Please pray for my legal defense.

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Brothers and Sisters in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,

I find myself beset on all sides by iniquity, and I am both persecuted and prosecuted by atheists and devil worshipers.

Last Friday evening, I took my rod and my Bible downtown to witness to the drug addicts and prostitutes so that they might see the truth of Jesus and repent of their sinful ways. I admit that I am not as successful as I would like, but I lack the same gift for preaching as the Pastors here at Landover. In any case, on Friday night, one prostitute seemed particularly receptive to the Word of God, and we stepped into an alley to pray. The power of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, must have entered her at that moment, because the prostitute fell on her knees before me, with her mouth open in praise, and her face awash in what I assume was the Holy Spirit, while I stood there with my KJV Bible in one hand and my rod in the other.

Unfortunately, an atheist policeman arrived and arrested us both for solicitation. The unholy District Attorney has decided to prosecute, however, I know that my actions were just in the eyes of the Lord since He did not smite me with rapists or athlete's foot the three days I spent in the county jail.

Brothers and Sisters, I ask that you pray with me that the Lord will provide for my legal defense, and the the judge presiding over the case will be a Christian who understands the importance of witnessing to the unsaved.

Yours in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,
Yeshua

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Please pray for my legal defense.

Your situation sounds very serious indeed. I'm very happy to help you out in the most effective way I know how. With our prayers behind you, I am 100% confident you'll be out of there in no time!

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: Please pray for my legal defense.

Don’t get me started about falsehood of the so-called sickular “legal system”, Mr. Jessup.

I’ve already told the story about my prosecution and tribulation – only because the blunder of sickular court and corrupted “judge”. I’ll repeat: I don’t know how that man got in the trunk of my car; I never saw him before; it wasn’t me (but heat and lack of air); the bastard had it coming!

...I am 100% confident you'll be out of there in no time!

I would have no doubts in that if only he would be tried at the Freehold’s court, alas this is not the case. I know, we are commanded to follow secular laws…

Hebrews 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

… but I long for that day, when wothless sickular laws are abolished and the Biblical Rule is introduced. *sigh*

YiC, DUH

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Please pray for my legal defense.

You wonder what kind of idiots work for the legal system. Every time some blonde teen goes missing, some transvestite hooker gets raped and beaten or some nosy report ends up naked and dead on Interstate 80 the Iowa Department of Public Safety shows up in Freehold asking questions. You listen on one of those Iowa DPS investigators all our pastors have a secret fetish for drag queens, most of the laity kidnap their wives and the KKK is scared of the church security detail.

Were do they get this nonsense?

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Please pray for my legal defense.

We've all been there, friend. It's almost like there is a conspiracy among non-Freehold police departments to follow True Christians™ around and conjure up some trumped up solicitation charges.

I hope you find comfort in these verses:

(1 Peter 4:1-2) "Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin; That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God."



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Please pray for my legal defense.

God knows how many times I've been wrongfully arrested for solicitation! I know exactly how you feel brother and I will be praying for you.

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Re: Please pray for my legal defense.

Thank you all, Brothers, for praying for me in my hour of need. I've prayed nonstop since this event, and I can feel the comfort offered by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, in my time of sorrows.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Please pray for my legal defense.

Thank you all, Brothers, for praying for me in my hour of need. I've prayed nonstop since this event, and I can feel the comfort offered by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, in my time of sorrows.

Well don't let the cops try one of those stunts were they claim they "know" you did it because "All harlots must for spreading the gay germ" was written in blood on the wall. I am sick and tired of the authorities always accusing us TRUE Christians(tm) anytime some rouge Christian loses it and starts shooting at demons in some pre-school.

It's pure persecution.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Please pray for my legal defense.

I'll take up a collection of prayers for you from the brethren here in Texas, bro. Yusuf. What sound church of Jesus Christ wouldn't deeply feel for a man led of the Lord to take a sinning, blaspheming female into a dark alley and show her the God she has mocked?

Your labors are not in vain in the Lord (I Cor. 15:18). "Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution." (2 Timothy 3:12)

[Nobar King]

Re: Please pray for my legal defense.

I didn't really read your story, but at least three other Christians are praying for you so I will, too.

I hope that helped.

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Re: Please pray for my legal defense.

Thank you, Pastor Ed and Brother Nobar. I'll be remembering you in my prayers as well, as will Honey the Recently Saved Whore. She's currently trying to track down her father to ask for permission to join us here at Landover.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Please pray for my legal defense.

Thank you, Pastor Ed and Brother Nobar. I'll be remembering you in my prayers as well, as will Honey the Recently Saved Whore. She's currently trying to track down her father to ask for permission to join us here at Landover.

Friend,

You are not a part of Landover Baptist Church. While those earnestly seeking Salvation(tm) love to see themselves as part of us perfect people, let's be honest instead. Thanks.

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Re: Please pray for my legal defense.

My apologies, Reverend Jim. I only intended 'us' as part of the forums here. In my haste to get back to Bible Study and prayer, I was unclear in my words.

I hold no delusions that I am not yet a True Christian™ worthy of Salvation™, but I hold on to the sincere hope that through the Grace of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I will one day walk the path of righteousness with the good people of Freehold.

[xXGodIsntRealXx]

Re: Please pray for my legal defense.

YOUR ALL FUCK HEADS THE LEGAL SYSTEM IS RIGHT U JUST WANTED A BJ DIDNT U BUD

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Re: Please pray for my legal defense.

I would indeed enjoy a good BJ (as I think most of the men on this forum would), but I do not have a good Christian woman to provide.

Aside from that, boysenberries are out of season, so I can't imagine anyone is making boysenberry jam right now.