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  • eliot mayfield
    God Squad
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 9324

    #1

    Comfort wipes. I think Jesus would approve



    Keep your hand away from there! What a great idea. But, well since this is the Men's forum, I need to wipe more than once usually. It seems to me standing up between wipes might not be too pleasant. I still say it's a good idea, it just needs refing. But I have ordered them for the camp for the girl's rooms. They certainly don't need to be touching down there after a tinkle. This is perfect for that and one wipe is enough too and it would discourage excess wiping. A great product a bit misdirected perhaps.
    Matthew:
    5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
    5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
    10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
    10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22929

    #2
    Re: Comfort wipes. I think Jesus would approve

    Couldn't they just use marigolds? There's plenty in the kitchens. There are some welders' gloves down the workshops as well.
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

    Comment

    • Wash O'Hanley
      Debate Moderator (and participant)
      Master Debater-- Has Never Been Defeated in a Debate
      Louder Than Reason
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 2126

      #3
      Re: Comfort wipes. I think Jesus would approve

      Hopefully this will cut down on unintentional masturbation by 30-35% among males and females ages 18-35.

      CHRISTIANS ARE WINNING THE CULTURE WAR! YEA!
      sigpic

      Comment

      • Daisy Mae Johnson
        The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
        Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
        aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 15708

        #4
        Re: Comfort wipes. I think Jesus would approve

        What the heck? I thought all True Christians used tongs and never ever touched their bodies.

        At least we don't in the Johnson household...or Flint one for that matter.

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        Tweet me Here
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        Comment

        • Miss April
          Landover's Version of Carrie Prejean
          Forum Member
          • Apr 2009
          • 685

          #5
          Re: Comfort wipes. I think Jesus would approve

          Sorry for posting Men but I Think That seems like a Great Thing Two Use I might Get one of Those Thank You Brother for Posting ps I aso Think your right Jesus Whould Approve of That

          Comment

          • Capt. Aaron Portway
            One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers
            Salvation from Above
            God's Favorite Pilot™
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2008
            • 6309

            #6
            Re: Comfort wipes. I think Jesus would approve

            Why would you need an extra 18" of reach? I don't get it. And it looks like that thing could, pardon me Pastors, be used by wanton hussies to "touch without touching" their lady place if you know what mean.

            Just do what I do, shower after each "#2" trip to the bathroom. I have two loofahs in my shower, one is attached to the shower wall about 3' off the floor. The other I use to exfoliate my back. (I get ingrown hairs on my upper back and shoulders if I don't exfoliate three times a week).

            The wall loofah is my dedicated #2 loofah. I pour 1/2 a quart of bleach over it after each use! Cleanliness is next to Godliness I always say!
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            Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



            God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



            Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

            Comment

            • lord warrior
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              • Sep 2007
              • 406

              #7
              Re: Comfort wipes. I think Jesus would approve

              This is a terrible idea. Many of our unsaved girls will use this for there self fornication. And the boy's, please. Those gaytards put light bulbs up there backsides. That curved handle would be perfect, to there thinking, for a vigorous prostate massage. And since this is Jesus approved , you would be giving them away. Instead of confiscation and usual beatings.

              As for myself, I can #1 totally hands free. A shake of the hips is better than being tempted by Satan. And yes I do wipe, I use the New York Times instead of regular TP. It is well know that it is run by liberal Satan worshipers. So just telling Satan what I think of his propaganda.

              Just do what I do, shower after each "#2" trip to the bathroom. I have two loofahs in my shower, one is attached to the shower wall about 3' off the floor.
              I think that while it works well for you, might be a little dangerous. One small slip, and you would be like a homer for sure. And what would unsaved trash think if they ever used your bathroom? For if I didn't know you, I would think that anyone with that type of set-up would be homer for sure.

              Comment

              • Nobar King
                Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                Christ's Guardian
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2007
                • 23748

                #8
                Re: Comfort wipes. I think Jesus would approve

                Part of the problem is the name. If it didn't sound so tempting the weak might not need to resist its allure.
                May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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