[ralph's bbq]

Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

I just had a thought, Helmholtz. What if you're right and I am a homosexual without realizing it? I've never had sexual thoughts about another man before and I've only had female partners, but what if I'm living a lie and one day I will be "activated" like a homosexual super manchurian candidate?

If this is the case, I apologize for my previous comment.

[Caeiro]

Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

You're a HOMOSEXUAL, aren't you?

Funny how this comment came from a guy who saw an astronaut named Jesus in his motel room back in '74.

----

First let's summarize Christianity:

The belief takes place with the birth of a man through a virgin. That man died and became a (cosmic) zombie who could perform lots of magic tricks known as "miracles". Such as multiplying bread, turning water into wine and sending pigs down cliffs.

Human-kind is eternally cursed with 'sin' due to our ancestors. Apparently the first woman, who was merely a rib taken from the first man, was deceived by a talking snake into eating an apple, and convinced the man to do the same. Therefore both were banished from "paradise" although they were alive. But the zombie person, once reborn, offers you salvation... should you whole-heartily accept him as your savior you will fear no evil and spend eternity in "paradise". But, should you deny him, you will burn in "hell"... although he loves you.

Somewhere along the line, these delusional and mentally challenged individuals, came up with the idea that beating the 'rib' brings you closer to the zombie person. Perhaps this is a side effect from the swine flu.

[Caeiro]

Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

My "first" post and already an infraction? Shame on you Pastor Ezekiel. Did you see the astronaut too?

Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm more of a lost lamb. And I seek your wisdom so I can get back into the path of the light of salvation. I'm currently on the valley of the shadow of death where I'm desperately trying to fight my way through but to no avail.

I need a rib.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

My "first" post and already an infraction? Shame on you Pastor Ezekiel. Did you see the astronaut too?

Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm more of a lost lamb. And I seek your wisdom so I can get back into the path of the light of salvation. I'm currently on the valley of the shadow of death where I'm desperately trying to fight my way through but to no avail.

I need a rib.

Please make a thread of your own in the "introductions" section of the forum, and tell us your story.

You might also want to read THIS before going on much further...

[Caeiro]

Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Please make a thread of your own in the "introductions" section of the forum, and tell us your story.

You might also want to read THIS before going on much further...

I apologize but I'm fairly new at this. I believe my sinful ways are taking devastating proportions and I sure don't want to be eternally damned. I do wish to be saved but I honestly don't know what else to do. I go to church every Sunday and say my prayers every night. I rarely paddle my wife nowadays, however I used to when I drank a bit too much of the blood of Christ. I used to hang out with a group of friends and went downtown at night to beat up homosexuals and niggers in the name of the invisible man.

What else can I do to praise the zombie person?

Thanks in advance.



What is your advice?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

This is interesting that wondering my sexual orientation is your first comment about me. I am not surprised but I do wonder just how much time you spend thinking about homosexuality? Is this something you practice in secret? It's a bit disturbing that gay sex is the first thing that comes to your mind. Perhaps you should ask for god's forgiveness.

For the record, I am not homosexual. In fact, i have a loving wife (with whom i treat with respect) and seven wonderful children.

Feeling a little squeamish, are you? Hit a nerve close to home(r)? Many a flamer has hidden behind the skirt strings of a bull dyke woman in a failing attempt to look like a real man and not a AIDS infested toilet dwelling anal rat. The fact that that this lesbian has generated children is nothing, slugs do it too and without all the complaining. How do you even know this offspring are even related to you? But then again, I could be wrong, but I doubt it.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

I just had a thought, Helmholtz. What if you're right and I am a homosexual without realizing it? I've never had sexual thoughts about another man before and I've only had female partners, but what if I'm living a lie and one day I will be "activated" like a homosexual super manchurian candidate?

If this is the case, I apologize for my previous comment.

I knew it! At least cumming comming clean is the first step to salvation.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

I apologize but I'm fairly new at this. I believe my sinful ways are taking devastating proportions and I sure don't want to be eternally damned. I do wish to be saved but I honestly don't know what else to do. I go to church every Sunday and say my prayers every night. I rarely paddle my wife nowadays, however I used to when I drank a bit too much of the blood of Christ. I used to hang out with a group of friends and went downtown at night to beat up homosexuals and niggers in the name of the invisible man.

What else can I do to praise the zombie person?

Thanks in advance.


What is your advice?

Do not care for her anymore? Is 'your other self' beginning to emerge? Do you feel like a sing-a-long with Judy Garland?

The beating was good and true, the racist remark is not.

I think you need to run head first into a brick wall till you see Jesus. Then come back.

[Caeiro]

Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Do not care for her anymore? Is 'your other self' beginning to emerge? Do you feel like a sing-a-long with Judy Garland?

The beating was good and true, the racist remark is not.

I think you need to run head first into a brick wall till you see Jesus. Then come back.

The only thing that's going to emerge would be my insanity... should I ever follow a similar sect.

I think you should cycle through the pages and carefully read the lines where the followers of this deity come up with far more 'delightful' racist remarks than the one I posted.

Not sure if head banging against a brick wall would make me see Jesus, but I believe I sure would see bright lights. Don't tell me those are the little details in which you base your belief?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

The only thing that's going to emerge would be my insanity... should I ever follow a similar sect.

I think you should cycle through the pages and carefully read the lines where the followers of this deity come up with far more 'delightful' racist remarks than the one I posted.

Not sure if head banging against a brick wall would make me see Jesus, but I believe I sure would see bright lights. Don't tell me those are the little details in which you base your belief?

So you admit you are going insane, that is a good thing and a step in the right direction.

N*ggers is racist. Niga is not, nor is darkie. It would behoove you to read a little before you speak. Knowledge is a good thing. It does not hurt, really it actually feels good. Try it, you will like it.

No, walloping your brains a little might take your mind off it being 'All About You' and perhaps enable you to put the focus where it has to be, on God.

[Caeiro]

Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

So you admit you are going insane, that is a good thing and a step in the right direction.

N*ggers is racist. Niga is not, nor is darkie. It would behoove you to read a little before you speak. Knowledge is a good thing. It does not hurt, really it actually feels good. Try it, you will like it.

No, walloping your brains a little might take your mind off it being 'All About You' and perhaps enable you to put the focus where it has to be, on God.

I didn't admit anything as far as I can recall.

It would behoove you to read a little before you speak.

Yes, that was a bit too soon.

"Niga" as being a short version of the word "N*gger" is as racist as the original one. Kind of hypocrite to deny such, but oh well... whatever makes you sleep better at night.
Weren't Adam and Eve expelled from Paradise after eating an apple from the tree of knowledge? So how exactly will a sinner judge me for my sins?

You're right, I believe such would suit me very well indeed. Although I had the impression my life was given to me, clearly I was mistaken.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

"Niga" as being a short version of the word "N*gger" is as racist as the original one.

Did you just call Dr. Martin Luther King a racist?

[Caeiro]

Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Did you just call Dr. Martin Luther King a racist?

I'm unsure. I do not get called a racist when I refer to a white individual as "whitey", while being white myself.

[Who Cares]

Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Hello friends,

I noticed that you have a lot of threads about women and how they should act and be treated.
I discovered a situation that I have not yet found the answer to. You see, just the other day I walked in on my wife in the shower (I don't allow her to lock any doors in the house, unless I say otherwise) and I was led to believe that she was pleasuring herself. We have a retractable shower head, and when I walked in, it was near her devil's layer and she seemed unusually embarrassed.

Though I did punish her, I don't know what else to do beyond these lines.
I need advice on what the right thing to do would be.

Your Brother in Faith,
Dustin

Hello,

I am writing you this little note to let you know that I did a little internet sleuthing and was able to take your posted info along with your isp# to track down your general location, at witch point I contacted your local police department to let them know of the fact that you openly admit to beating your wife (while pregnant even). I directed them to this site and further more to your specific posts.

They were not happy. In fact the gentleman that I spoke with was rather pissed to here such news and let me know he would be tracking your physical address and would be making a stop with a couple other officers.

You better be on your best behavior, because I don't think they are coming over for bible study.

Regardless of what you or others pull out of the bible, it is still not legal to hit and or beat other human beings, this includes the mental and emotional abuse that I am sure you throw around in the name of your imaginary friend, not here in America anyway.

In closing I would just like to say that even if the law decides to take a backseat to your crimes against another human, karma won't. Your screwed one way or another.

Be expecting a knock on your front door, wife beater.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms?

Hello,

I am writing you this little note to let you know that I did a little internet sleuthing and was able to take your posted info along with your isp# to track down your general location, at witch point I contacted your local police department to let them know of the fact that you openly admit to beating your wife (while pregnant even). I directed them to this site and further more to your specific posts.

They were not happy. In fact the gentleman that I spoke with was rather pissed to here such news and let me know he would be tracking your physical address and would be making a stop with a couple other officers.

You better be on your best behavior, because I don't think they are coming over for bible study.

Regardless of what you or others pull out of the bible, it is still not legal to hit and or beat other human beings, this includes the mental and emotional abuse that I am sure you throw around in the name of your imaginary friend, not here in America anyway.

In closing I would just like to say that even if the law decides to take a backseat to your crimes against another human, karma won't. Your screwed one way or another.

Be expecting a knock on your front door, wife beater.

Ok.................. you are aware we too, know who YOU are (we use the same technology) and you can expect a visit from the DOF.