[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: Please Pray for Chronic Masturbators

HOW can i do this? What must i DO?

First, get a grip on yourself. You're putting your immortal soul in peril, and that's nothing to joke about.

Is there such thing as Redemption for me? is there a place in heaven for me...

If you ask Jesus sincerely, yes. Otherwise, no.

will i see those souls i have butchered?

Yes, if you're not saved, you will see them in Hell, and they are going to be mightily pissed off.

Will they then embrace me?

No, the demons are very jealous, so they won't let the other "guests" embrace you or their other their sex toys. They say that you get used to the constant sodomy after a few million years, so I suppose you will have something to look forward to.

I have a question for one of the pastors here. A boy in our church asked this. If you are masterbaiting to prevent you from fornicating, then is the masterbaiting OK then?

Masterbaiting isn't always sinful. It all depends on whose master he is baiting and why. Masturbating, however, is a sin, as Pastor Ezekiel pointed out, and will get him damned to Hell just as surely as would fornication. At least, that's what the good pastor told me when I asked.

I'm convinced that a hard days work in the fields will cure even the horniest of any desire to please themselves.

Excellent! That's just the thing. This guy needs a tour of duty at Brother Marshall's Bible Bootcamp!

I hope you stick around, Mr. Hackwith.

Me 2.

Although praying helps stop the urge to abuse one's self. Using Handz Off Anti-mastubatory cream and gum almost guarantees results.

Another great suggestion. Those should come in handy.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Please Pray for Chronic Masturbators

I'm convinced that a hard days work in the fields will cure even the horniest of any desire to please themselves.

Godly words friend. With Jesus we can beat this masturbation problem!

[Cheshire]

Re: Please Pray for Chronic Masturbators

For women, if you get the urge to masturbate(God forbid) then just go make your Godly husband five more pies, clean the kitchen and bathroom(s), then put on some Handz off cream.

Any other suggestions?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Please Pray for Chronic Masturbators

[James Hutchins]

Re: Please Pray for Chronic Masturbators

During my travels with Pastor Ezekiel, we have come across many young boys that could not let go of their penises (the boys each had one penis but there were many boys). These taught young men, with just the hint of manly peach fuzz on their bodies would spray Man Seed® everywhere. Many would masturbate right in front of The Godly Pastor and me. Can you imagine?
I've spent a lot of time researching this phenomenon along with expending a lot of energy and effort. Some say I am an expert on the subject.
Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Colossians 3:5
Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:

1 Corinthians 6:18
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body

[biatch77]

Re: Please Pray for Chronic Masturbators

If this is helpful then I must get some, or find something comparable to it. My first impression is that this might be helpful to me, please.
Do you know where I can purchase some "Handz Off Anti-mastubatory cream" and gum?

I like your confidence, as you say it "almost guarantees results"

So it sounds very promising to me.

And if it is too expensive or I cannot find it, do you have something similar that might work just as well?

I'd like to offer my advise on this unsavory subject.

Although praying helps stop the urge to abuse one's self. Using Handz Off Anti-mastubatory cream and gum almost guarantees results.











These products are available at the Landover Commissary.



Lve, Sister Thumper