Help! please

[live4christ]

I've been lurking here for a long time. This is a very good site for a true christian i must say. But i have a serious problem.

I think I've been cursed by a follower of Satan!

My car started leaking gas before i went to work this morning and i had to stop on the way to get the gas line fixed. When i got to work i almost tripped and if i had my hand would of landed on my co-workers breasts!
When i finally got to my desk my boss asked me to get a box of files out of storage. While i got the box another almost fell on my head from the sheaf above! The rest of the work day went on uneventful thank Jesus.

When i got home i found my 13-year old dog lying in a pool of puke. I had to get him put down after i took him to the vet. Then while i was cutting potatoes for a nice stew to help calm me down there was a loud banging throughout my house and i slipped with the knife and cut my finger. I still haven't found out the source of the banging but i think it may be demons! I called the local church and a priest is going to bless my house tomorrow. Is there anything else i should do? Please help i don't want to die yet.

[Nobar King]

Re: Help! please

You have some serious problems, friend. My advice is:

• get a new dog
• stop cutting potatoes
• don't trust the priest
• take the bus
• quit your imaginary job

[live4christ]

Re: Help! please

Please im not trying to be a troll (i've seen them post). I really do need help.

[Nobar King]

Re: Help! please

I see what you did there. You tried to deflect my suspicion of your true intention.

You are, in fact, a troll. I see that you are asking for help, though, and I'm willing to humor you for a few more minutes.

What have you done to help with the clumsiness? Thorazine might help.

[live4christ]

Re: Help! please

I'm not a troll. I beg of you please help. I'm afraid to do anything but sit here with the door locked in my computer room.
I goto Plymouth creek christian church. Are the priests there to be trusted? I'm not too sure since i saw serval "goth" type people at a service. I don't want to let them into my house if there soul is not pure.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Help! please

I'm not a troll. I beg of you please help. I'm afraid to do anything but sit here with the door locked in my computer room.
I goto Plymouth creek christian church. Are the priests there to be trusted? I'm not too sure since i saw serval "goth" type people at a service. I don't want to let them into my house if there soul is not pure.

Christians don't have priests. You are busted.

[live4christ]

Re: Help! please

That's what my church calls them.
Please I'll i want is help. I would think good Christians like yourself would help me.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Help! please

That's what my church calls them.
Please I'll i want is help. I would think good Christians like yourself would help me.

If your church calls them priests, your church isn't christian.

2nd Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?