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  • James Dewitt
    #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
    • Jan 2010
    • 6267

    #31
    Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

    Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
    Sex should be used for making children. Everything else is evil.

    You are probably an obsessive compulsive masturbator. The Bible is very clear on what you have to do about that. You have to rent a chainsaw and remove your hand! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched". To be on the safe side you might want to remove both hands.

    Now If I can only get my son to understand that. He seems to think his tallywacker is a joy stick to a video game! Alas my hand is broken, his back side is as red as a beet, but I still have a BELT and one good hand!

    Comment

    • overunity
      Unsaved trash
      • Feb 2010
      • 11

      #32
      Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

      Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
      Have fun in hell .

      Revelation 20:10 "And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever."
      well for one, i never deceived anyone, i spoke my mind from the outset, i apologize if free speech is condemned here. secondly, if this quote is in fact true, and false prophets are condemned, i'm sure glad i am not christian right now because i don't want to burn 'for ever and ever', which for a merciful God seems a little excessive and out of proportion for my crimes

      Comment

      • overunity
        Unsaved trash
        • Feb 2010
        • 11

        #33
        Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

        Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
        Now If I can only get my son to understand that. He seems to think his tallywacker is a joy stick to a video game! Alas my hand is broken, his back side is as red as a beet, but I still have a BELT and one good hand!
        that is awful. your son does not deserve a parent that beats him for no justifiable reason. of course you have no reason to listen to me, but believe me unless you want to end up losing your son to depression or even suicide try to make a connection with him that isnt through force. talk to him and try and understand his mind before you beat the life out of him

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78553

          #34
          Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

          Originally posted by overunity View Post
          that is awful. your son does not deserve a parent that beats him for no justifiable reason. of course you have no reason to listen to me, but believe me unless you want to end up losing your son to depression or even suicide try to make a connection with him that isnt through force. talk to him and try and understand his mind before you beat the life out of him
          But it is justified.

          The Holy Bible tells us that we can beat children hard and often. Don't worry about hurting them. You may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to kill them. And even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank you in heaven for beating the hell out of them.

          Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • James Hutchins
            True Christian™
            Just a Regular Nice Guy
             
            • Jun 2009
            • 29453

            #35
            Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

            Originally posted by overunity View Post
            that is awful. your son does not deserve a parent that beats him for no justifiable reason. of course you have no reason to listen to me, but believe me unless you want to end up losing your son to depression or even suicide try to make a connection with him that isnt through force. talk to him and try and understand his mind before you beat the life out of him
            First comes doing it to yourself, then comes homerism.

            My own son, I simply burned his hands by making him hold onto a large sausage that just came out of the deep fryer, explaining to him that it was the devil burning him for touching himself. I explained had God wanted him to do it, his hands would not of gotten burnt.
            You cannot discuss things with a five year old other than about God. They simply will not understand. You must impress on them if they go against God, there will be consequences.
            I could of never merely spanked my boy for the slap against God's Majesty©, I am not as much of a softie as Brother Dewitt.
            Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
            Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
            Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
            Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
            Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
            Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

            Comment

            • overunity
              Unsaved trash
              • Feb 2010
              • 11

              #36
              Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

              isnt it ironic that the truest christians actually deserve to burn in hell the most for torturing kids until they do as they're told. is that how you guys became christian? i'm sensing a pattern here...

              Comment

              • overunity
                Unsaved trash
                • Feb 2010
                • 11

                #37
                Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

                i just wish the world was a better place...

                Comment

                • Cranky Old Man
                  Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                  You kids get off his lawn!
                   
                  • Jan 2010
                  • 22362

                  #38
                  Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

                  Originally posted by overunity View Post
                  isnt it ironic that the truest christians actually deserve to burn in hell the most for torturing kids until they do as they're told. is that how you guys became christian? i'm sensing a pattern here...
                  My father did indeed beat some sense into me. He made me a God fearing person and I still thank him for that in prayer every day. I did the same for my children and grandchildren and we all love each other almost as much as we love Jesus.

                  Your problem is that you only focus on having a good life here on Earth. We True Christians™ focus on the afterlife instead. A few years of life on Earth is nothing compared to eternity in Heaven or in hell. And since God's Holy Bible has very clear, consistent and specific instructions of how we have to live, it's simply a matter of following God's rules.

                  Proverbs 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

                  Proverbs 23:13-14 "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."

                  Originally posted by overunity View Post
                  i just wish the world was a better place...
                  Quit wasting time on that. Focus on getting to Heave instead!
                  5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                  To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                  James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                  Comment

                  • James Hutchins
                    True Christian™
                    Just a Regular Nice Guy
                     
                    • Jun 2009
                    • 29453

                    #39
                    Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

                    Originally posted by overunity View Post
                    isnt it ironic that the truest christians actually deserve to burn in hell the most for torturing kids until they do as they're told. is that how you guys became christian? i'm sensing a pattern here...
                    You make little sense.

                    If you love your child, you will bring them up according to the Bible.
                    I do everything I can for my kids. Life is not all gum drops and sunshine. In everyone's life, some rain must fall. It hurts me more than it hurts my kids to have to punish them, anyways, they are resilient. Torturing would be if I inflicted pain for no reason. The last thing I want to do is have my kids hurt. But you know kids, they do it to themselves all the time.
                    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                    Comment

                    • Professor Bessemer
                      Professor of Creation Science at Landover University
                      Certified Ex-Gay Program Graduate
                      Darwin's Worst Nightmare
                      True Christian™
                      • May 2009
                      • 2952

                      #40
                      Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

                      Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                      Have fun in hell .

                      Revelation 20:10 "And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever."

                      You are clearly not
                      Project Habakkuk material and you should be ashamed of yourself. Your parents probably gave up on you years ago.
                      That reminds me, you all need to get your signed and notarized Habakkuk vouchers to me before the fifteenth if you still want the 2% upgrade.
                      Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


                      sigpic

                      Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

                      Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

                      Comment

                      • Cranky Old Man
                        Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                        You kids get off his lawn!
                         
                        • Jan 2010
                        • 22362

                        #41
                        Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

                        Originally posted by Professor Bessemer View Post
                        That reminds me, you all need to get your signed and notarized Habakkuk vouchers to me before the fifteenth if you still want the 2% upgrade.
                        I am most sorry Brother. I forgot about those. One of my sons will bring it to you in an hour. Ignore the bump on his head, he was 5 minutes late today and you know how I think about that.

                        1 Thessalonians 5:13-14 "And to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake. And be at peace among yourselves. Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men."
                        5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                        To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                        James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                        Comment

                        • Pastor Ezekiel
                          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                           
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 78553

                          #42
                          Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

                          Originally posted by overunity View Post
                          i just wish the world was a better place...
                          The world will be a better place, once Jesus returns (with a flaming sword sticking out of His loving mouth!) come Judgment Day!

                          Revelations 19:12 His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself.
                          19:13 And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God.
                          19:14 And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean.
                          19:15 And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.
                          19:16 And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS
                          .
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                          Comment

                          • MsPhoenixFire
                            Unsaved trash
                            • Oct 2009
                            • 31

                            #43
                            Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

                            Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                            Sex should be used for making children. Everything else is evil.

                            You are probably an obsessive compulsive masturbator. The Bible is very clear on what you have to do about that. You have to rent a chainsaw and remove your hand! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched". To be on the safe side you might want to remove both hands.

                            NOT!!!! The Bible said I had to be fruitful and multiply, he didn't say how many times, So after TWO children I am done, but I REFUSE to give up sex with my husband. Sex is normal, feels good and is FUN!!

                            Comment

                            • GOD=life
                              WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
                              True Christian™
                              • Jan 2010
                              • 3263

                              #44
                              Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

                              Originally posted by MsPhoenixFire View Post
                              NOT!!!!
                              Four exclamation marks. Looks like you already won the argument!

                              Originally posted by MsPhoenixFire View Post
                              ... He didn't say how many times, So after TWO children I am done, ...
                              Not quite: if every parent gets only 2 children, then the population size stays about the same. Clearly, a stagnant population size is not the intent of this passage.

                              Originally posted by MsPhoenixFire View Post
                              but I REFUSE to give up sex with my husband.
                              Unfortunately, by doing so you also REFUSE to go to Heaven. Not a very smart move.

                              Originally posted by MsPhoenixFire View Post
                              Sex is normal, feels good and is FUN!!
                              And it's immoral and is a quick ticket to Hell. You might as well invite a prostitute over and have a threesome while you're all sniffing and injecting drugs. It feels GOOD and it's FUN, right?
                              I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

                              Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
                              Matthew 7:22
                              Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
                              Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

                              Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

                              Comment

                              • MsPhoenixFire
                                Unsaved trash
                                • Oct 2009
                                • 31

                                #45
                                Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

                                I never spoke of drugs, You did, Quit getting high and posting.
                                Let's see there's ONE of me and TWO children, Last time I did the math THAT was multiplying. Again, I've done MY job and now I am done. I only engage in sex with my husband, so I am doing no wrong. Sorry, YOU believe I am

                                Comment

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