How To Do an imprecation?

[Rev Jeffrey Lebowski]

Last night, some rascal stole my peanut butter.

So, I need y'alls help with the basic rules for imprecatory prayers.

Do I need to be real specific as to whether I wish the culprit to be killed, maimed, or just cursed?
Can the prayer bounce off the intended, and then ricochet back to me?

I want to make the perfect prayer request to invoke just the right retribution; but I can't seem find the exact imprecation in my Gideon KJV.

Can y'all point me in the righteous direction?

Many Thanks,
Rev Jeffrey Lebowski
Sister Verna is taking notes

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: How To Do an imprecation?

Last night, some rascal stole my peanut butter.

So, I need y'alls help with the basic rules for imprecatory prayers.

Do I need to be real specific as to whether I wish the culprit to be killed, maimed, or just cursed?

I rarely use imprecatory prayer, I find that a visit from Bobby-Joe and the boys serves the purpose and frees God to get on with more important matters.

However, I think that it depends a lot on the message you wish to send forth as to whether the culprit should be “killed, maimed, or just cursed.”

Killed is effective if you wish to send a short, sharp, shock to those who were aware of the crime.
Maiming is more effective for a closed community and a general message
Curses are long term investments. They may even go national. Death of firstborn, wives, drought on the victim’s land, barren kine, leprosy, poverty redefined, boils, blindness, intense thirst, etc.

Can the prayer bounce off the intended, and then ricochet back to me?

Old fashioned idea, superstition gone wild!

Someone will help you with the style of prayer once you have made up your mind where you are on this one.

[Rev Jeffrey Lebowski]

Re: How To Do an imprecation?

Brother Bathfire !
Thanks be to Ye.
That is exactly the information I need.
Since I am 'detained' here at Glasscock Cnty J; and they do have lots of surveillance cameras and stool pigeons .... yep ....
a proper imprecated prayer would work better than an ice pick in the shower room.

Yes. I like your phrasing :

message you wish to send forth

Yeh, sending a message......
Well, a killing prayer would be effective, but the perpetrator owes me money and that would surely disable him from fulfilling the re-pay function.

A long term curse could have benefits, but I hope my stay here is short-term. And anyways, since the curse may spread to the culprits family {his Momma does make good cookies, and he also has a cute sister}
well , I would not want some Ebola Monkey Virus to get them too, nor would I want his former trailer park neighbors to get H1N1 Mexican Pig Flu neither.

So looks like Door Number 2 >>>

Maiming is more effective for a closed community and a general message

So maiming it is.
Sister Verna says a good maiming would be having the culprits' eyeballs shrivel-up like raisins, then having some maggots go in an out the sockets, and finish-up with a large bird pecking away at them.
I'm more of a time-fitting-the-crime kinda guy so I would be happy if he got maimed with knarled fingers and maybe they turned black; then fingernails all fall off.... oh, and maybe his two front teeth should fall out too.

OK, let's start.
Who should I begin my prayer to?
The Father, Son, or the Holy Spirit?

Rev Jeffrey Lebowski
Sister Verna is on the telephone

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: How To Do an imprecation?

Well the choice is, as you should know, irrelevant as they are the Indivisible Trinity, Three-in-One.

I would not go as far as saying that your prayer will reach whichever aspect of God is on duty at the time, but I feel it will end up in the Hands of God The Father; His Old Testament experience - Job, Plagues of Egypt, Midianites, fall of Sodom and Gomorrah, etc., tend to indicate that He has the whip hand when it comes to maiming:

Exodus 4:11 And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD?

Jesus is more the "Let's try and forgive them before slaughtering them at the 2nd Coming" type. Cut and dried if you will - death or nothing.

The Holy Spirit seems more the linguist amongst the aspects, speaking in tongues and generally giving you a healthy, freshly-scrubbed look as He descends on you (usually as fire (harmless, completely harmless.)

I hope this helps.

[Rev Jeffrey Lebowski]

Re: How To Do an imprecation?

Brother Bathfire:
You sure know your stuff about prayer aiming!

I see that the Daddy God is the one to direct the maiming request to.
Vengeance is His specialty; and the Son did let one of the thieves He was hanging out with get off the Hell Hook.

I was wondering if maybe the Holy Ghost had a ninja-like ability to creep up in the middle of the night and do some ghostly maiming ,
but seeing how he (it) mostly gets involved in language arts and healthy glows , well, better I send the prayer to a known producer.

OK... this is just a practice prayer>>>>

Ohhhhhhh, {fill in the name of appropriate Indivisible Trinity here},
I beseech thee, Oh- most kind, loving, and powerful Master of the Universe:
To maim {fill in the name of the intended maimee here} by the knarling of the fingers, rotting of the teeth, and blackening of the fingernails .
For the pilfering rascal has offended Thy Commandments (#8 to be specific) and thus deserves to git this as a divine retribution,
and a clear message that he should not steal another persons peanut butter.
Amen

Now, I have one more question.

Does the Amen give the proper guidance system for this prayer missile?
Or does the prayer need a sacrifice to launch it towards the intended recipient?

Rev Jeffrey Lebowski
Sister Verna too (she was wanting the rotted eyeballs prayer , but I thought to save that maiming for someone else)

[Talitha]

Re: How To Do an imprecation?

I always Pray for the Soul of the person who would dare steal from my house.
My Security Team are on 24/7 alert.
In fact, Mr Smith and Mr Wesson are here right now taking Photographs just in case some Pie-Stealer is on the prowl.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: How To Do an imprecation?

Brother Bathfire:
OK... this is just a practice prayer>>>>

Ohhhhhhh, {fill in the name of appropriate Indivisible Trinity here},Lord Almighty
I beseech thee, Oh- most kind, loving, and powerful Master of the Universe:
To maim {fill in the name of the intended maimee here} him mine enemy by the knarling of the fingers, rotting of the teeth, and blackening of the fingernails. For the pilfering rascala sinner has offended against Thy Commandments (#8 to be specific) and thus deserves to git this as a divine retribution an example of Thy Mercy, and a clear message that he should not steal another persons that he may tread in the paths of righteousness, henceforth and forsake his ways with peanut butter.
Amen

Firstly, God knows who did it, no need to tell Him. We are also looking for prevention of reoffending and bringing a soul to Jesus.

Now, I have one more question.

Does the Amen give the proper guidance system for this prayer missile?
Or does the prayer need a sacrifice to launch it towards the intended recipient?

Another point of which you should be aware: Jesus made the Final Sacrifice when he died temporarily; no further sacrifices are required.

Rev Jeffrey Lebowski

Sister Verna too (she was wanting the rotted eyeballs prayer , but I thought to save that maiming for someone else)

Wise, very wise. I feel women get carried away all too easily.

[James Hutchins]

Re: How To Do an imprecation?

You can pray the thief has a peanut allergy and no epidrin handy...............