Test your wife.

[Bill Poole]

Men, I've recently been shown something by the LORD that I'd like to share with you.

We all know the importance of disciplining the women in our lives, particularly our wives. But is the regular beating after an infraction enough? I say not, Men of Landover!

Here is what I do with my wife Jean:

* Regular beatings after infractions (of course).
* Pre-emptive whippings. Get to your wife before she has committed a crime like burning your steak. Then you will never have to suffer her incompetence and foolery.
* TEST HER! Women are like goldfish: stupid and forgetful. Hide an object of yours, then tell her to find it. A good wife will pray to Jesus, who will tell her its location.

* Cover your wife with Godly phrases, such as "You must obey me!""Get thee hither into the kitchen!" and "Service me, now!". If she does not do as you ask immediately, this is a sign she is not in True Submission, and that she hates God. She must get a beating.

PRAISE!

[christain-goth]

Re: Test your wife.

That's domestic abuse, you treat her like a dog.

[Bill Poole]

Re: Test your wife.

I believe my wife has written a piece about "abuse" in the Landover Help Forum. Why don't you refer to it, and stop interfering in a Godly True Christian™ marriage, Stained Soul?

[Nobar King]

Re: Test your wife.

This couple is a shining example of cooperation and devotion. Anyone who says otherwise is just jealous.

[Jimmy-Roy Stewart]

Re: Test your wife.

Im' so glad i can get to this web sight its' amazing what you plantium tithers know i can tell im' going to learn allot from you folks.

[Ebenezer Wright]

Re: Test your wife.

This couple is a shining example of cooperation and devotion. Anyone who says otherwise is just jealous.

Amen brother! I am sick and tired of people whining over their failed and miserable marriages! If they would just do as God tells them, they wouldn't have this problem!

[peusaman]

Re: Test your wife.

Men, I've recently been shown something by the LORD that I'd like to share with you.

We all know the importance of disciplining the women in our lives, particularly our wives. But is the regular beating after an infraction enough? I say not, Men of Landover!

Here is what I do with my wife Jean:

* Regular beatings after infractions (of course).
* Pre-emptive whippings. Get to your wife before she has committed a crime like burning your steak. Then you will never have to suffer her incompetence and foolery.
* TEST HER! Women are like goldfish: stupid and forgetful. Hide an object of yours, then tell her to find it. A good wife will pray to Jesus, who will tell her its location.

* Cover your wife with Godly phrases, such as "You must obey me!""Get thee hither into the kitchen!" and "Service me, now!". If she does not do as you ask immediately, this is a sign she is not in True Submission, and that she hates God. She must get a beating.

PRAISE!

Burning your steak is a crime? You are definitely high maintenance, more so than any woman I've ever known.

[Nobar King]

Re: Test your wife.

What do you tell your mum when she burns your dinner?

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Test your wife.

This couple is a shining example of cooperation and devotion. Anyone who says otherwise is just jealous.

I'm certainly jealous Brother! It's been a long time since I've know the touch of a woman, and I've never known True Christian™ love.

Perhaps someday the Lord will bless me. But for now I will keep seeking my satisfaction alone, with only thoughts of Jesus to comfort me! Praise!

[Melbran]

Re: Test your wife.

Men, I've recently been shown something by the LORD that I'd like to share with you.

We all know the importance of disciplining the women in our lives, particularly our wives. But is the regular beating after an infraction enough? I say not, Men of Landover!

Here is what I do with my wife Jean:

* Regular beatings after infractions (of course).
* Pre-emptive whippings. Get to your wife before she has committed a crime like burning your steak. Then you will never have to suffer her incompetence and foolery.
* TEST HER! Women are like goldfish: stupid and forgetful. Hide an object of yours, then tell her to find it. A good wife will pray to Jesus, who will tell her its location.

* Cover your wife with Godly phrases, such as "You must obey me!""Get thee hither into the kitchen!" and "Service me, now!". If she does not do as you ask immediately, this is a sign she is not in True Submission, and that she hates God. She must get a beating.

PRAISE!

Hahahahahaha!!! "Hide an object of yours, then tell her to find it. A good wife will pray to Jesus, who will tell her its location"....are you serious? I think God has much better things to do with His time. You may believe women are subject to their husbands, but where in the bible does it say that women are stupid and forgetful like goldfish? Oh that's right, it doesn't. Are you forgetting all the women in history who have done good?
Madame Curie, Joan of Arc, Rosa Parks, Louisa May Alcott, Mother Theresa (who preached love and the importance of family), Betsy Ross, the list goes on. If God forbid you ever fall deathly ill, I hope a woman doctor saves your life.

[Ebenezer Wright]

Re: Test your wife.

Hahahahahaha!!! "Hide an object of yours, then tell her to find it. A good wife will pray to Jesus, who will tell her its location"....are you serious? I think God has much better things to do with His time.

John 15:7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.

God is omnipotent and all-powerful! He can talk to all of us at once if He wants! God asks us to pray to Him for all things, He also tells us to pray daily! Who are you to say that God is too busy for our prayers? Can you please provide some proof for your outrageous claims?

[Melbran]

Re: Test your wife.

John 15:7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.

God is omnipotent and all-powerful! He can talk to all of us at once if He wants! God asks us to pray to Him for all things, He also tells us to pray daily! Who are you to say that God is too busy for our prayers? Can you please provide some proof for your outrageous claims?

Right after you tell me where in the bible it says women are like gold fish

[SamsonsBrother]

Re: Test your wife.

This cult of yours is truly from Satan himself. You are no better than the Imans in Iran and Iraq who abuse women. Pretty tough guys eh? Tough enough to beat a woman. What a piece of human debris, a gutless wonder for sure. You have to beat a woman to get sex? You are the exact opposite of a Godly man. Satan is loving you guys. You are his minons.

[Melbran]

Re: Test your wife.

Ephesians 6:28-30: So (also) husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, because WE are members of his body

Colossians 3:18-19: Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness towards them.

[Osambo 08]

Re: Test your wife.

Ephesians 6:28-30: So (also) husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, because WE are members of his body

Colossians 3:18-19: Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness towards them.

They are beatng them out of love.