child is simply a metaphysical creation in WMM's twisted mind that he has made to express some dark part of himself, probably the mad bit. Fear not! All his problems come from a demon lodged in his brain. Pastor Zeke, pass me the hand drill!BEHOLD!!!
THE BUS TO DAMNATION!
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May Jesus guide this Bus off a cliff and STRAIGHT TO HELL!
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