[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

Lol, well, I hope you get a blizzard, dear Alie.

[Enobarbus]

Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

*Giggles* Well, as humourous as that response is, I don't think it would get you any more marks than the True Christian one I posted.

"Humorous". Yes, even in BE. There is no such word as "humourous". Please pay attention to your spelling on these, God's favorite church's boards. Godly American English should be the norm.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

I pray for you, Undecipherable. I pray for Jesus to force you to type in Godly, readable black text before He decides to strike you down.
But maybe if you'd spend less time eating babies, sacrificing cats to Satan, and mocking True Christians (tm) in our Internet sanctuary, you'd have more time to do your Godless homework!
Besides, you go to a suckular school anyway. Just do what all non-TCs do anyway and make it up as you go along.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

*Giggles* Well, as humourous as that response is, I don't think it would get you any more marks than the True Christian one I posted.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

What wrong with people from Poland? I know people from Norway, is there something wrong with them?

No, no, by all means, continue praying for a blizzard, I was just goofing off. I don't think I'd ever trust you guys to do any of my homework. I can see it now:

(Easy) Chemistry Question: "How many moles of each molecule are in a tank containing 52 grams of compressed Oxygen and 48 grams of Helium?"
True Christian Answer: "Molecules don't exist, they were made up by secular 'scientists' who are without God, therefore this question is irrelevant. The only questions you should be asking are Biblical questions! Get right with Jesus before you try to teach our kids anything, sinner!

My answer would be more like:

"Moles made of oxygen and helium? That makes about as much sense as bunnies made of chocolate!

If you want 100 grams of moles, go out and buy moles, don't compress oxygen and helium and try to magically transform it into a mole!"

[WickedWitch]

Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

Besides, you think you have it bad? I know someone who's a Polack. Seriously, no kidding, a real live Polack.

What wrong with people from Poland? I know people from Norway, is there something wrong with them?

I see. So now, instead of praying for a blizzard, you want to dare us into doing your homework for you!

No, no, by all means, continue praying for a blizzard, I was just goofing off. I don't think I'd ever trust you guys to do any of my homework. I can see it now:

(Easy) Chemistry Question: "How many moles of each molecule are in a tank containing 52 grams of compressed Oxygen and 48 grams of Helium?"
True Christian Answer: "Molecules don't exist, they were made up by secular 'scientists' who are without God, therefore this question is irrelevant. The only questions you should be asking are Biblical questions! Get right with Jesus before you try to teach our kids anything, sinner!


Yeah... I don't think I'd let you guys do my homework if you payed me to. Besides, it's not that I don't enjoy my homework, I do, it's just that it's so tedius and time-consuming (rather like myself, actually).

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

I dare you to do all my homework on time. You think you could?

I see. So now, instead of praying for a blizzard, you want to dare us into doing your homework for you!

Just like Satan daring God to let him torture Job! Except you'd be using our work to pass your school courses. Satan just did it for fun.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

Maybe if I only had one of my hard courses this semester it wouldn't be a big deal and I'd have everything done. But I don't have that kind of luck, so instead I've got a heavy course-load (about which you've all heard me complain numerous times, I'm sure), each class involving enough homework to make someone go crazy, and each bit of homework with a deadline that's just plain stupid. I dare you to do all my homework on time. You think you could?

Friend, this is Jesus' way of telling you to drop out of school and focus on fulltime Bible study. Besides, you think you have it bad? I know someone who's a Polack. Seriously, no kidding, a real live Polack. And you think you have a reason to feel sorry for yourself!

[WickedWitch]

Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

Since when have you been Sister Sue's Sister, sinner?

Since forever, goofy.

If you weren't such a homer receiving anal sex 24/7 you might have gotten your evil secular homerwork done.

1) Alie doesn't have anal sex; 2) Alie hasn't had sex in nearly three years (and I think I should count as a virgin for that); 3) I don't think you could get my homework done in the short amount of time my teachers give me, so old :p.

Darn it, Alie, now I've gotten into trouble with our Men. I see that, and I'm sorry for it.

I think I know why: Instead of Praying that a storm would happen so you could miss school, I should have been Praying that a storm would not happen so that you might be kicked out of secular "school" for not doing your Home-work, thereby needing to be Properly Home-schooled instead! Yay! Ah, yes, I see! Unfortunately there is no one to home-school me.

But JESUS brokers no retractions

Well, that is a pickle. If it makes you feel any better, or if it improves the situation, there isn't very much of a blizzard happening and so far, no schools are closing because of the weather.

I'm praying for you, Undies! *Twitches her nose* I'm not sure I like the sound of that...

I'm praying that the Love of Jesus spills upon you, showering you in its golden light, and that you drink your fill of His Joy! Yep, that's it. I knew there was going to be something a little bit off about you praying for me. But I appreciate the thought.

No snow, though. Maybe if you spent more time doing homework and less online begging for blizzards, you wouldn't be behind.

Maybe if I only had one of my hard courses this semester it wouldn't be a big deal and I'd have everything done. But I don't have that kind of luck, so instead I've got a heavy course-load (about which you've all heard me complain numerous times, I'm sure), each class involving enough homework to make someone go crazy, and each bit of homework with a deadline that's just plain stupid. I dare you to do all my homework on time. You think you could?

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

Before you get all excited, this is not a medical emergency or anything else like that, but I do need prayers as soon as possible.

Pray for a mighty blizzard (like the one Saskatoon had last month) to keep kids out of school today! Please!

I'm praying for you, Undies!

I'm praying that the Love of Jesus spills upon you, showering you in its golden light, and that you drink your fill of His Joy!

No snow, though. Maybe if you spent more time doing homework and less online begging for blizzards, you wouldn't be behind.

[SUV]

Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

Darn it, Alie, now I've gotten into trouble with our Men.

I think I know why: Instead of Praying that a storm would happen so you could miss school, I should have been Praying that a storm would not happen so that you might be kicked out of secular "school" for not doing your Home-work, thereby needing to be Properly Home-schooled instead! Yay!

But JESUS brokers no retractions

[BornAgain]

Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

If you weren't such a homer receiving anal sex 24/7 you might have gotten your evil secular homerwork done.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

Relax, Pastor Zeke. Don't get your Godly Drawers all in a bunch - is there something wrong with Sisterly Love? Now, without twisting my words into something lesbian-like, answer that question. Are Sisters not supposed to Love each other?

Since when have you been Sister Sue's Sister, sinner?

[WickedWitch]

Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

Relax, Pastor Zeke. Don't get your Godly Drawers all in a bunch - is there something wrong with Sisterly Love? Now, without twisting my words into something lesbian-like, answer that question. Are Sisters not supposed to Love each other?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

Thank you so much, Sister! Have I told you lately that I platonically Love you?

Plato was a greek homer. Take your lezbean gropings elsewhere. Sister SUV! Report to Pastor Pistle's estate immediately!