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  • Deaner
    Christ's Love Messenger
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 5932

    #91
    Re: Please Pray that I get a kinky threesome with the Olsen Twins

    Originally posted by iamsaved View Post
    Yes Jesus is my friend and I have said the salvation prayer. I read from the 1611 King James Bible. Could you show me your prayer?
    The Salvation Prayer it is then friend; let us bow our heads together in submissiveness and repentance to Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ...

    Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus, I present myself to you
    I pray and ask Jesus to be the Lord over my life.
    I believe it in my heart, so I say it with my mouth:
    "Jesus has been raised from the dead."
    This moment, I make him the Lord over my life.
    Jesus, come into my heart.
    I believe at this moment that I am saved.
    I say it now: " I am reborn.
    I am a Christian.
    I am a child of Almighty God."

    Comment

    • iamsaved
      Unsaved trash
      Under Investigation
      • Mar 2008
      • 3

      #92
      Re: Please Pray that I get a kinky threesome with the Olsen Twins

      Originally posted by Deaner View Post
      The Salvation Prayer it is then friend; let us bow our heads together in submissiveness and repentance to Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ...

      Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus, I present myself to you
      I pray and ask Jesus to be the Lord over my life.
      I believe it in my heart, so I say it with my mouth:
      "Jesus has been raised from the dead."
      This moment, I make him the Lord over my life.
      Jesus, come into my heart.
      I believe at this moment that I am saved.
      I say it now: " I am reborn.
      I am a Christian.
      I am a child of Almighty God."
      I said your prayer and meant it. Thanks for sharing it.
      "Dear Lord Jesus Christ please forgive me of all my sins. I'm sorry for all my sins and I want to obey and love you. Lord Jesus Christ I believe you died on the cross for all my sins and I believe God raised you from the Dead. Thank you Lord Jesus Christ for forgiving me of all my sins and saving me from Hell. Please come into my life and thank you for loving me. Amen."

      Comment

      • Seeker
        Thank you Pastor Pistle!
        Forum Member
        • Aug 2007
        • 966

        #93
        Re: Please Pray that I get a kinky threesome with the Olsen Twins

        Originally posted by Deaner View Post
        The Salvation Prayer it is then friend; let us bow our heads together in submissiveness and repentance to Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ...

        Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus, I present myself to you
        I pray and ask Jesus to be the Lord over my life.
        I believe it in my heart, so I say it with my mouth:
        "Jesus has been raised from the dead."
        This moment, I make him the Lord over my life.
        Jesus, come into my heart.
        I believe at this moment that I am saved.
        I say it now: " I am reborn.
        I am a Christian.
        I am a child of Almighty God."
        Deaner, what a beautiful prayer. This is one I need to say every Sunday night before the potluck dinner.

        If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78556

          #94
          Re: Please Pray that I get a kinky threesome with the Olsen Twins

          Maybe Chuckie is actually THIS guy.

          Man allegedly starts fire for movement

          ST. GEORGE, Utah - A 21-year-old man was arrested Thursday morning on suspicion of illegally burning various household items in the middle of the street.

          Officer Rich Triplett, with the St. George Police Department, said he got a call about a man, Cody Alan Cox, who was allegedly burning things near 2160 W. 1710 North.

          "There was cardboard spread up and down the street with wet paint and in the middle of the street was a pile of household items on fire," Triplett said. "This guy was standing in front of the fire throwing chairs on the fire."

          Triplett said he asked Cox what he was doing, and Cox replied he was starting a movement.

          "I asked him what the movement was about, and he said for what he believes in," he said. "I asked him what he believes in, and he said Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen and Toby Keith."

          Triplett said Cox listed several other people but Triplett couldn't remember all of them.

          "I arrested him for reckless burning," he said.

          Triplett added that Cox allegedly admitted to having one glass of wine and an energy drink, but was not intoxicated. He also appeared to not be medicated.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • Sperman
            Confirmed Enemy of God
            BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
            • Apr 2008
            • 31

            #95
            Re: Please Pray that I get a kinky threesome with the Olsen Twins

            Uhhhh.... guys, it been lik 2 hole months, an ave not so much as had a sniff of the Olsen twins lunchbuckets! What up wi that? Ah been prayin to God an all that shit lik u said, an still nothin'.

            When's that asshat gonna hook me up wi a hot Olsen-sandwich???

            Comment

            • Magikarp
              hateful Danish communis
              Forum Member
              • Apr 2008
              • 266

              #96
              Re: Please Pray that I get a kinky threesome with the Olsen Twins

              Originally posted by Sperman View Post
              Uhhhh.... guys, it been like 2 whole months, and I've not so much as had a sniff of the Olsen twin's lunchbuckets! What's up with that? I've been praying to God and all that poop like you said, and still nothing.

              When's that asshat gonna hook me up with a hot Olsen-sandwich???
              Lmao, seriously? The Olsen twins are anything but hot.

              Now take Pamela Anderson for example....
              Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

              Comment

              • undevinelust
                Unsaved trash
                 
                • May 2008
                • 27

                #97
                Re: Please Pray that I get a kinky threesome with the Olsen Twins

                Originally posted by ChuckieGirl666 View Post
                Dear Bible humping virgins,

                Please pray to God for me, that he let me hav a kinky 3-some with the hot Olsen Twins!

                Honestly, I doubt any of u sad Bible banger lossers hav been laid in ur entire lives. An if u hav, it was prob in the missionary position wi the lights out lik the dickless pussy wimps u all are. LMAO. Tho I hear u Priests prefer little boys!

                Please also pray that I don get anymor of those nasty infaction points, as they suck ass!
                my sister in sin and i are both lesbians and well we would like to have the olsen twins too. dripping in blood of course then licking every inch of them clean.

                Comment

                • Bobby-Joe
                  Landover Security Superviser
                  Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                  NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 18405

                  #98
                  Re: Please Pray that I get a kinky threesome with the Olsen Twins

                  Originally posted by undevinelust View Post
                  my sister in sin and i are both lesbians and well we would like to have the olsen twins too. dripping in blood of course then licking every inch of them clean.
                  We are quite aware of the Wicca practice of lesbian clitoris anal rape and spreading AIDs between each other with your tainted blood. There is no need to for you to disgust us with the details.

                  Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                  Hot Must ReadThreads!


                  Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                  Comment

                  • Justina Thyme
                    Exposing DEMONS for Jesus
                    True Christian™
                    • Dec 2007
                    • 1718

                    #99
                    Re: Please Pray that I get a kinky threesome with the Olsen Twins

                    Brothers and Sisters, there is a site that may help in a case like this. Please follow this link:



                    Scroll to the bottom and you'll see a link called "Light a Candle." If you'll click on that, you'll be taken to a page where you may light a candle for the Olsen twins, as I have. If enough of us do this, we may be able to banish this DEMON and save these girls from a fate worse than goth!

                    Here is the prayer I submitted:

                    Olsen Twins O God, please keep these young girls safe from the DEMON known as Sperman. We beseech You in the Name of Your only begotten Son, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen. Justina Thyme 05/12/2008
                    Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

                    1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

                    A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
                    Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

                    LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27

                    sigpic



                    Comment

                    • undevinelust
                      Unsaved trash
                       
                      • May 2008
                      • 27

                      #100
                      Re: Please Pray that I get a kinky threesome with the Olsen Twins

                      Originally posted by Justina Thyme View Post
                      Brothers and Sisters, there is a site that may help in a case like this. Please follow this link:



                      Scroll to the bottom and you'll see a link called "Light a Candle." If you'll click on that, you'll be taken to a page where you may light a candle for the Olsen twins, as I have. If enough of us do this, we may be able to banish this DEMON and save these girls from a fate worse than goth!

                      Here is the prayer I submitted:

                      Olsen Twins O God, please keep these young girls safe from the DEMON known as Sperman. We beseech You in the Name of Your only begotten Son, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen. Justina Thyme 05/12/2008
                      like thats going to help !!!

                      Comment

                      • eliot mayfield
                        God Squad
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 9324

                        #101
                        Re: Please Pray that I get a kinky threesome with the Olsen Twins

                        Originally posted by undevinelust View Post
                        like thats going to help !!!
                        Prayer can do anything! That's why we pray for you and your soul.
                        Matthew:
                        5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
                        5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
                        10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
                        10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


                        sigpic

                        Comment

                        • louie the tranny
                          Unsaved trash
                          Under Investigation
                          • May 2008
                          • 5

                          #102
                          Re: Please Pray that I get a kinky threesome with the Olsen Twins

                          to be sane is insanity

                          "To the delirious eye, more lovely things of Paradise and Love-and all our own. Than young Hope in his sunniest hour hath known"-Edgar Allan Poe
                          Save me please!

                          Comment

                          • Bobby-Joe
                            Landover Security Superviser
                            Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                            NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 18405

                            #103
                            Re: Please Pray that I get a kinky threesome with the Olsen Twins

                            Originally posted by louella2005 View Post
                            to be sane is insanity

                            "To the delirious eye, more lovely things of Paradise and Love-and all our own. Than young Hope in his sunniest hour hath known"-Edgar Allan Poe
                            Are you inviting us to comment on your blog?

                            Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                            Hot Must ReadThreads!


                            Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                            Comment

                            • Sperman
                              Confirmed Enemy of God
                              BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                              • Apr 2008
                              • 31

                              #104
                              Re: Please Pray that I get a kinky threesome with the Olsen Twins

                              Pleas also pray that God take away the restrainin order the Olsen twins hav agains me. It sucks ass!

                              Comment

                              • Enigmatic Harpo Marx
                                Resident ex-satanist
                                True Christian™
                                • Nov 2007
                                • 488

                                #105
                                Re: Please Pray that I get a kinky threesome with the Olsen Twins

                                Originally posted by Sperman View Post
                                Pleas also pray that God take away the restrainin order the Olsen twins hav agains me. It sucks ass!
                                Chuckygirl!?! Someone please tell me that this is not the same person. I was having such a nice day....
                                Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death, I will fear no evil...

                                Comment

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