[Believer1988]

Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

But, "Deflowering a virgin" is totally a work of God! You keep believeing that buddy! i am a fag and i believe I will be in heaven while your burning in hell!

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

But, "Deflowering a virgin" is totally a work of God! You keep believeing that buddy! i am a fag and i believe I will be in heaven while your burning in hell!

Makes sense. You believe a fella's poop chute is intoxicating, so Hell probably is like Heaven to you.

[Jebediah Smith]

Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

Now here I go again havin to apoligize for Lola. Im real sorry for her sniffin around in here again and it aint gonna happen again.Dang it that woman does have a mind a her own and I mean to change that right soon here. My hands a little sore and she dont seem to mind the spankins. So my Godly brothers what can I do now? I think she kinda likes the spankins. Is it ok to make her go pick out her own switch and then use that on her back side?


Edited : Hey how come my post showed up like the devil posted it? Whats goin on here?

Are you insecure?
Why must you be a controlling redneck?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

Pastors and Brothers, I have a bit of a problem. Last night after handing out my last 5 bibles to street scum,I returned home to find my youngest son treating his body like a cheap carnival ride. He had a Playboy and Hustler magazine opened to the center fold, well I lost my temper and lit up his back side but good. He said it was natural for him to masturbate, so I lit up his back side one more time. I do not know of a therapy unit in NYC for his affliction, and I broke my hand whopping him. Is there treatment for him in Freehold? I have had it with New York City. My wife and I are at wits end and are considering moving to Freehold. Brothers I need your help!


P.S. Pastor Ezekiel I need 500 more bibles.

[Larry Lee]

Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

What a heartbreaking story, Brother Dewitt. I'm afraid it's a true fact: "Once a handrosexual, always a handrosexual." The best you can hope for is to find one of those handrosexual 12-step programs that Landover has been establishing as part of the Habakkuk Project. Good luck.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

Pastors and Brothers, I have a bit of a problem. Last night after handing out my last 5 bibles to street scum,I returned home to find my youngest son treating his body like a cheap carnival ride. He had a Playboy and Hustler magazine opened to the center fold, well I lost my temper and lit up his back side but good. He said it was natural for him to masturbate, so I lit up his back side one more time. I do not know of a therapy unit in NYC for his affliction, and I broke my hand whopping him. Is there treatment for him in Freehold? I have had it with New York City. My wife and I are at wits end and are considering moving to Freehold. Brothers I need your help!


P.S. Pastor Ezekiel I need 500 more bibles.

How unfortunate Brother. Your hand was not the one needing breaking.

[overunity]

Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

im sorry, when did appreciating the body god gave you become a sinful act?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

im sorry, when did appreciating the body god gave you become a sinful act?

Ever since God created man.

Masturbation usually involves looking at porn or thinking about sex. This is not allowed: Matthew 5:28 "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

And you will have to poke your eye out if you look at porn: Matthew 5:29 "And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell." Punishment for ignoring this? Hell!

Also God clearly does not like it when we spill our seed: Genesis 38:9-10 "And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also." Punishment for ignoring this? Death!

[overunity]

Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

i respectfully disagree. every species and life form on the plant is born with reproductive organs that we are at our own right to use under god. i dont see naked pictures as 'pornography' but as another beautiful and spiritual human in its purest form.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

i respectfully disagree. every species and life form on the plant is born with reproductive organs that we are at our own right to use under god. i dont see naked pictures as 'pornography' but as another beautiful and spiritual human in its purest form.

First of all, this is NOT a debate forum. Please read THIS thread before making an even bigger fool of yourself.

Secondly, while the internets might seem to be "free" to you, this particular corner of the internets is a privately owned Christian forum. The rights you have on this forum are listed HERE. Please contact a Pastor if you feel that any of your rights have been violated.

Finally, your unsaved opinions or tantrums are not even slightly of interest to us. We follow the Holy Word of God TO THE LETTER, and make no apologies for that. One of the most important commandments in the Bible tells us to avoid unsaved scum such as yourself. You wandered in here uninvited, and unwelcome.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

i respectfully disagree. every species and life form on the plant is born with reproductive organs that we are at our own right to use under god. i dont see naked pictures as 'pornography' but as another beautiful and spiritual human in its purest form.

Sex should be used for making children. Everything else is evil.

You are probably an obsessive compulsive masturbator. The Bible is very clear on what you have to do about that. You have to rent a chainsaw and remove your hand! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched". To be on the safe side you might want to remove both hands.

[overunity]

Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

hmmm i guess renting a chainsaw and chopping off my hand is a saner option then succumbing my life entirely to an invalid religion that has destroyed more lives then it has saved

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

hmmm i guess renting a chainsaw and chopping off my hand is a saner option then succumbing my life entirely to an invalid religion that has destroyed more lives then it has saved

We'll do all we can to help. Take a look at THIS thread.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

hmmm i guess renting a chainsaw and chopping off my hand is a saner option then succumbing my life entirely to an invalid religion that has destroyed more lives then it has saved

Have fun in hell .

Revelation 20:10 "And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever."

You are clearly not Project Habakkuk material and you should be ashamed of yourself. Your parents probably gave up on you years ago.

[overunity]

Re: Masturbation is handrosexual

We'll do all we can to help. Take a look at THIS thread.

thanks Pastor! i guess there's help out there after all!