[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Please Pray for my Testicles.

Hold your prayers, fellow Christians.

"Rabbi Finklestein", who began this thread, need not fear for the body parts in question...as her name is Erin.

It has come to the Church's attention that certain parties are engaged in a mass deception, in which they visit this thread to 'troll" us, and mock our prayers. Little did they know our security teams have unlimited access to "classified" internet war rooms, and that the Eyes of the Lord SEE ALL.

Behold the wickedness:

(ordinarily, I would clean up their vile language, but feel it's important that all see the extent of the evil we're up against, here).
.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Please Pray for my Testicles.

Well, the good Rabbi is in fact a troll. I'm glad the DoF is on top of these things, as always.

I assume the ip addresses, names, addresses. social security numbers, credit history, work history, voting record, medical records, tax history and criminal background of this individual and her conspirators have been duly recorded.

Excellent work! As always.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Please Pray for my Testicles.

What's this?! God mockery!!??

Jude 1:17 But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
1:19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.

Has the Obama regime corrupted this country to the point where a humble, God-fearing church can't run its forum unmolested by demons? Where is the ACLU now? Why isn't this gang of thugs being charged with a hate crime?

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Please Pray for my Testicles.

Well, the good Rabbi is in fact a troll. I'm glad the DoF is on top of these things, as always.

What these vandals and God Mockers (who are often very young) don't realize is the full, all-encompassing power of the Landover Baptist Church.

There's nothing exchanged or posted on the Internets that our Landover Security Supervisor Bobby-Joe, and his Department of Defense, don't have access to.

The church is in contact with other True Christians™ world wide, and telephone conferences are held several times a day to trade information...as often a heretic attacking one church will be doing the same to another.

At other times, God™ himself will appear to a Male Elder in our Church, warning of an attack.

A lawsuit against Erin for identity theft and false impersonation is being prepared even as I write this. How I bet she wishes she truly were this Rabbi Finklestein, now.

[True Disciple]

Re: Please Pray for my Testicles.


Disgusting! So I've been talking with a woman about male sex organs? I feel unclean, and I'm running for the shower right now!

[Jedediah]

Re: Please Pray for my Testicles.

Just as I was nearly done crafting an imprecatory prayer so that the LORD may strike his other gonad to reduce the chances of another colored Joobaby, I finish reading this post only to find that this is the work of a pubescent trollop?

Oh well, I guess I'll just go through and change the name to "Erin" and change "testicular cancer" to "ovarian cyst."

I will be praying fervently throughout the night.

[slipdumb92]

Re: Please Pray for my Testicles.

Once again; Please post the Scripture that backs up your claim.

God does NOT say all are equal.

God COMMANDS US to judge unsaved scum such as yourself.

Jesus will NOT forgive the unrepentant. For Scriptual evidence, see my signature.

Under God we are ALL Equal. I don't need to explain that at all.

And again with the -ad hominem-- you attack the person (that you don't know) more than their argument. Sir you don't know me! Stop trying to claim who is saved or not, you don't know or will possibly ever know. Only Jesus will.


I never said God forgives the unrepentant... I said Jesus is ready to forgive, that doesn't mean unrepentant. He is ready to forgive those that deserve it.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Please Pray for my Testicles.

Goodness, there is a lot of anger coming from you, Mr. Slipknot! Please, take a moment to breathe! I know that you aren't normally this filled with anger, and we all lose our tempers occasionally. I remember last week when I was at the local Safeway, the checker refused to respond to my "God Bless You" with the proper "May He bless you more", and let me tell you, I lost my temper more than I care to admit!

But let us all take a moment to collect ourselves....

All set? Good! That was easy

Let us take to this in a rational and sincere way:

Under God we are ALL Equal. I don't need to explain that at all.

What you may not realize, my friend, is that here we use the Bible as the end-all be-all for knowledge. I would politely request that you back up your statement with a Biblical quote. Certainly we don't claim to know everything about the Bible, just the vast majority of it. Perhaps there is a verse that you can point to (in context, mind you), that validates what you posit here? I mean, clearly you don't think that God values men and women alike, since obviously that contradicts the Bible explicitly (Leviticus 27:1-7)! But perhaps you mean in some other sense?

And again with the -ad hominem-- you attack the person (that you don't know) more than their argument. Sir you don't know me! Stop trying to claim who is saved or not, you don't know or will possibly ever know. Only Jesus will.

You seem to be taking the comments personally, my friend. Please trust me that no insult was meant: we here at Landover merely try to follow the Word of God in using our Christian Discernment(tm) to judge based on your fruits (Luke 6:44, Matthew 7:16), and, frankly, your fruits have been nothing but bitter and rotten. We obviously don't know you personally: your Department of Faith investigation has yet to be completed, and until it is, we are only able to judge on your attitude here. I am sorry that you are so taken aback by the observations made, but if you just open your heart and mind to the caring hand of Jesus, perhaps He will choose you to be remade as a Godly Christian like ourselves!

Again, based on your claim of knowing who is Saved(c) and who is not, I would ask that you explicitly back that up with Scripture. I don't mean to be a debbie-downer, but again, unless we can prove it using the King James Bible, we are unable to definitely take any statement as Fact. I hope you can understand.

I never said God forgives the unrepentant... I said Jesus is ready to forgive, that doesn't mean unrepentant. He is ready to forgive those that deserve it.

On this topic, we agree completely! See, that wasn't that hard! Again, I would ask that you are a bit more careful about citing your facts in the Bible, but at the end of the day, I think we can agree that God will forgive those that He deems worthy, and perhaps extend His exclusive gift of Salvation on those who are willing to turn from their wicked ways and prostate themselves for His Healing Ways.

Friend, I see great potential in you and I hope that you stick around. We have a truly great forum here, and the work of Jesus is evident in nearly every thread. If you stick around with an open mind and a contrite heart, you will learn a great deal about Christ, and might even join the Chosen Few (not the Jews) in Heaven someday for a Barbecue on Landover's exclusive heavenly estate

[hellsfire]

Re: Please Pray for my Testicles.

lets pray that when erin wakes up tomorrow she will have a healthy set of balls

[Jumoke]

Re: Please Pray for my Testicles.

you are finaly being rewarded for all your sins. pray that God forgives you all your sinss and you can now recover your tesitcles. sorry

[Aristotle]

Joo or trollop not welcome

Even if this misguided woman had been an injured male, Dt.23:1 would have been sufficient to reject him from the church, These 'liberal' trolls are easily expose by their ignorance of the BIBLE (KJV)