X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • Rev Jeffrey Lebowski
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Oct 2009
    • 160
    #1

    Micturition, where whithout being hellbound?

    Greetings Brothers of LBC !!!

    I post this inquiry here , so that the women folk do not get unduly embarrassed and upset by the masculine nature of my question.
    Sisters ~ please leave by the back door, now.
    Man-talk comin' up.

    I have (as many of y'all do) follow the fine sermons of Pastor Steve L. Anderson. I'm sure many of y'all have seen this outstanding sermon, and some surely have already posted it >>>
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qo3o4nfiG7A


    Well here is my problem . Lately the old prostate has been growing to the size of a grapefruit. Thus, I feel the need to relieve myself quite frequently. Now, I know it's no longer polite to urinate on someones' rug (a valuable lesson I learned the hard way) but I truly enjoy peeing on walls.
    Does this make me a sodomite ?

    Since I find I often need to go right-away, and its so hard to pick a piddle-spot that is recommended by scripture......
    Could you fine Brothers instruct me on the Biblically correct places to do a righteous whizz?

    Rev Jeffrey Lebowski
    (don't nobody tell Sister Verna about my secret problem, Ok?)
    Tags: pisseth against the wall
    • Brother Enoch
      The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
      True Christian™
      • Jun 2008
      • 4392
      #2
      Re: Micturition, where whithout being hellbound?

      I always whizz in the direction of Mecca, just to be safe.

        Comment

        • Ezekiel Bathfire
          Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
          Christ's Rottweiler
           
          • Jan 2008
          • 22899
          #3
          Re: Micturition, where whithout being hellbound?

          Clearly, a wall is not something to be pissed upon. Houses in biblical times may have been a tent or an adobe construction, neither of which stand up well to a flow of urine however weak and dribbling. (Remember the quote, “Better inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in”?)

          2Ki:9:8: For the whole house of Ahab shall perish: and I will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel:

          Few of us would want to be cut off from Ahab.

          My advice? If you see a wall, turn 180 degrees and piss there.
          sigpic


          “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

          Author of such illuminating essays as,
          Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

            Comment

            • Pastor Ezekiel
              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 78556
              #4
              Re: Micturition, where whithout being hellbound?

              Maybe installing an incentive in your commode would help, friend. At Landover Baptist Church, we've had great luck with these.

              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • Emil Sledge
                  struggling to make sense for Jesus
                  Forum Member
                  • Sep 2009
                  • 257
                  #5
                  Re: Micturition, where whithout being hellbound?

                  Winter will be here soon and I always loved taking a leak into new snow and YES I CAN dot the ' i ' in Emil!
                  GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

                    Comment

                    Previous template Next
                    Working...