[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

NO! You are an ignorant fool. God NEVER dictated the Bible... even to Moses. You should learn about history before you fabricate bullshit to support your screwed up theories! The Bible was written by men! And King James did nothing to help the KJV other than remove the death penalty to those who translate it! Get your facts strait. You are lying to your congregation Pastor... and God will hold you personally responsible for it!

Are you crazy, or possessed by SATAN!
At Landover Baptist, We Believe:

1. The Scriptures, both Old and New Testaments, to be the inspired Word of God, without error in the original writings, which are the King James version 1611 Bible, the complete revelation of His will for the salvation of men and the Divine and final authority for Christian faith and life.
2. In one God, Creator of all things, infinitely perfect and eternally existing in three persons: Father, Son and Holy Spirit, who relates His Holy will through the pastors of the One True Church.
3. That Jesus Christ is true God and true man, having been conceived of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary. He died on the cross, a sacrifice for our sins according to the Scriptures. Further, He arose bodily from the dead, ascended into heaven, where, at the right hand of the Majesty on High, He is now our High Priest and Advocate.
4. That the ministry of the Holy Spirit is to glorify the Lord Jesus Christ and, during this age, to convict men, regenerate the believing sinner, and indwell, guide, instruct and empower the believer for godly living and service if they prove their love for Him by tithing.
5. That man was created in the image of God but fell into sin and is, therefore, lost, and only through regeneration by the Holy Spirit through accepted membership at Landover Baptist can salvation and spiritual life be obtained.
6. That the shed blood of Jesus Christ and His Resurrection provide the only ground for justification and salvation for all who believe, and only such as receive Jesus Christ are born of the Holy Spirit and, thus become children of God.
7. That water baptism and the Lord's Supper are ordinances to be observed by the Church during the present age. They are, however, not to be regarded as means of salvation.
8. That the true Church is composed of all such persons who through saving faith in Jesus Christ have been regenerated by the Holy Spirit and are united together in the Body of Christ of which He is the Head and Landover Baptist is the earthly Body.
9. That only those who are, thus, members of the True Christian (TM) Church shall be eligible for membership in the fraternity of Heaven.
10. That Jesus Christ is the Lord and Head of the Church and that every person is obliged to accept the Holy and Divine right of Landover Baptist Church as the sole purveyor of His Law.

11. In the bodily resurrection of the dead; of the believer to everlasting blessedness and joy with the Lord; of the unbeliever to judgment and everlasting conscious punishment.

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Are you crazy, or possessed by SATAN!
At Landover Baptist, We Believe:

1. The Scriptures, both Old and New Testaments, to be the inspired Word of God, without error in the original writings, which are the King James version 1611 Bible, the complete revelation of His will for the salvation of men and the Divine and final authority for Christian faith and life.
2. In one God, Creator of all things, infinitely perfect and eternally existing in three persons: Father, Son and Holy Spirit, who relates His Holy will through the pastors of the One True Church.
3. That Jesus Christ is true God and true man, having been conceived of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary. He died on the cross, a sacrifice for our sins according to the Scriptures. Further, He arose bodily from the dead, ascended into heaven, where, at the right hand of the Majesty on High, He is now our High Priest and Advocate.
4. That the ministry of the Holy Spirit is to glorify the Lord Jesus Christ and, during this age, to convict men, regenerate the believing sinner, and indwell, guide, instruct and empower the believer for godly living and service if they prove their love for Him by tithing.
5. That man was created in the image of God but fell into sin and is, therefore, lost, and only through regeneration by the Holy Spirit through accepted membership at Landover Baptist can salvation and spiritual life be obtained.
6. That the shed blood of Jesus Christ and His Resurrection provide the only ground for justification and salvation for all who believe, and only such as receive Jesus Christ are born of the Holy Spirit and, thus become children of God.
7. That water baptism and the Lord's Supper are ordinances to be observed by the Church during the present age. They are, however, not to be regarded as means of salvation.
8. That the true Church is composed of all such persons who through saving faith in Jesus Christ have been regenerated by the Holy Spirit and are united together in the Body of Christ of which He is the Head and Landover Baptist is the earthly Body.
9. That only those who are, thus, members of the True Christian (TM) Church shall be eligible for membership in the fraternity of Heaven.
10. That Jesus Christ is the Lord and Head of the Church and that every person is obliged to accept the Holy and Divine right of Landover Baptist Church as the sole purveyor of His Law.

11. In the bodily resurrection of the dead; of the believer to everlasting blessedness and joy with the Lord; of the unbeliever to judgment and everlasting conscious punishment.

I am neither crazy nor possessed by satan. It is you who are crazy! I would never lie to a congregation that God will hold me responsible for! You must have been damaged as a child or just did to many drugs in the 70's. I dont care what your crazy church belives... god did not dictate the bible. If you believe that you should be a mormon... you and Joseph smith should be buddues!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

I am neither crazy nor possessed by satan. It is you who are crazy! I would never lie to a congregation that God will hold me responsible for! You must have been damaged as a child or just did to many drugs in the 70's. I dont care what your crazy church belives... god did not dictate the bible. If you believe that you should be a mormon... you and Joseph smith should be buddues!

I'm no one's buddue, you homer! I beseech GOD to smite you for heresy!

Jeremiah 12:1-3 Righteous [art] thou, O LORD, when I plead with thee: yet let me talk with thee of [thy] judgments: Wherefore doth the way of the wicked prosper? [wherefore] are all they happy that deal very treacherously?
(2) Thou hast planted them, yea, they have taken root: they grow, yea, they bring forth fruit: thou [art] near in their mouth, and far from their reins.
(3) But thou, O LORD, knowest me: thou hast seen me, and tried mine heart toward thee: pull them out like sheep for the slaughter, and prepare them for the day of slaughter.


Jeremiah 11:20 But, O LORD of hosts, that judgest righteously, that triest the reins and the heart, let me see thy vengeance on them: for unto thee have I revealed my cause.

(21) Therefore thus saith the LORD of the men of Anathoth, that seek thy life, saying, Prophesy not in the name of the LORD, that thou die not by our hand:
(22) Therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts, Behold, I will punish them: the young men shall die by the sword; their sons and their daughters shall die by famine:
(23) And there shall be no remnant of them: for I will bring evil upon the men of Anathoth, [even] the year of their visitation.

[SUV]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

JEREMIAH! Jeremiah was a Bullfrog!

Well at least he wasn't no darned old snail.

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

I'm no one's buddue, you homer! I beseech GOD to smite you for heresy!

Jeremiah 12:1-3 Righteous [art] thou, O LORD, when I plead with thee: yet let me talk with thee of [thy] judgments: Wherefore doth the way of the wicked prosper? [wherefore] are all they happy that deal very treacherously?
(2) Thou hast planted them, yea, they have taken root: they grow, yea, they bring forth fruit: thou [art] near in their mouth, and far from their reins.
(3) But thou, O LORD, knowest me: thou hast seen me, and tried mine heart toward thee: pull them out like sheep for the slaughter, and prepare them for the day of slaughter.


Jeremiah 11:20 But, O LORD of hosts, that judgest righteously, that triest the reins and the heart, let me see thy vengeance on them: for unto thee have I revealed my cause.

(21) Therefore thus saith the LORD of the men of Anathoth, that seek thy life, saying, Prophesy not in the name of the LORD, that thou die not by our hand:
(22) Therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts, Behold, I will punish them: the young men shall die by the sword; their sons and their daughters shall die by famine:
(23) And there shall be no remnant of them: for I will bring evil upon the men of Anathoth, [even] the year of their visitation.

Ok dude... if you are going to put scriputre in your arguments you need to find relevent ones! That says nothing about a direct dictation of the bible by God.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Ok dude... if you are going to put scriputre in your arguments you need to find relevent ones! That says nothing about a direct dictation of the bible by God.

Those are 'imprecatory prayers', fool! They are what I prayed to GOD to do to your midget a$$.

Don't make me throw Psalms or Deuteronomy on you!

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Those are 'imprecatory prayers', fool! They are what I prayed to GOD to do to your midget a$$.

Don't make me throw Psalms or Deuteronomy on you!

ahhhh scary? No please dont throw duderonomy on me... i guess it doesn't matter since Galatians 3:13 kills duderonomy. I guess you are powerless... and dumb!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

How can cats be Christian? ANd how can this crazy church condone the keeping of cats... i mean in Ancient egypt Cats were the guardians of the Underworld... THat associates them with hell and i cannot believe that this church is ok with cats.

Are you another person like that Fish?
No, landover doesn't seem to condone the keeping of cats, but this poor cat lady person is obviously very attached to her cats.

And you are predjudiced. I'm pagan myself and one thing I notice about so many xtians is that they're quick to condemn, utterly ridiculous things. Leave cats (and everyone else) alone.

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Are you another person like that Fish?
No, landover doesn't seem to condone the keeping of cats, but this poor cat lady person is obviously very attached to her cats.

And you are predjudiced. I'm pagan myself and one thing I notice about so many xtians is that they're quick to condemn, utterly ridiculous things. Leave cats (and everyone else) alone.

No i was not damning cats. I think it is great and fine to keep cats. I was merely comenting on the Hypocracy of her keeping cats and being a memeber of this crazy church. I am sorry for the misunderstanding... i have absolutely nothing against cats.

[DAT21 (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Those are 'imprecatory prayers', fool! They are what I prayed to GOD to do to your midget a$$.

Don't make me throw Psalms or Deuteronomy on you!

What are we playing pokemon now? Fine then I summon ArchAngel Michael. Michael use your Damnation attack.

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

What are we playing pokemon now? Fine then I summon ArchAngel Michael. Michael use your Damnation attack.

Gabriel use your flaming sword attack!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Gabriel use your flaming sword attack!

So you are two demonic qweers sent to harass us? HA! The Lord shall turn your insides to water.

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

So you are two demonic qweers sent to harass us? HA! The Lord shall turn your insides to water.

DAMN your comebacks are good? Where do you come up with all of this stuff?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Again this information is extremely biased because of the Alterations to the bible that happened WAY before The KJV1611 was TRANSLATED... so your argument is effectivly null.
ONLY if you accept the idea that GOD is an incompetent screw-up without the basic managerial skills to make sure people do what HE tells them to. Does that sound like God to you?
Take Mary Magdalene for example. The church altered the Bible to take her importance away. They called her a Whore, which was not true. She Was actually the desendant of about half of the Tribes of Israel.

Great, so the fact that her mother slept around with every JOO she could find makes her holy, does it? Where do you get this stuff from, Harry Potter?

[DAT21 (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Great, so the fact that her mother slept around with every JOO she could find makes her holy, does it? Where do you get this stuff from, Harry Potter?

It's funny that you mention mom's because yours told me that last night.