[Ixi]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

So there's no sex in heaven then? Screw that, I'd rather go to Hell.

Yeeah Hellion! *high fives hellion*

[Ixi]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Excellent point Brother Fish,

Anyone can tell which of THESE two is Hellbound!

And that poor puppy sure looks scared of going to heaven!

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Yeeah Hellion! *high fives hellion*

You whore, the only sex you will have in Hell is with satan himself, and I assure you that it isn't a "pleasurable" experience. Satan's pleasure is thinking of ways to make your life miserable, and based on what I have seen of you and what your Department of Faith dossier states, he is just warming up to what he will do to you in Hell. Your misery will only get worse -- I suggest you turn your life over to Jesus before its too late! You are a walking corpse, and an unhappy one to boot (even if you don't know it yet!)

[Brother Temperance]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Yeeah Hellion! *high fives hellion*

I thought you two both claimed to be virgins?

[see_the_light]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

im 23 and looking for a guy who can be himself around me and doesn't have to put on an act. im a hard worker but i like to party to, dancing is my favorite hobby and of course shoppin!! basically….im a care free down to earth girl with a dash of seriousness.

Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies....

wait! YOUNG ROES???!!!! might as well say full grown buffaloes!

But the LORD works in misterious ways, if those pseudo-scientific lies of Newton applied then with that mass you'd be really be "DOWN to earth"

Your upright photo is proof enough of their error!

Even if we KNOW THE TRUTH it can still be useful for sending to those atheistic so-called scientists. That will SHOW THEM!

[Enobarbus]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

I thought you two both claimed to be virgins?

You have taken the words right out of my mouth Brother. Although Hellion has admitted to self-pollution, which I'm sure comes as no surprise to anyone who has heard her foul rantings here.

[Enobarbus]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Yeeah Hellion! *high fives hellion*

In heaven you can have an orgasm whenever you like by clicking your fingers. In Hell there is sex, but no orgasms. Your partner will stink, be 80-years-old (looking, but be abnormally strong and rough) screw you savagely for 90 seconds, then hop off, sodomise you violently a couple of times; then, with the help of his demon friends, go back to smacking you around and tormenting you in other ways.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

In heaven you can have an orgasm whenever you like by clicking your fingers. In Hell there is sex, but no orgasms. Your partner will stink, be 80-years-old (looking, but be abnormally strong and rough) screw you savagely for 90 seconds, then hop off, sodomise you violently a couple of times; then, with the help of his demon friends, go back to smacking you around and tormenting you in other ways.

Nice, Eno, real nice. But your bible doesn't say that. And hey, let's pretend that was true. Could be worse! They could look like Dubya.

[Talitha]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Nice, Eno, real nice. But your bible doesn't say that. And hey, let's pretend that was true. Could be worse! They could look like Dubya.

The Pastor is close to Jesus© and knows these things far better than we ever could.
He is wiser than us in so many ways, so Missy, I suggest you start treating him with the respect he deserves.

[see_the_light]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

In heaven you can have an orgasm whenever you like by clicking your fingers. In Hell there is sex, but no orgasms. Your partner will stink, be 80-years-old (looking, but be abnormally strong and rough) screw you savagely for 90 seconds, then hop off, sodomise you violently a couple of times; then, with the help of his demon friends, go back to smacking you around and tormenting you in other ways.

Excuse me pastor, but except for the revolting term "sodomise" that brings that acursed city to mind and might be better applied on the STRICT sense of homers lying with homers...

"deuteronomy 23:17 There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel"

Leviticus 18:22

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination"

As men (even homers I assume) lack the particular entrance of women, THEN the interdict is on using homers as seems FIT to use a woman and. Therefore any pleasuring a woman can give his TRUE CHRISTIAN Husband should be little solace for the pains he endures trying to save, train her...Or Do I err?

Well and as for all the rest it seems fit for the education of a proper christian woman (of course the smacking must only be done by the husband, no demon friend allowed)

Checklist

1. A true christian woman must revel in presence of her pure TRUE CHRISTIAN husband (regardless of details of the flesh), his SAVED SOUL is all the beauty the woman needs.

stink, be 80-years-old... CHECK

2. A TRUE CHRISTION husband is blessed with the vigor of his faith. PRAISE THE LORD!

but be abnormally strong and rough) screw you savagely ... CHECK

3. A TRUE CHRISTION husband, knowing woman's weakness, shall not allow lust to tempt her, doing what he must even at the cost of sacrificing his desires. In such a case he saves the woman from falling into Satans hands and reminds her of her role as her husband's property and burden

90 seconds, then hop off, sodomise you violently a couple of times ... CHECK

3. A TRUE CHRISTION husband never rests, always ready to correct the (endless) mistakes that are woman's nature (I assume you joked on the demon, reminding in a parable that no-one could have vigour enough to sustain the correctings without supernatural help, in the case of a TRUE CHRISTIAN the sthrengh of JESUS OUR SAVIOUR!

then, with the help of his demon friends, go back to smacking you around and tormenting you in other ways ... CHECK

I must ask how you have reached such a nearness to our SAVIOUR that he inspires you to with the most sublime elegance.

You remind that woman that should she be saved (unlikely as it seems at this moment) the presence of GOD in heaven pales any orgasm.

Then you show what she should seek for salvation, a TRUE CHRISTIAN HUSBAND that corrects her and shows that sex is but a part of the neverending toil that his devotion to his wife entails. his own CROSS!

PRAISE THE LORD!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

And while your point is well taken, your spelling insults Jesus deeply. What on earth is a "TRUE CHRISTION"?

[see_the_light]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

And while your point is well taken, your spelling insults Jesus deeply. What on earth is a "TRUE CHRISTION"?

A thousand "forgive me" couldn't excuse me.

I HAVE SINNED!

Through a neglectful copy/paste at hours where we are too weak to see.

I was touched by the beautiful message and let reckless enthusiasm lead me to grammar perdition.

You are too kind by even with such error mentioning the point as well taken.

I don't deserve it and my company is not fit for GOOD TRUE CHRISTIANS like you.

But you have shown over and over a patience befitting the most compassionate of TRUE CHRISTIANS.

Lead me a bit longer that through your support I might reach the LORD and say

"Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great."

Psalms 18:35

For LANDOVER BAPTISTS are truly HIS RIGHT HAND!

PRAY TO JESUS OUR SAVIOUR!

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

The cat?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

The cat?

How high are you?

[I'm_Fabolous!]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

im 23 and looking for a guy who can be himself around me and doesn't have to put on an act. im a hard worker but i like to party to, dancing is my favorite hobby and of course shoppin!! basically….im a care free down to earth girl with a dash of seriousness.

nice....