[MirthMenace]

Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

You aren't Saved®, so Jesus doesn't hear your prayers.

That's great news! I don't pray to Jesus! And anyway, this thread did not specify to whom these prayers were to be directed.

[Gnarcissistic]

Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

Hey 'Pastor Ezekiel'... is it fun taking scriptures out of context? i've never done it before, just like i've never read a book starting in the middle and skipping around pages.. it just seems silly!

anyways, your quotation of Psalms 2:4 is pretty clever! I'm sure you had to scour the internet looking for why or how God can condemn his creation.

But if you'll allow me to expound, Psalms 2 was actually written by either David or his friend Nathan (OMW WERE THEY GAY THEYR 2 GUYS LOLZ!!) in response to other countries attacking Jerusalem.
He's saying that when someone (individuals, organizations, countries, etc..) attacks one of God's appointed leaders, they're really attacking God. The whole "He that is sitting above the skies will laugh.
The Lord will say that they are stupid"
thing is a picture of the absurdity that anyone would think it a good idea to go against the creator. if it helps to have a picture in your mind, think of babysitting a little kid who's being snotty with you. You're obviously much stronger than the young child and any threats he throws at you are well, laughable at their absurdity!

do i need to bring Jesus' quotes into this too?

why don't you just read Matthew 5, it should clear a few things up.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

That's great news! I don't pray to Jesus! And anyway, this thread did not specify to whom these prayers were to be directed.

No, but simple logic will dictate that prayers to Jesus (the One True Lord) are always effective, and praying to fake and made-up idols (Mary, Allah, Vishnu, etc.) are equally ineffective since the prayers are made upon deaf ears. You have as much success praying to a billboard or a Coke can as one of these false gods.

[Gnarcissistic]

Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

Goodness, you guys are fast!

As long as there's no censorship on this board, i hope you don't mind me picking apart your fallacies!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

Hey 'Pastor Ezekiel'... is it fun taking scriptures out of context? i've never done it before, just like i've never read a book starting in the middle and skipping around pages.. it just seems silly!

No True Christian™ pastor takes Scripture out of context. We follow all of the Bible, not just parts. Perhaps what upsets you is how thorough and honest we follow the Bible?

anyways, your quotation of Psalms 2:4 is pretty clever! I'm sure you had to scour the internet looking for why or how God can condemn his creation.

Plain ignorance. Pastor Ezekiel memorized the entire Bible at a young age. The only thing he googles is his own superlative memory when quoting Bible verses.

But if you'll allow me to expound, Psalms 2 was actually written by either David or his friend Nathan (OMW WERE THEY GAY THEYR 2 GUYS LOLZ!!) in response to other countries attacking Jerusalem.

Prove they are homosexuals, without resorting to baseless hypotheses or conjecture.

He's saying that when someone (individuals, organizations, countries, etc..) attacks one of God's appointed leaders, they're really attacking God. The whole "He that is sitting above the skies will laugh.
The Lord will say that they are stupid"

You are seriously twisting the Bible out of context with that interpretation. Here is what Psalms, Chapter 2 says...

1Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing?

2The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD, and against his anointed, saying,
3Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us. 4He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the LORD shall have them in derision.

This verse says the Lord will laugh against the heathens and kings who challenge Him. Clearly, sinners and unsaved trash challenge God on a daily basis with their actions. It's not about attacking "God's appointed leaders" since that is nowhere to be found in the verse, it is about attacking God Himself. In context, the kings are reflecting the beliefs of the heathens and are merely carrying out the unsaved, heathen agenda. The result of course, is that the Lord laughs at them.

Therefore, it stands to reason, that any unrepentant sinner who dares disobey God willfully will be met with derision. Please go to Bible College like Pastor Zeke and myself before you try to debate such matters, greenie.

thing is a picture of the absurdity that anyone would think it a good idea to go against the creator. if it helps to have a picture in your mind, think of babysitting a little kid who's being snotty with you. You're obviously much stronger than the young child and any threats he throws at you are well, laughable at their absurdity!

do i need to bring Jesus' quotes into this too?

Please bring Jesus's quotes in. You will find it won't help your case one bit.

why don't you just read Matthew 5, it should clear a few things up.

Yes, Matthew 5 is a wonderful chapter. It includes verses such as this...

17Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
18For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

Jesus is upholding the Old Testament. So many false "Christians" think we can do away with Deuteronomy and Leviticus, but here is Jesus Himself commanding we follow it. What a wonderful chapter. Thank you for bringing it up!

[Gnarcissistic]

Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

oh I LOVE a good debate! and i do appreciate your persistent kayfabe, it's like being in one of those 'go back to the past' colonial villages that gradeschoolers are often taken to!

anyways, sorry i don't know how to quote... but i'll do my best here:

"This verse says the Lord will laugh against the heathens and kings who challenge Him. Clearly, sinners and unsaved trash challenge God on a daily basis with their actions. It's not about attacking "God's appointed leaders" since that is nowhere to be found in the verse, it is about attacking God Himself. In context, the kings are reflecting the beliefs of the heathens and are merely carrying out the unsaved, heathen agenda. The result of course, is that the Lord laughs at them."

Well, as you may well know, David was a King at the time of this writing. He was most likely frustrated at the attacks caused by, yes, 'heathen' kings and rulers of the time.

the entire chapter is not DIRECTLY about David's struggles, but about his recognition of God's infinite power and might. I would agree that God DOES laugh at the plots of the wicked, as any scheme they may plan against Him or His appointed is incredibly foolish in His sight.

and your interpretation of that section of Matthew 5 is pretty funny as well! in those verses (17-18), Jesus was refuting the accusations that Him and His followers were undermining the law. You are also correct in your saying that Jesus wanted to keep all of the Old Testament laws unchanged. NOW, here's the tricky part, did that mean we were to continue to FOLLOW an outdated set of laws and standards?

no. Jesus was simply saying that we should not get rid of the Old Testament, as there are essential lessons that we can learn from Old Testament books.

if that's not enough, i'll expound on why we're no longer bound by the Old Testament law (making most of this forums other facetious threads idiotic and without merit).

Matthew 15:4-7 and Mark 7:9-13 refer only to instances when Jesus alludes to the same Old Testament laws. Jesus spoke to a group of Jewish Pharisees who had already relaxed the penalties of the Old Testament law by rationalizing away the need to care for their parents in their old age. He showed them the hypocrisy of allowing their followers to ignore their obligations to their parents so as to contribute to the Temple. And yes, Jesus actually supported the Law by His words.

it all comes down to James 2:10, "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." Therefore, the Old Testament Law is a unit. Either all of it applies, or none of it applies. If Christ fulfilled some it, such as the sacrificial system, He fulfilled all of it.

how did he fulfill it? reread matthew 5.
"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have come not to abolish them but to fulfil them." -vs 17

Christ fulfilled the law by not only living in TOTAL OBEDIENCE to the law, but also by paying the penalty incurred by everyone who has ever lived or will ever live (dying on the cross and paying for our sins). Paul wrote, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.”26 Jesus was the only person who could unequivocally make such a claim.

WHEW! that was a good one! what else you got?

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

oh I LOVE a good debate! and i do appreciate your persistent kayfabe, it's like being in one of those 'go back to the past' colonial villages that gradeschoolers are often taken to!

anyways, sorry i don't know how to quote... but i'll do my best here:

At the bottom of the response there are little buttons like "EDIT", "QUOTE", etc. Click the "Quote" button to automatically quote the other person. It's much cleaner than copying and pasting.

And I like being in debate with Biblically-retarded people like you. It's like going back to the past when everyone was illiterate and listened to priests!

"This verse says the Lord will laugh against the heathens and kings who challenge Him. Clearly, sinners and unsaved trash challenge God on a daily basis with their actions. It's not about attacking "God's appointed leaders" since that is nowhere to be found in the verse, it is about attacking God Himself. In context, the kings are reflecting the beliefs of the heathens and are merely carrying out the unsaved, heathen agenda. The result of course, is that the Lord laughs at them."

Well, as you may well know, David was a King at the time of this writing. He was most likely frustrated at the attacks caused by, yes, 'heathen' kings and rulers of the time.

the entire chapter is not DIRECTLY about David's struggles, but about his recognition of God's infinite power and might. I would agree that God DOES laugh at the plots of the wicked, as any scheme they may plan against Him or His appointed is incredibly foolish in His sight.

Exactly, as you say "plots of the wicked". But just because David was a king does not mean it's not applicable to daily life. Day after day, God is assaulted by sinners who dare mock Him. It's not just heathen kings and rulers who fight against God, it's people in everyday society. The gay agenda, the liberals, the Dawkins-worshipping atheists, etc. Certainly, David's tribulations against these people apply to us just as equally.

and your interpretation of that section of Matthew 5 is pretty funny as well! in those verses (17-18), Jesus was refuting the accusations that Him and His followers were undermining the law. You are also correct in your saying that Jesus wanted to keep all of the Old Testament laws unchanged. NOW, here's the tricky part, did that mean we were to continue to FOLLOW an outdated set of laws and standards?

no. Jesus was simply saying that we should not get rid of the Old Testament, as there are essential lessons that we can learn from Old Testament books.

Where does Jesus say that? From what Matthew 5 says, he makes it clear that He is here to uphold the Law (Old Testament). In no way does He say the Old Testament is outdated.

if that's not enough, i'll expound on why we're no longer bound by the Old Testament law (making most of this forums other facetious threads idiotic and without merit).

Matthew 15:4-7 and Mark 7:9-13 refer only to instances when Jesus alludes to the same Old Testament laws. Jesus spoke to a group of Jewish Pharisees who had already relaxed the penalties of the Old Testament law by rationalizing away the need to care for their parents in their old age. He showed them the hypocrisy of allowing their followers to ignore their obligations to their parents so as to contribute to the Temple. And yes, Jesus actually supported the Law by His words.

What's interesting about Matthew 15, is we should look at the verses that follow, 8 through 9.


8This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. 9But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.

Sounds like a pretty strong condemnation of False "Christians", don't you think? Here Jesus is making the case of professed faith versus true faith. Certainly these verses can apply to heretical "churches" like the Lutherans, Episcopalians, Methodists, etc who ordain actively homosexual priests, in clear disdainment of Leviticus 18:22.

it all comes down to James 2:10, "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." Therefore, the Old Testament Law is a unit. Either all of it applies, or none of it applies. If Christ fulfilled some it, such as the sacrificial system, He fulfilled all of it.

Wait, so you're saying we should throw out all the Old Testament Law because of Jesus? There is nary a Scriptural verse that says that! You are making a non sequitor at this point. James 2:10 has nothing to do with ignoring Old Testament Law, in fact, it reaffirms it.

Now, according your logic, James 2:10 "magically" says that we don't have to follow Old Testament Law....Okay...now, let's look at James 2:11

11For he that said, Do not commit adultery, said also, Do not kill. Now if thou commit no adultery, yet if thou kill, thou art become a transgressor of the law.

So by your reasoning we can commit adultery and kill at will, right? These are Old Testament Laws. But of course, Jesus said we don't have to follow these right?

Seriously, if you're going to debate Scripture, try harder.

how did he fulfill it? reread matthew 5.
"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have come not to abolish them but to fulfil them." -vs 17

Exactly. NOT to abolish them, but to fullfill them. The Jews were promised a Savior and it was fulfilled in Jesus Christ.

Christ fulfilled the law by not only living in TOTAL OBEDIENCE to the law, but also by paying the penalty incurred by everyone who has ever lived or will ever live (dying on the cross and paying for our sins). Paul wrote, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.”26 Jesus was the only person who could unequivocally make such a claim.

WHEW! that was a good one! what else you got?

Christ paid for our sins, yes, but that does not support your bewildering claim that we should throw out the Old Testament. So, really, I ask you, my Biblically-retarded friend...what else do you have? (not got, that's just poor English)

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

Okay, here's my list:

Ringo Starr (hippie scum)
Paul McArtney (hippie scum)
Justin Timberlake (race traitor)
Bob Dylan (a joo)
The Jonas Brothers(incest)
Madonna (papist whore)
Geraldo Rivera (wetback)
Dolly Parton (lezbean)
Elton John (prominant sodomite)
Brad Pitt (arrogant liberal)
Harrison Ford (arrogant liberal)
Tom Cruise (cultist midget)
John Travolta (sodomite cultist)

May Jesus kill them and send them to hell today! Amen!

[Brother Cletus]

Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

I can't believe that that lesbiman hussie Rachel Maddow is still walking around breathing free Godly American air.

[MirthMenace]

Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

No, but simple logic will dictate that prayers to Jesus (the One True Lord) are always effective, and praying to genuine and made-up idols (Mary, Allah, Vishnu, etc.) are equally ineffective since the prayers are made upon deaf ears. You have as much success praying to a billboard or a Coke can as one of these false gods.

While I must disagree that "prayers to Jesus (the One True Lord) are always effective", I will concede that "praying to genuine and made-up idols (Mary, Allah, Vishnu, etc.) are equally ineffective".

BTW, I'd like to add a few names to my previously posted list (again in no particular order);

Rush Limbaugh
Osama bin Laden
Sean Hannity
Kanye West
Bernie Madoff
Jeremiah Wright
anybody with "ayatollah" in their name or title
Google
Rod Blagojevich

Jay Cutler is on the bubble for sure!!!


I'll think of more, you'll see.

[SUV]

Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

That darkie Obamaramalamamamajamadingdong.

This is even worse than "Condomleezza" and True Americans should not have to put up with it any longer

[Larry Lee]

Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

Google

Interesting suggestion. I doubt Jesus ever uses Google to perform His internet searches.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

Ruth Ginsburg?
Nancy Pelosi?

[VictoryOS]

Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

I notice Ellen DeGenerate isn't on anyone's list. Has she already been sent to Hell and I missed it?

[SUV]

Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

I notice Ellen DeGenerate isn't on anyone's list. Has she already been sent to Hell and I missed it?

Unfortunately no, Sister Victory. It is due to her continued presence here on Earth that we feel as though we are living in hell