[Melbran]

Re: Test your wife.

They are beatng them out of love.

Ah yes, of course. How silly of me.

[Ebenezer Wright]

Re: Test your wife.

Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Colossians 3:18
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

Ephesians 5:24
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

We love our wives, they are human, and a gift from God. But God also tells us not to spare the rod. We correct them in love and ask that they subject themselves unto us.

If a woman sins, she should be corrected by her husband as she is his burden. And if the method of correction is not strict, there is a good chance of a repeat offense.

In todays day and age, marriage isn't what it used to be. Gays, retards, and unChristian families have ruined it and brought about equal rights for everyone. Where in the Bible does it say we should be equal? Nowhere, in fact it states the opposite.

Just because you can't handle the Christian lifestyle and being obedient to your husband. Does not give you the right to mock the original and true meaning of marriage.

WIVES SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS AS THE LORD COMMANDS! AND ACCEPT THEIR CORRECTIONS WITH LOVE!

[Ebenezer Wright]

Re: Test your wife.

John 15:7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.

God is omnipotent and all-powerful! He can talk to all of us at once if He wants! God asks us to pray to Him for all things, He also tells us to pray daily! Who are you to say that God is too busy for our prayers? Can you please provide some proof for your outrageous claims?

Now Melbrono, would you please tell me the proof you have for the ridiculous claims you made earlier. Or will you just admit to being a false prophet?

[Melbran]

Re: Test your wife.

Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Colossians 3:18
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

Ephesians 5:24
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

We love our wives, they are human, and a gift from God. But God also tells us not to spare the rod. We correct them in love and ask that they subject themselves unto us.

If a woman sins, she should be corrected by her husband as she is his burden. And if the method of correction is not strict, there is a good chance of a repeat offense.

In todays day and age, marriage isn't what it used to be. Gays, retards, and unChristian families have ruined it and brought about equal rights for everyone. Where in the Bible does it say we should be equal? Nowhere, in fact it states the opposite.

Just because you can't handle the Christian lifestyle and being obedient to your husband. Does not give you the right to mock the original and true meaning of marriage.

WIVES SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS AS THE LORD COMMANDS! AND ACCEPT THEIR CORRECTIONS WITH LOVE!

I handle my Christian lifestyle just fine. I firmly believe that a man is head of his household, but his wife stands by his side. Not below or behind him. Decisions in my household are made together, my opinion is just as important as my husbands. And I don't call it "love" when you beat a woman for burning your steak. Communication, love and forgiveness are key ingredients in running a successful household. Not fear, beatings and tyranny. I find it quite amusing that you think the only way a Christian marriage can survive is through abuse. Ridiculous. Anything you "pastors" quote from the bible has to do only in a man's favor which I call "selective quoting". Though the bible does say that a woman should be subject to her husband, this does not mean the same as being a slave to him. Or being treated like a dog. And I will back up my previous statement once you tell me where in the bible it says women are stupid & forgetful like goldfish

[SamsonsBrother]

Re: Test your wife.

I think that Sara Palin is smarter than any poster on this entire forum. I really doubt if she has ever had to be "corrected". I also think she could kick your sorry behinds if you ever attempted to do so.

If you were the real leader that you want to be, your wife would gladly follow you. But to beat her into submission? And to do that in the name of serving god? You must be one sick puppy.

Do you also beat your children in the name of religion? probably....

How about your dog, do you beat that poor hound?

I think you should find some other way to overcome the intense frustration that you have in your life. Maybe beat yourself. Maybe give that little piece of manhood a little loving, reduce the stress level around the home.

I look forward to attending your church someday. Then you can meet me and try to beat me if you want to. How about that? Meanwhile, just go beat the .

[Kinetic]

Re: Test your wife.

Men, I've recently been shown something by the LORD that I'd like to share with you.

We all know the importance of disciplining the women in our lives, particularly our wives. But is the regular beating after an infraction enough? I say not, Men of Landover!

Here is what I do with my wife Jean:

* Regular beatings after infractions (of course).
* Pre-emptive whippings. Get to your wife before she has committed a crime like burning your steak. Then you will never have to suffer her incompetence and foolery.
* TEST HER! Women are like goldfish: stupid and forgetful. Hide an object of yours, then tell her to find it. A good wife will pray to Jesus, who will tell her its location.

* Cover your wife with Godly phrases, such as "You must obey me!""Get thee hither into the kitchen!" and "Service me, now!". If she does not do as you ask immediately, this is a sign she is not in True Submission, and that she hates God. She must get a beating.

PRAISE!

This is a joke website right? Cause I was laughing my self silly about the harry potter thread, but you guys are just joking about beating you wives right?

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Test your wife.

This is a joke website right? Cause I was laughing my self silly about the harry potter thread, but you guys are just joking about beating you wives right?

We are deadly serious about loving Jesus sir! And this "website" as you call it is only part of the Godly massive undertaking that is Landover Baptist and the town of Freehold, Iowa.

[Kinetic]

Re: Test your wife.

We are deadly serious about loving Jesus sir! And this "website" as you call it is only part of the Godly massive undertaking that is Landover Baptist and the town of Freehold, Iowa.

wow, well first off I meant no disrespect by calling this uh.. website a website it the only word i know for it. secondly Wow you guys beat your wives? i wonder if i should inform someone about this. this is hate mongering and abuse I have been a part of gods church since before i could walk and i have never heard of wife beatings before. i always thought that all Christians tried to be Christ like, and in all the stuff I’ve read I’ve never heard of him beating women. I usably make it a point to beat up men who hit girls. wow I hope I never meet any of you.

[Osambo 08]

Re: Test your wife.

wow, well first off I meant no disrespect by calling this uh.. website a website it the only word i know for it. secondly Wow you guys beat your wives? i wonder if i should inform someone about this. this is hate mongering and abuse I have been a part of gods church since before i could walk and i have never heard of wife beatings before. i always thought that all Christians tried to be Christ like, and in all the stuff I’ve read I’ve never heard of him beating women. I usably make it a point to beat up men who hit girls. wow I hope I never meet any of you.

It's difficult to comprehend the intricate mind of a deranged sadist.Let them be wicked cowards.God will judge them soon.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Test your wife.

. . . wow I hope I never meet any of you.

Well at least we can agree on that! I hope to never meet you either, you ignorant, hellbound queer!

Women need guidance, boy. Because of their feeble minds, the best way to guide them is physically. You can't reason with a horse, can you? No, you have to break them down, crush their spirit, tame them. Then you have a devoted servant to give you rides, pull your wagon, etc.

Women are very much the same. If you don't first break their spirit, a woman will be contstantly sassing back, she won't have dinner ready on time, she won't clean the house, and she won't submit for Christian baby-making. A woman like that is surely hellbound.

We True Christian™ are doing our good ladies a favor son. By breaking their fiery, Godless spirit, we are preparing them for the Kingdom of Heaven. Women who don't bear children are damned son. We are doing them the greatest of all possible favors, giving them the opportuntiy for eternal life. Glory!

1st Timothy 2:14-15
And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

[Melbran]

Re: Test your wife.

Well at least we can agree on that! I hope to never meet you either, you ignorant, hellbound queer!

Women need guidance, boy. Because of their feeble minds, the best way to guide them is physically. You can't reason with a horse, can you? No, you have to break them down, crush their spirit, tame them. Then you have a devoted servant to give you rides, pull your wagon, etc.

Women are very much the same. If you don't first break their spirit, a woman will be contstantly sassing back, she won't have dinner ready on time, she won't clean the house, and she won't submit for Christian baby-making. A woman like that is surely hellbound.

We True Christian™ are doing our good ladies a favor son. By breaking their fiery, Godless spirit, we are preparing them for the Kingdom of Heaven. Women who don't bear children are damned son. We are doing them the greatest of all possible favors, giving them the opportuntiy for eternal life. Glory!

You are absolutely ridiculous. One day you'll see. Anyways, I thought women didn't have souls and couldn't go to heaven? Which one is it? Make up your mind because you look foolish.

[Jean Poole]

Re: Test your wife.

Actually Melbran, the topic is still in debate. However, the kind men of Landover work on the assumption that we *do* have souls to keep us hapless ladies from falling over ourselves.

I believe the dreadful thought of not being with Jesus is about to cause me to fainttttttt

[Bill Poole]

Re: Test your wife.

Look here, Melbran, you made my wife Jean faint! She's lying on the floor completely unconscious. Even my kicking her in the head has served me none to get her up!

I gotta make my own steak now. If she ain't awake in two minute's, it's a beating for her.

[Melbran]

Re: Test your wife.

Look here, Melbran, you made my wife Jean faint! She's lying on the floor completely unconscious. Even my kicking her in the head has served me none to get her up!

I gotta make my own steak now. If she ain't awake in two minute's, it's a beating for her.

yeah, and I believe that one nice try

[Osambo 08]

Re: Test your wife.

Look here, Melbran, you made my wife Jean faint! She's lying on the floor completely unconscious. Even my kicking her in the head has served me none to get her up!

I gotta make my own steak now. If she ain't awake in two minute's, it's a beating for her.

Isn't she pregnant?Do you have a soul?