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  • #1

    Pray for poor Lyndsey

    We all need to pray for the little lost lamb, Linsey Lohan. She is going to prison. We need to send her a Bible so she can start get right with the Lord.
    Matthew:
    5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
    5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
    10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
    10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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  • #2
    Re: Pray for poor Lyndsey

    It worked for Sister Paris, surely it would work for her too!
    Posted via Prayer

    1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
    Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

    Blogging for CHRIST!
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    • #3
      Re: Pray for poor Lyndsey

      Well, what worked for Paris was when her parents contacted us, and....I suppose all that should remain confidential.

      Anyway, if the Lohans are reading this, feel free to contact us and we'll offer you the same package we offered to the Hiltons. Think about it; do you really want to see footage of her and her mexican bulldyke cellmate on You Tube? We can help.

      Oh, and get an oversized Bible in her hands, now.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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      • #4
        Re: Pray for poor Lyndsey

        I will pray for Lindsay Blowhan.

        Too bad Lindsey didn't have a good strong Christian upbringing. Full of things like, uh, rules and, umm, discipline.
        Premarital sex is only a roadblock to holiness. You don't need to touch another person's body–or your own–to have a rockin' good time!
        Abstinence: it's not easy but neither are you!

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        • #5
          Re: Pray for poor Lyndsey

          Originally posted by nikilds View Post
          I will pray for Lindsay Blowhan.

          Too bad Lindsey didn't have a good strong Christian upbringing. Full of things like, uh, rules and, umm, discipline.
          and unconditional love and forgiveness. If Jesus forgave Paris why can't we?

          Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

          Hot Must ReadThreads!


          Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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          • #6
            Re: Pray for poor Lyndsey

            Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
            If Jesus forgave Paris why can't we?
            Because we're only human, and have limits.

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            • #7
              Re: Pray for poor Lyndsey

              Paris was sentenced to 45 days. She spent less than two hours in an actual cell, and that was the celebrity upgrade. Then she went home and THEN the judge directed the Sheriff to deliver her to our custody. When it was time for her release, we sneaked her through the out-processing center and that was that. Justice was served and everyone is happy.

              Two days later, you may have seen pictures of her frolicking at Landover West, here in Hawaii. She is now a Platinum Tither and I have saved another soul. Unfortunately, Miss Lohan does not have the kind of financial backing required for Divine Intercession, so unless she makes me a really good offer, she's for the slammer.
              Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
              "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
              Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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              • #8
                Re: Pray for poor Lyndsey

                Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
                and unconditional love and forgiveness. If Jesus forgave Paris why can't we?
                Because I'm sure God doesn't have to watch her on his TV.
                Hai guiz wuts goin on in dis internet?

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