[Seth Campbell]

Re: Manly Jokes

Lisa gets her haircut while wearing a pair of headphones. The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but she protests that she'll die without them.

The hairdresser sighs, and starts cutting the hair around the headphones. Soon, Lisa falls asleep, and the hairdresser removes the headphones. A few minutes later, Lisa collapses, dead on the floor. Alarmed, the hairdresser puts the headphones to her ear and hears, "Breathe in. Breathe out."

Now I can only see two reasons for this post.

1. your sexual fascination with the girl and wanting to make her your "wench"
2. you want her to get upset and post in this thread and get into trouble

Why are you so obsessed with her? She's not interested in you.

And since I don't want to turn this into another Jo Freddy thread.....


You think men have it easy? You're dead wrong, they have to work up a sweat to keep taking out the belt and putting it back in again.


Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Trick question, feminists can't change anything!

How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Manly Jokes

Now I can only see two reasons for this post.

1. your sexual fascination with the girl and wanting to make her your "wench"
2. you want her to get upset and post in this thread and get into trouble

Why are you so obsessed with her? She's not interested in you.

I refer you to a post I made in response to one of your other inane witterings:

Oh I have no fantasies about Zekie Boy or anyone else in this place. I am not one of the ones here that projects their, what you would call deviant, thoughts onto others.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

Her Name is Five Horses


A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.


He replied, "She is called Five Horses".



The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.


What does it mean?"



The Old Indian answered,

"It is an old Indian name. It means...


























wait for it





















NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!

[James Dewitt]

Re: Manly Jokes

A woman is picked up by Dennis Rodman in a bar. They like each other and she goes back with him to his hotel room. He removes his shirt revealing all his tattoos and she sees that on his arm is one which reads, "Reebok." She thinks that is a bit odd and asks him about it.

Dennis says, "When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the tattoo and Reebok pays me for advertisement." A bit later, his pants are off and she sees "Puma" tattooed on his leg.

He gives the same explanation for the unusual tattoo. Finally, the underwear comes off and she sees the word "AIDS" tattooed on his penis. She jumps back with shock.

"I'm not going to do it with a guy who has AIDS!" exclaims the woman.

Dennis Rodman replies, "It's cool baby. In a minute it's going to say 'ADIDAS.'"

[What ya gonna do]

Re: Manly Jokes

Care to back that up with Scripture, boy?

And who asked for your unsaved opinion anyway?

i just mentally asked for it =D
god hasnt burnt me for going on this page yet! =D

[Viggo B. Kristoffersen]

Re: Manly Jokes

How can you tell whether your wife is dead or not?
Well, there's really no major different besides your home is getting dirtier, and you're getting hungrier.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Manly Jokes

Why do all the joos have such big noses?

Air is free.


How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb?

one, but the bulb really has to want to change.

[WWJDnow]

Re: Manly Jokes

Millie, the virginal daughter of Brother John, was caught alone in the elevator of the church office tower with Levi Jones.

Being as yet unsaved and--I'll put it bluntly, since there are no womenfolk around in this thread--horny as Hell--Millie pressed the elevator's stop button, removed all of her clothes, then shouted to the good pastor, "Make a True Christian™ woman out of me!"

Pastor Jones, always willing to help a young Christian in need, removed his clothes, too, restarted the elevator, and, walking out buck naked when he reached his office's floor, instructed Millie, "I expect those to be cleaned and pressed before supper."

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Manly Jokes

I was chatting via Yahoo Messenger with Professor Bessemer yesterday, and he was telling me about his research into hormones as a treatment for homosexuality. He asked me if I knew how to make a hormone. Naturally, not being a Creation Scientist, I said no. His reply?












"Kick her in the stomach!"

[Levi Jones]

Re: Manly Jokes

My mistress called me a pedophile today.



















I told her that's an awfully big word for a 9 year old.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Manly Jokes

My mistress called me a pedophile today.
I told her that's an awfully big word for a 9 year old.

I thought this thread was for jokes not personal news?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Manly Jokes

Taoism
Shit happens.
Buddhism
If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Islam
If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.
Judaism
Why does this shit always happen to us?
Hinduism
This shit happened before.
Hare Krishna
Shit happens rama rama.
Atheism
No shit.
Jehova's Witness
Knock knock, shit happens.
Hedonism
There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Christian Science
Shit happens in your mind.
Agnosticism
Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Rastafarianism
Let's smoke this shit.
Existentialism
What is shit anyway?
Stoicism
This shit doesn't bother me.


I like this one damn Catliks ain't got a clue

The drunk in the cathedral
A drunk staggered down the main street of the town. Somehow he managed to make it up the stairs to a cathedral and into the entrance, where he crashed from pew to pew, finally making his way to a side aisle and into a confessional.
A priest had observed all this, and figured the fellow needed some help, so he entered his side of the confessional. After the priest sat there in deathly silence, he finally asked, "May I help you, my son?"
"I dunno," came the drunk's voice from behind the partition. "You got any paper on your side?"

[Cigar Manfor Christ]

Re: Manly Jokes

A few days ago, I was out with my wife and I asked her opinion....


Sometimes, I just crack myself up

I laughed at this too--exactly my view, buddy!

[Levi Jones]

Re: Manly Jokes

I was speaking with a lady the other day and she shared the following tidbit with me.

Her: I like my men like I like my coffee.

Me: Black?

Her: No, ground up and in the freezer.

[AngelClark]

Re: Manly Jokes

He does not have to back that up with script. It is the rightful truth. Do YOU care to back up the fact that they arn't equal with script? And I don't mean bullshit script that could mean what you want if you really thought about it in a different way... script that you dirty, racist, sexist, abusive, power hungry christians use to change peoples minds so that you can be in "power".

I WANT EVERY HARCORE CRISTIAN TO WATCH THE FOLLOWING MOVIE "The Invention Of Lying". It shows what very well may have happened many many years ago. You have NO evidence that everything or anything in the bible is true. I wont lie... I am not religeous but I do agree with SOME of the stuff in the bible (That people should not lie etc.). Be reasonable here... I refuse to follow a religion because there is no evidence that any of it is real. If one of the many religions are real (for sure). Then by all means I would be that religion. But for now there is no evidence that there is a god and there is no evidence that any religion is real.

P.S. If you ban my account or I.P adress it just goes to show that you are scared that people might stop beleaving some of the genuine stuff you people say... Scared that you may lose some of you power.

Suck dick! Pussy beaters! <---Power hungry christians

Think about it.

I can't remember where I read it, but the Bible does state that Wives are to submit to their husbands, I also believe I've read in there where women were to keep silent in church, we are not even supposed to teach in church. Go to your room and read something besides Harry Potter books, a King James Bible perhaps.