Size Matters

[Old Man Hatchet]

Many men today are worried about the size of their tallywackers. They're mangling their manhood with fiendish contraptions . . .



. . . and swallowing pills to gain an inch or two.



I'm baffled as to why a man would be concerned about the dimensions of his pecker. It's the coconuts that matter. They house "spermatozoa," which are tiny human beings. The bigger your grapefruit, the more tiny Christians you're producing. Why is this important? Women are inherently evil and have a horde of tiny demons inside of them waiting to kill your diminutive friends; therefore, you want to amass as large an army as possible to conquer your wife's uterus and set up shop. Also, it's a fact that women are turned off by jumbo-sized jimmies, but love colossal nutsacks.

So to summarize, gentlemen: it's not the cue stick--it's the billiard balls. Praise Jesus.

[Nobar King]

Re: Size Matters

That's why I eat lots of beef, brother Hatchet. Beef have big balls, right?

Also, wearing boxers is critical for spermatozoa development.

Male infertility and the causes –
does wearing boxer shorts really
make a difference?

The production of sperm by the te****les
occurs best at a temperature less than body
temperature, which is why in evolutionary
terms the te****les hang outside the body
cavity. T****s that are closer to the body
(in jockey shorts) may be warmer and this
may affect s***m production.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Size Matters

The production of sperm by the te****les
occurs best at a temperature less than body
temperature, which is why in evolutionary
terms the te****les hang outside the body
cavity. T****s that are closer to the body
(in jockey shorts) may be warmer and this
may affect s***m production.

Temperature shmemperature. Sounds like scientific gobbledygook to me. If your spermatozoa production is poor, then God's probably mad at you. It has nothing to do with how close your fellas are to your body, but rather how close you are to God. Amen.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Size Matters

I think this chap almost has an embarrassment of riches.



(Note, this video is for educational purposes only. Females and those of a nervous disposition should look away at something pleasant. It shows how God may bless even an apparent heathen with truly immense fertility. Further the video is in foreign - probably Belgican.)

[Joshua Brooks]

Re: Size Matters

Many men today are worried about the size of their tallywackers. They're mangling their manhood with fiendish contraptions . . .



. . . and swallowing pills to gain an inch or two.



I'm baffled as to why a man would be concerned about the dimensions of his pecker. It's the coconuts that matter. They house "spermatozoa," which are tiny human beings. The bigger your grapefruit, the more tiny Christians you're producing. Why is this important? Women are inherently evil and have a horde of tiny demons inside of them waiting to kill your diminutive friends; therefore, you want to amass as large an army as possible to conquer your wife's uterus and set up shop. Also, it's a fact that women are turned off by jumbo-sized jimmies, but love colossal nutsacks.

So to summarize, gentlemen: it's not the cue stick--it's the billiard balls. Praise Jesus.

What is the proper diet for cultivating large Godly testicles, Brother Hatchet? Being an ex-negro I've retain the length of the negro tallywhacker, even though I've shed the sexually deviant control it once held over me, but my testicles are lacking in proper True Christian magnitude.

I think this chap almost has an embarrassment of riches.



(Note, this video is for educational purposes only. Females and those of a nervous disposition should look away at something pleasant. It shows how God may bless even an apparent heathen with truly immense fertility. Further the video is in foreign - probably Belgican.)

I've learned a score of knowledge from my time working with the LBU Creation Science Department. That heathens testicles are filled with nothing but demonic seed. That dirty foreigner is Satan's tool to birth genuine demons into human form bodies.

Do you know how this filthy pseudo humans become the harbingers of evil? By consuming the placenta of cattle they gather after the birth of new calves. It's repulsive.

[Ebenezer Wright]

Re: Size Matters

I think this chap almost has an embarrassment of riches.



(Note, this video is for educational purposes only. Females and those of a nervous disposition should look away at something pleasant. It shows how God may bless even an apparent heathen with truly immense fertility. Further the video is in foreign - probably Belgican.)

I feel as if this man must have mocked the Lord in some way, because clearly the Lord had to make a mockery of him! Having another man carry his "package" seems very shameful.

[Thundermaned]

Re: Size Matters

First of all shame on me for being a non-believer, yeah I know I will burn in hell, whatever

Anyway....

I do not believe your anatomy is dependent on God, if there was a god of course.
Your body is mater and can be manipulated by outside mater, thus those pills and stuff.
Little fact, your wanker has the potential to grow remember?
I do believe having faith in something, like God, if its a very hard will, you can manipulate your anatomy with your mind.
This is of course if you look it through my interpretation.

And how does one know what is good and what is bad, maybe god wants you to your little one to get bigger?
I can't recall anything in the bible about your phallus?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Size Matters

First of all shame on me for being a non-believer, yeah I know I will burn in hell, whatever

I can't recall anything in the bible about your phallus?

Why do I suspect you've never read it?

Once you've read the Bible, if you're still a non-believer, then all I can say is, "enjoy Hell!"

However, I think you'll change your mind. You'll recognize the Love of Jesus in His offer of Salvation from eternal torture in His very own Lake of Fiery Torment.

Why the obsession with testicle and tallywhacker size? Are you some sort of homersexural?

[Abu Obama]

Re: Size Matters

The sacred mini-muslims flowing through the mainly Muslim male's masculinity are holy to Allah. Their mission is to infiltrate the harlot's egg and blow up into a solider of Allah of female suicide bomber. If you slay one sperm, it is the same as killing a million people.

You westerners think you are following the bible. We have news to you! Our book makes yours look like Sesame street show. You have B.A.S.H. we have all Al-Aqsa Martyrs brigade! You haven't burned a witch in 20 years!! We burn witches in Sudan every day!

[Warrior of God]

Re: Size Matters

The sacred mini-muslims flowing through the mainly Muslim male's masculinity are holy to Allah. Their mission is to infiltrate the harlot's egg and blow up into a solider of Allah of female suicide bomber. If you slay one sperm, it is the same as killing a million people.

You westerners think you are following the bible. We have news to you! Our book makes yours look like Sesame street show. You have B.A.S.H. we have all Al-Aqsa Martyrs brigade! You haven't burned a witch in 20 years!! We burn witches in Sudan every day!

I have brought 7.62 mm salvation to many of your godless heathen kind.
By your own heretical post this means I have saved the world from billions of your diseased scourgelike kinds' stain.
Billions ,all for a simple contraction of a God-fearing finger.
Hallelujah ...
Even whilst damning you to eternal hellfire for being a base and blasphemous depridation , I must in part thankyou for reminding me of how I have helped progress the Crusade to limit your heathen kind and heir Godless ways.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Size Matters

What is the proper diet for cultivating large Godly testicles, Brother Hatchet?

Avoid soya and tofu at all costs. The only reason God put soya on this earth is to prevent hippies from breeding. I've also heard that soya gives you knee cancer, as well as giving you stones like ballbearings.

[thebigone]

Re: Size Matters

well the first "Contraption" cleans fish tanks...

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Size Matters

Avoid soya and tofu at all costs. The only reason God put soya on this earth is to prevent hippies from breeding. I've also heard that soya gives you knee cancer, as well as giving you stones like ballbearings.

And it makes you a homer!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Size Matters

The sacred mini-muslims flowing through the mainly Muslim male's masculinity are holy to Allah. Their mission is to infiltrate the harlot's egg and blow up into a solider of Allah of female suicide bomber. If you slay one sperm, it is the same as killing a million people.

So what you're saying is, if I want to exterminate millions of God-hating Muslims, all I have to do is toss your testicles into a blender?



Would you like to come to the church for a nice post-service teabag?

[Warrior of God]

Re: Size Matters

So what you're saying is, if I want to exterminate millions of God-hating Muslims, all I have to do is toss your testicles into a blender?



Would you like to come to the church for a nice post-service teabag?

With respect Reverend,
but with name like abu obummer, I would imagine he nancies around in one of those long gowns , they call cultural attire, and we call long dresses.

That might well mean , like with most of his heathen kind, we might have one hell of a job finding a pair anywhere on him.

I would suggest the first place to look might be his handbag/purse.
Wouldn't surprise me if the whole lot of those effeminate, terrorist, cross-dressers are just hairy women...
I now they squeal like a girl when you slot one of them...
We would clip one of them so he/she would roll around crying and bawling, then when his girlfriends came rushing out to drag his over-used ass away we would pop a few more...and ,stupid , they never learned ...

Veil on, veil off, probably no difference , can't tell one from another cos both genders have full beards...
That's probably why they all want to come conquer more christian countries...
so they can access a stock of pure and pretty womenfolk who don't all look like a camel's ass.('scuse me there)...

Can't see why all those persians and arabs moan on about ethnic cleansing ... They walk round with their towels on their heads and it wouldn't hurt them to take a bath every other year or so.