I have a Cold - Please help!

[Halleluyah Rob]

This is dire, my brothers and Sisters. I'm not sure if I've offended the Lord; but I've contracted a sickness known as the common cold.

I've read my KJV, and I've seen it over and over again; sickness is always a punishment.

2 Samuel 12:15 - And Nathan departed unto his house. And the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife bare unto David, and it was very sick

2 Chronicles 21:12-15- And there came a writing to him from Elijah the prophet, saying, Thus saith the LORD God of David thy father, Because thou hast not walked in the ways of Jehoshaphat thy father, nor in the ways of Asa king of Judah, but hast walked in the way of the kings of Israel, and hast made Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem to go a whoring, like to the whoredoms of the house of Ahab, and also hast slain thy brethren of thy father's house, which were better than thyself: Behold, with a great plague will the LORD smite thy people, and thy children, and thy wives, and all thy goods: And thou shalt have great sickness by disease of thy bowels, until thy bowels fall out by reason of the sickness day by day.




How may I reverse this punishment laid upon me?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I have a Cold - Please help!

What sin have you committed, Rob?

[BelieverInGod]

Re: I have a Cold - Please help!

I blew this up and put it in both my boys room.

[James Dewitt]

Re: I have a Cold - Please help!

This is dire, my brothers and Sisters. I'm not sure if I've offended the Lord; but I've contracted a sickness known as the common cold.

I've read my KJV, and I've seen it over and over again; sickness is always a punishment.

2 Samuel 12:15 - And Nathan departed unto his house. And the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife bare unto David, and it was very sick

2 Chronicles 21:12-15- And there came a writing to him from Elijah the prophet, saying, Thus saith the LORD God of David thy father, Because thou hast not walked in the ways of Jehoshaphat thy father, nor in the ways of Asa king of Judah, but hast walked in the way of the kings of Israel, and hast made Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem to go a whoring, like to the whoredoms of the house of Ahab, and also hast slain thy brethren of thy father's house, which were better than thyself: Behold, with a great plague will the LORD smite thy people, and thy children, and thy wives, and all thy goods: And thou shalt have great sickness by disease of thy bowels, until thy bowels fall out by reason of the sickness day by day.




How may I reverse this punishment laid upon me?

Robby boy, you haven't been ministering to the Homers again have you?

[James Hutchins]

Re: I have a Cold - Please help!

This is dire, my brothers and Sisters. I'm not sure if I've offended the Lord; but I've contracted a sickness known as the common cold.

I've read my KJV, and I've seen it over and over again; sickness is always a punishment.

2 Samuel 12:15 - And Nathan departed unto his house. And the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife bare unto David, and it was very sick

2 Chronicles 21:12-15- And there came a writing to him from Elijah the prophet, saying, Thus saith the LORD God of David thy father, Because thou hast not walked in the ways of Jehoshaphat thy father, nor in the ways of Asa king of Judah, but hast walked in the way of the kings of Israel, and hast made Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem to go a whoring, like to the whoredoms of the house of Ahab, and also hast slain thy brethren of thy father's house, which were better than thyself: Behold, with a great plague will the LORD smite thy people, and thy children, and thy wives, and all thy goods: And thou shalt have great sickness by disease of thy bowels, until thy bowels fall out by reason of the sickness day by day.




How may I reverse this punishment laid upon me?

My family will stop their Thanksgiving festivities and will cancel the Turkey shoot to instead pray for Jesus you remove the sickness from your bowels and to cleanse your rectum with the love of God. Praise Jesus!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I have a Cold - Please help!

I blew this up and put it in both my boys room.

Sister, while the words are accurate, the picture suggests that this girl is being punished for being a blithering idiot who walks up to a beehive and whacks it with a stick.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: I have a Cold - Please help!

Sister, while the words are accurate, the picture suggests that this girl is being punished for being a blithering idiot who walks up to a beehive and whacks it with a stick.

And Eve cursed us all for taking the word of a talking snake. God punishes the stupidly sinful.

[Halleluyah Rob]

Re: I have a Cold - Please help!

After hours of prayerful reflection, I think I now understand why Jesus gave me the cold in his loving wrath..

I beat my son with a paddle instead of a rod. The Bible specifically calls for a rod; Jesus has my deepest apologies.


Proverbs 13:24 - He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Proverbs 22:15 -Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him

Robby boy, you haven't been ministering to the Homers again have you?

And no. That was so very long ago..

[James Dewitt]

Re: I have a Cold - Please help!

After hours of prayerful reflection, I think I now understand why Jesus gave me the cold in his loving wrath..

I beat my son with a paddle instead of a rod. The Bible specifically calls for a rod; Jesus has my deepest apologies.


Proverbs 13:24 - He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Proverbs 22:15 -Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him

Tomorrow is another day, beat the boy twice.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: I have a Cold - Please help!

Brother Rob, on the off chance it's a "bug" you've got and not God™s wrath, I am coming over shortly to make sure you have a long, very hot bath, to wrap you in warm flannels, to make sure you are properly hydrated and to minister to your aching limbs.

We must think of a way to draw the sickness out of you, somehow.

(Medicinal "spirits," as they were called in the Olde Days, can help. Do you think you could keep down brandy, warm elderberry wine, or hot buttered rum? I have some of each in the cellar, and can bring them.)

[James Dewitt]

Re: I have a Cold - Please help!

Brother Rob, on the off chance it's a "bug" you've got and not God™s wrath, I am coming over shortly to make sure you have a long, very hot bath, to wrap you in warm flannels, to make sure you are properly hydrated and to minister to your aching limbs.

We must think of a way to draw the sickness out of you, somehow.

(Medicinal "spirits," as they were called in the Olde Days, can help. Do you think you could keep down brandy, warm elderberry wine, or hot buttered rum? I have some of each in the cellar, and can bring them.)

Umm Sister, I have a bit of the sniffles myself. Could you possible come by, I will leave a light on.

[Nobar King]

Re: I have a Cold - Please help!

I started feeling a cold coming on during Thanksgiving dinner! Of all the times! Anyway, I'll say a prayer for you if you will reciprocate one in my direction. I'd like to be better by Sunday, thanks.

[Cindy Lou Jenkins]

Re: I have a Cold - Please help!

I remember once, before I met my husband Billy Bob, when I was living with my parents, and they left me home alone one night, I accidentally went to sleep having forgotten to say my prayers. Needless to say I woke up in the morning with the AIDS virus. Thankfully, it went away as soon as I hit my knees and said my prayers for the night before.

(Billy Bob: I approve this post.)

[Halleluyah Rob]

Re: I have a Cold - Please help!

Brother Rob, on the off chance it's a "bug" you've got and not God™s wrath, I am coming over shortly to make sure you have a long, very hot bath, to wrap you in warm flannels, to make sure you are properly hydrated and to minister to your aching limbs.

We must think of a way to draw the sickness out of you, somehow.

(Medicinal "spirits," as they were called in the Olde Days, can help. Do you think you could keep down brandy, warm elderberry wine, or hot buttered rum? I have some of each in the cellar, and can bring them.)

Oh Cookie you sure are a doll. That's what I call True Christian™ womanly hospitality!

To be safe, you should bring some flannels and drinks for yourself; in the unlikely chance that you contract the sickness yourself.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: I have a Cold - Please help!

I took pity on your awful situation. Please do not underestimate it, you more than likely have "Man 'Flu" This is one of the most debilitating illnesses that can attack humankind. It is not at all like the "sniffles" that women get.

I asked Mrs Bathfire for a family cure, she pointed me to this internet site, Yes, I know that the following mentions "sniffles" but that is what women, who are unsymathetic and unversed in medical matters term "Man 'Flu"

1. Wet socks for sniffles:

To clear congestion when you have a cold, first warm your feet in hot water, then soak a thin pair of socks in cold water, wring them out and put them on. Put a pair of thick, dry socks over the wet ones and go to bed. According to 1,001 Home Remedies (Reader's Digest), the wet socks help draw blood to your feet, thereby boosting circulation, which helps clear congestion."

I can say that this seems firmly based in science as a Christian would understand the term. Drawing blood to the feet is essential unless you accept the deluded rantings of Sir William Harvey of Kent, England, who postulated a Circulatory system!