I have been afflicted!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Brothers and Sisters at Landover, I have been sore afflicted by the Lord. Like Job, I am smitten with a boil! I have been forced to have it lanced. I will spare you the details.

Could the Lord be angry with me for suggesting Delete a Quran Day, because it doesn't reduce the number of Qurans in the world?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: I have been afflicted!

Brothers and Sisters at Landover, I have been sore afflicted by the Lord. Like Job, I am smitten with a boil! I have been forced to have it lanced. I will spare you the details.

Could the Lord be angry with me for suggesting Delete a Quran Day, because it doesn't reduce the number of Qurans in the world?

It might be because we haven't deleted enough of the Revered. Jesus expects big numbers so I will put a forth computer up printing Korans out.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I have been afflicted!

It might be because we haven't deleted enough of the Revered. Jesus expects big numbers so I will put a fourth computer up printing Korans out.

Thanks, Bobby-Joe!

Hurry up, it hurts!!

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I have been afflicted!

Thanks, Bobby-Joe!

Hurry up, it hurts!!

could your problem be that you started on 9/10? Maybe your affliction is to remind you not to stop until you accomplish what you promised.I guess if everything is cleared up by the 12th we will have the answer.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I have been afflicted!

could your problem be that you started on 9/10? Maybe your affliction is to remind you not to stop until you accomplish what you promised.I guess if everything is cleared up by the 12th we will have the answer.

I will have to continue it through midnight on the 12th, then!

I hope the Lord isn't angry that I went to a doctor. In spite of the antibiotics my temperature is rising!

[HTannor]

Re: I have been afflicted!

As soon as I heard you weren't going to be at the fund raiser, I decided then and there to rush to your side.

Even though you were clearly in pain, it was most gracious of you to allow us to come in.

Skippy was very upset about your condition and showed his concern by gently humping hugging your ear. He is a lovable little devil, isn't he.

I secretly snapped a photo with my cell phone. It's not exactly Nikon quality, but nevertheless, a nice little memento of our visit.




Perhaps you can have it framed and hang it over your fireplace.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I have been afflicted!

As soon as I heard you weren't going to be at the fund raiser, I decided then and there to rush to your side.

My housekeeper, Rosa, raised an important question after you left.

"Meester Reverend," she said (that's what she calls me), "I thought you say trailer man at party in Iowa tonight. How he get to Indiana from party in same night? Ees monkey demon and use witchcraft? Ees him BRUJO?"

Being feverish at the time (101.4 at the time of your arrival, as I recall), it didn't occur to me to question how you got from the Dewitt estate in Freehold to North Salem, Indiana in what appears to be less than an hour. It takes longer than that to drive to the nearest airport . . .

[HTannor]

Re: I have been afflicted!

Private Message to Rev. Rodimer.
No others should read this

I was afraid this was going to come up, so let's just keep it under the radar, okay?

When I heard the rumor you weren't feeling well, I contacted my twin brother, GTannor, who lives in your area, and explained what I needed.

He quickly agreed to take off some time from his highly lucrative career as an organ grinder on the streets of Indianapolis. He grabbed Pippy, his monkey, and off they went.

So, now you know, and I am at your mercy to protect my little secret. I haven't told anyone else about my brother, because, frankly, he isn't as fastidious in his appearance as I am. I suppose, by extension that could apply to Pippy, as well.

Pippy is really in rather good health, but, uh.............have you noticed any itching in your ear?

Since there's an animal involved, you might consider consulting a vet clinic as they are usually well stocked on various powders, medicated collars, and the like.

Send the bill to me.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I have been afflicted!

May I add, Praise the Lord for . . . what is it . . . "Hydrocodone"!

Wonderful stuff, I must say! Makes the room day just fly by!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I have been afflicted!

May I add, Praise the Lord for . . . what is it . . . "Hydrocodone"!

Wonderful stuff, I must say! Makes the room day just fly by!

Seems the brand name is "Vicodin". I understand why all the teenagers wanted the leftovers!

Glad to have it, as the Lord is still taking out His wrath upon me. Maybe the Lord didn't consider deleting virtual Korans to be adequate, and that is why the swelling and pain have increased.

Back to the doctor tomorrow, before I

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I have been afflicted!

Seems the brand name is "Vicodin". I understand why all the teenagers wanted the leftovers!

Glad to have it, as the Lord is still taking out His wrath upon me. Maybe the Lord didn't consider deleting virtual Korans to be adequate, and that is why the swelling and pain have increased.

Back to the doctor tomorrow, before I

This might not be a simple Boil,It could be demon affliction, have you tried the video Reverend Jim made for just such emergencies. I do not know where you are afflicted but you need to get it as close to the screen as possible and then turn on the video message.
I can say it worked for me with a certain area swelling after driving long distances.I only use my inflatable donut on rare occasions these days.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: I have been afflicted!

I'm sure that a man as Godly and wise as yourself will already have done the obvious thing and made golden images of your boils, as advised in 1 Samuel 6?

Also, does anyone know what to do with the golden emerods after you've made them? Is it acceptable to flog them to negroes as fresh new bling, or would that offend God somehow?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I have been afflicted!

I'm sure that a man as Godly and wise as yourself will already have done the obvious thing and made golden images of your boils, as advised in 1 Samuel 6?

no, I hadn't thought of that!

Also, does anyone know what to do with the golden emerods after you've made them? Is it acceptable to flog them to negroes as fresh new bling, or would that offend God somehow?

I can't imagine God being offended by flogging Negroes, Brother!

[its_faith]

Re: I have been afflicted!

Shouldnt you go to a pastor to have it healed?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I have been afflicted!

Shouldnt you go to a pastor to have it healed?

I went to one today!

He blessed a bottle of plain clear water in Jesus' name, then injected some into the demon infestation with a needle. Oh, how it burned! But only for a moment. Suddenly, the pain of the demons faded away to nothing. I didn't even feel it when he inserted a miniature Sword of Jesus' Mouth, carving an opening. I certainly did notice when he squeezed the demons out! They did NOT go easily!

Praise the Lord, I am HEALED!*


*with the exception of the incision, which has to be soaked several times a day while I thank God for delivering me from the multiple "Pocket Demons" that kept me from Freehold this weekend, and allowed to drain until God chooses to heal it from the inside out. Oh, and I have pills I have to take. Not taking the pills because God will heal me is tempting the Lord, which the Bible expressly forbids!