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  • #1

    Ready to make a commitment

    Hi ladies. I am new here, and just recently gave my heart to Jesus. I have never been with a woman before, and I am really desperate to find a woman who loves Jesus and wants to raise some godly children.

    I just got delivered from alcohol and drugs, so you won't have to worry about any addiction problems with me. Jesus set me free from 10 hard years of Meth and Crack addictions, not to mention the gallon of wine that I used to drink every day. GOD IS SO GOOD!!!

    Please let me know if you want to go out with me. I realize I am not very easy on the eyes, but my good heart makes up for it. I know that a real godly woman will not look on my exterior, but on my heart instead.

    Looking forward to our first date!

    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Ready to make a commitment

    C'mon (edit)! Don't all of you apply at once now... there's enough man here for all the sanctified ladies in the house.

    Last edited by eliot mayfield; 11-20-2007, 02:47 PM.

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    • #3
      Re: Ready to make a commitment

      You have been warned about foul langauge. I looked on the urban dictionary and i assure you there are none of those women here!
      Matthew:
      5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
      5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
      10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
      10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


      sigpic

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      • #4
        Re: Ready to make a commitment

        Will God forgive me?

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        • #5
          Re: Ready to make a commitment

          Originally posted by MarkBroccardo View Post
          Will God forgive me?

          Of course God will forgive you! Hit that Paypal button at the bottom of this page and make a love offering to Jesus, to ensure Guaranteed Salvation©!
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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          • #6
            Re: Ready to make a commitment

            Originally posted by MarkBroccardo View Post
            I realize I am not very easy on the eyes, but my good heart makes up for it.
            Friend; you'd scare a negro off a pie. You could have a heart of gold and people's first choice is still going to be that you should be buried somewhere. Maybe you're moving a little too quick. Why don't you try making friends with a vagrant or something and work on your people skills.

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            • #7
              Re: Ready to make a commitment

              Originally posted by Deaner View Post
              Friend; you'd scare a negro off a pie. You could have a heart of gold and people's first choice is still going to be that you should be buried somewhere. Maybe you're moving a little too quick. Why don't you try making friends with a vagrant or something and work on your people skills.
              Or maybe I could scalp that mullet off your head and try to pass myself off as Joe Dirt?

              I am tired of people making fun of my looks. It wasn't my fault that momma tossed me in front of a Mack truck doing 55MPH when I was five years old!!!!

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              • #8
                Re: Ready to make a commitment

                Originally posted by MarkBroccardo View Post
                Or maybe I could scalp that mullet off your head and try to pass myself off as Joe Dirt?

                I am tired of people making fun of my looks. It wasn't my fault that momma tossed me in front of a Mack truck doing 55MPH when I was five years old!!!!

                My my my. A man not afraid to express his opinion!

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                • #9
                  Re: Ready to make a commitment

                  Originally posted by Anna Marie Raven View Post
                  My my my. A man not afraid to express his opinion!
                  Thanks Anna. How would you lke to go on a date with me?

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                  • #10
                    Re: Ready to make a commitment

                    Ah, I'm flattered sugah, but ah already got me a man

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                    • #11
                      Re: Ready to make a commitment

                      Originally posted by MarkBroccardo View Post
                      I am tired of people making fun of my looks. It wasn't my fault that momma tossed me in front of a Mack truck doing 55MPH when I was five years old!!!!

                      Hmmm, you accepted Jesus and what did he give you...a face as ugly as sin. Listen, turn away from a holy life (a simple selling of the soul is all that's required) and you can have anything you want -- including a face that doesn't induce vomitting. I did just that and now live a life of luxury and hedonism and I've gotta say it feels great.
                      Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death, I will fear no evil...

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                      • #12
                        Re: Ready to make a commitment

                        Originally posted by Enigmatic Harpo Marx View Post
                        Hmmm, you accepted Jesus and what did he give you...a face as ugly as sin. Listen, turn away from a holy life (a simple selling of the soul is all that's required) and you can have anything you want -- including a face that doesn't induce vomitting. I did just that and now live a life of luxury and hedonism and I've gotta say it feels great.
                        Oh poor little child. Don't fret! We'll save your soul fer Jesus!

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                        • #13
                          Re: Ready to make a commitment

                          Originally posted by Enigmatic Harpo Marx View Post
                          I did just that and now live a life of luxury and hedonism and I've gotta say it feels great.
                          I have to say, I never realised that "a life of luxury and hedonism" included quite so much time spent hanging around on Jesus' Favourite Forums making unbelievably lame attempt to bait Christ's Servants before.
                          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Ready to make a commitment

                            I have to say, I never realised that "a life of luxury and hedonism" included quite so much time spent hanging around on Jesus' Favourite Forums making unbelievably lame attempt to bait Christ's Servants before.
                            Quite. But I do not do this for myself, I do this for my Dark Lord.

                            Oh poor little child. Don't fret! We'll save your soul fer Jesus!
                            hehehehe, trust me I'm not fretting and I'm damned sure I'm not giving my soul to Jesus.
                            Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death, I will fear no evil...

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                            • #15
                              Re: Ready to make a commitment

                              Originally posted by Enigmatic Harpo Marx View Post
                              Quite. But I do not do this for myself, I do this for my Dark Lord.



                              hehehehe, trust me I'm not fretting and I'm damned sure I'm not giving my soul to Jesus.
                              Harpo,

                              Let's cut to the chase here. Right now Hilary Clinton, Richard Dawkins and Ted Kennedy rampage across the land like a mockery of the trinity and you think we are going to shocked by some kid Satanist in his mommy's basement?

                              Richard Dawkins shocks and scares us Christians. In one book he does more damage to our faith than your entire hooky religion ever will for all it's plastic pitchforks. I've seen evil and you an't it so cut it out.
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                              Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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