Does the Lord give the English teeth?

[Wide-Open]

I've been wondering about this all night (couldn't sleep).

As we all know, most English persons don't have any teeth left. So I wondered: as God tosses them in hell at the end of their pathetic life, does he quickly provide them with a new set of teeth?

Why do you wonder, I hear you ask... Well, Matthew states:

Matthew 13:42
They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Sure, those whiney Brits will be perfectly able to weep without Divine help, but how would they be able to gnash their teeth?

I mean, with just gums, you can't gnash. You'd go "fumb fumb" where you'd expect a decent GNASH GNASH!

Can you imagine hearing "fumb fumb" all day?

That would make a mockery of hell, and I can't believe the Lord would allow those Albions to do so.

Hence my question.

[Herr_Doktor Phd.]

Re: Does the Lord give the English teeth?

I've been wondering about this all night (couldn't sleep).

As we all know, most English persons don't have any teeth left. So I wondered: as God tosses them in hell at the end of their pathetic life, does he quickly provide them with a new set of teeth?

Why do you wonder, I hear you ask... Well, Matthew states:

Matthew 13:42
They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Sure, those whiney Brits will be perfectly able to weep without Divine help, but how would they be able to gnash their teeth?

I mean, with just gums, you can't gnash. You'd go "fumb fumb" where you'd expect a decent GNASH GNASH!

Can you imagine hearing "fumb fumb" all day?

That would make a mockery of hell, and I can't believe the Lord would allow those Albions to do so.

Hence my question.

My experience with English people apart from geriatrics is that they still have some teeth left. You can still gnash two teeth together, right?

But in the case of the geriatrics, you may indeed have a point brother. Maybe they are allowed to use their falsies in Hell.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Does the Lord give the English teeth?

God clearly hates England. He has seen fit to deprive them of both teeth and testicles.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Does the Lord give the English teeth?

I've been wondering about this all night (couldn't sleep).

As we all know, most English persons don't have any teeth left. So I wondered: as God tosses them in hell at the end of their pathetic life, does he quickly provide them with a new set of teeth?

Why do you wonder, I hear you ask... Well, Matthew states:

Matthew 13:42
They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Sure, those whiney Brits will be perfectly able to weep without Divine help, but how would they be able to gnash their teeth?

I mean, with just gums, you can't gnash. You'd go "fumb fumb" where you'd expect a decent GNASH GNASH!

Can you imagine hearing "fumb fumb" all day?

That would make a mockery of hell, and I can't believe the Lord would allow those Albions to do so.

Hence my question.

In respect of British teeth in Hell, it is not often that we have the opportunity to quote Matthew 6, and read the edifying verses therein that shows what evil, Godless, heathen swine the blind are, and yet draw a conclusion to the question above:
Mat 22. The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. 23. But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!

Surely, cannot the same be said of teeth? For having teeth is a prerequisite to the rhetorical questions in verse 31 - 33.

Mat 31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
Mat 32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
Mat 33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

This is followed by the double-edge verse 34.
Mat 34. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Obviously, if you are asking, “What shall we eat?”, you are implying that there is either nothing to eat (in which case it doesn’t matter if you have teeth or not) or you have a freezer full of steak, yet you have no teeth.

In either case, as per v33, “and all these things shall be added unto you.”

But teeth are not just needed for eating, they are needed for gnashing, and here we have the second edge of the Sword of The Lord - your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

And He will give them to you! Praise!

However, sinners need not get the impression that they can, in this life, start chewing pebbles and The Lord will Provide new teeth! He will only provide IF “… seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness” in life, sinners don’t do this, and will go to Hell.

However, to fulfill the Word of The Lord, as per a later chapter and verse of Matthew and as quoted by Brother Wide Open, “They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” Teeth will be required in Hell and therefore, by virtue of Mat 6:33, are provided by the Lord.

(I suspect they will be comedy teeth to increase to torture factor.)

Some Unsaved Trash and other non-True Christians may ask, “Why would he give teeth to sinners?”

Why??? You ask “Why?”??? (I just can’t believe how stupid some people can be!!!)

The answer is Because there isn’t a sinner on earth who won’t, as he starts his sad journey in the down elevator, cry out unto The Lord, and in doing so, albeit too late, that sinner will be obeying the first part of Mat 6:33 “… seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness”
Praise and Glory!

[SUV]

Re: Does the Lord give the English teeth?

My Great Galumphing GOD, all of a sudden I am feeling just so Ill........

[Mad European]

Re: Does the Lord give the English teeth?

God clearly hates England. He has seen fit to deprive them of both teeth and testicles.

As an English Person I think that you are clearly idiots, we all have teeth, i myself have never had a filling or tooth removed in my life, and I have never met anybody in my country with large amounts of missing teeth who is not over 70, in which case they can be excused. And where have you came up with the idea that we have no testicles? Have you been looking at our testicals or something? I thought that members of this church were strictly non homosexual, but aparently for you its ok to go and look at mens testicals.

[SUV]

Re: Does the Lord give the English teeth?

As an English Person I think that you are clearly idiots, we all have teeth, i myself have never had a filling or tooth removed in my life.... testicals.

Yeah, sure, because they all rotted out!!!

And if you don't have enough couth to not come here to discuss your Stones here on our Godly Board, the least you can do is spell the Word Correctly ("testicles").

Some sinners; some sinners......JESUS!

[Wide-Open]

Re: Does the Lord give the English teeth?

Yeah, sure, because they all rotted out!!!

And if you don't have enough couth to not come here to discuss your Stones here on our Godly Board, the least you can do is spell the Word Correctly ("testicles").

Some sinners; some sinners......JESUS!

Amen Sister! And don't forget he's on about mens testicals, not womens testicals.

[Mad European]

Re: Does the Lord give the English teeth?

So i get an infraction for pointing out that you go looking at british mens testicals? You implied it that you are a "brit queer" yourself buddy, i was just pointing out the fact you said it and were going against your churches views. My teeth are all in, none of them are rotten, i have never had a single tooth problem in my life. And i do have a set of testicals. I think you people seriously need to have another look at the british, you have alot of totally wrong sterotypes of us.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Does the Lord give the English teeth?

Pal, you need to face facts; God hates England. All of your simpering and whining won't change that.

[SUV]

Re: Does the Lord give the English teeth?

So i get an infraction for pointing out that you go looking at british mens testicals?

Pastor Ezekiel, please give him more Infractions regarding his terrible spelling, his insistence on discussing his Stones on our Board,
and for failing to heed the Godly Advice of a Moderator regarding Proper spelling of the Word "testicle"

[Mad European]

Re: Does the Lord give the English teeth?

is that the best response you can come up with? Sending me some rubbish link to one article? And you base your theory for hating England on this article? Surely god hates America then as well because there is no longer prayer in schools.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Does the Lord give the English teeth?

And you base your theory for hating England on this article?

No, we base it on the English people.

Tell me, why do you keep on writing testicals? Is it because you normally just write bollox?

[Mad European]

Re: Does the Lord give the English teeth?

You can spell testicals both ways, and actually pastor ezekiel brought up the issue of testicals. Infractions for spelling mistakes is hilarious, seems like you have a bit of a bug in your craw today ezekiel, giving me infractions for love of british testicles and spelling mistakes. wrong time of the month? xxx

[SUV]

Re: Does the Lord give the English teeth?

You can spell testicals both ways, and actually pastor ezekiel brought up the issue of testicals. Infractions for spelling mistakes is hilarious, seems like you have a bit of a bug in your craw today ezekiel, giving me infractions for love of british testicles and spelling mistakes. wrong time of the month? xxx

My Geriatric GOD why are the Apostrophe Posse and Capitalization Police so late into Church today?