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  • #511
    Re: What is Fap?

    Originally posted by Goobr54 View Post
    what are you doing here if you're a female? As I understand the hierarchy of the forum, "No homosexuals or women allowed"? It says that very thing in the subject line? Forgive me if I am wrong please. I'm a noobie still learning the ropes.
    This is an excellent question...and it is encouraged that if you see ladies posting in this forum, to report it to a Pastor or Male Elder immediately. It doesn't often happen, however.

    This particular thread has become very contentious, and a few Landover Ladies have been recruited....sort of like field nurses sometimes pressed into surgery on the battle field. It's not an ideal situation, but there it is.

    Also, when outsiders attack our True Christian™ Men, they are attacking us by extension. Some of us cannot stand idly by while the demonic heretics rip into our good menfolk, who are our guides, leaders, providers and protectors. (They also grant us Salvation™, through bearing their children.)

    And a lot of outsiders have come to this thread to first mock God™, then turned to actually wanting to discuss Scripture™ and be Saved™. We ladies can help with some of the little questions/crowd control.



    1st Timothy 2:15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

    Comment

    • #512
      Re: What is Fap?

      Originally posted by GOD=life View Post
      You should certainly fap to God, it will get you in Heaven.
      1800 posts? I made a mistake. I don't want to be associated with you all. Delete me please.
      Μολὼν λαβέ

      Comment

      • #513
        Re: What is Fap?

        Originally posted by Goobr54 View Post
        1800 posts? I made a mistake. I don't want to be associated with you all. Delete me please.
        Hi friend, can you be more specific, because you're not making much sense at all? I cannot "delete" you because I am neither God nor a moderator.

        I was only saying - through youngster language - that you should salute God. Don't you want to dedicate your life to God? I understood from your introduction that it was your intention? I'm confused.
        I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

        Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
        Matthew 7:22         Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
        Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

        Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

        Comment

        • #514
          Re: What is Fap?

          Originally posted by Goobr54 View Post
          1800 posts? I made a mistake. I don't want to be associated with you all. Delete me please.
          Request denied. And what's wrong with 1800 posts?
          Psalm 81:10:
          I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
          open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

          Comment

          • #515
            Re: What is Fap?

            Originally posted by GOD=life View Post
            Okay, so "fap" means "cool" or "groovy" then in today's vernacular?

            Or rather: "fappable" means "cool" and "to fap" means "to find something/someone cool". Or perhaps as in "I fap to you" should be compared to "I salute you".

            "Sarah Palin is fappable" means "Sarah Palin is cool"
            "I fap to Sarah Palin" means "I respect Sarah Palin a lot"
            "I fap to your forum" means "I'm in awe of your forum"

            It's good to know the "hip" words of today's youth. That makes is easier to reach out to them. They should all know that Jesus Christ is extremely fappable!
            Brother, it is so good that one of the Godly men on this thread finally cleared this up! Tonight my entire family will fap to our Bible study!

            Praise JESUS
            Drama queen

            Comment

            • #516
              Re: What is Fap?

              Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
              Brother, it is so good that one of the Godly men on this thread finally cleared this up! Tonight my entire family will fap to our Bible study!

              Praise JESUS
              Ok, i'm done. I honestly thought someone didn't understand the phrase but if you're all just going to make jokes like this then there is no point in me trying to help.

              Comment

              • #517
                Re: What is Fap?

                Originally posted by GOD=life View Post
                Why not? It makes perfect sense. The puzzle pieces fit very well. To speak in the vernacular of your generation:

                Get on your knees, put your hands together, close your eyes and FAP to God. Then after you are done thanking God for sending His fappable Son to Save us, open the KJV 1611 Bible and FAP to every page. Don't skip any page, because God wants us to FAP to every page, not just the convenient parts.

                Once you are done understanding the literal, fappable, meaning of the KJV 1611 Bible, you too can become Fappable Christians like all of us here.

                And then way later, after you die, you can FAP all the way to Heaven with us for eternity where we will FAP together with the ever fappable Jesus Christ of Nazareth!

                Now wouldn't that be faptastic?
                This just got very Homosexual God=life are you the pivot man

                Comment

                • #518
                  Re: What is Fap?

                  Originally posted by TAMSwordofGod View Post
                  the pivot man
                  No, I am not? I don't know him:

                  Pivotman
                  http://www.thepivotman.com
                  I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

                  Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
                  Matthew 7:22                   Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
                  Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

                  Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

                  Comment

                  • #519
                    Re: What is Fap?

                    Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
                    Brother, it is so good that one of the Godly men on this thread finally cleared this up! Tonight my entire family will fap to our Bible study!

                    Praise JESUS
                    Indeed!

                    I will also fap for Jesus tonight! If I have fapped for Sarah Palin to the point of exhaustion, hopefully I might find another enthusiastic believer to assist me in my fapping.

                    Comment

                    • #520
                      Re: What is Fap?

                      so.... how about that evolution?
                      SCIENCE!!!!!

                      Comment

                      • #521
                        Re: What is Fap?

                        Originally posted by Evolutionman View Post
                        so.... how about that evolution?
                        Indeed. Very inspiring. It occurred over 6 days.
                        Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.

                        Comment

                        • #522
                          Re: What is Fap?

                          Originally posted by Maynard Staley View Post
                          If I have fapped for Sarah Palin to the point of exhaustion, hopefully I might find another enthusiastic believer to assist me in my fapping.
                          I hear ya brother, may be Sister Kitty can help us FAP for her and Sarah.
                          "Woe to you, Oh Earth and Sea, for the Devil sends the beast with wrath, because he knows the time is short... Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast for it is a human number, its number is Six hundred and sixty six."

                          Comment

                          • #523
                            Re: What is Fap?

                            Originally posted by Evolutionman View Post
                            so.... how about that evolution?
                            Well, just look into the mirror to see how unlikely it is you would be the end result of that.
                            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                            Comment

                            • #524
                              Re: What is Fap?

                              i have a question.
                              as you are protestants, do you fap only to jesus, or to his mother or step-father as well?
                              poland is a catholic country, so we actualy have many saints to fap to. it's strange that no one didn't yet made a picture book in that purpouse...
                              and in the other hand (it's funny context...), as you live more in community than catholics (no particular priest nor bishops), are you also fap to each other as equal men?
                              Proverbs 26:3
                              A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back.

                              Comment

                              • #525
                                Re: What is Fap?

                                We do not fap to one another in the same way we fap to Jesus Christ. He is in another league altogether as he is the Son of God.

                                That's the mistake many false belief systems make: they fap to mortal and sinful men instead of Jesus Christ.
                                I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

                                Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
                                Matthew 7:22                                 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
                                Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

                                Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

                                Comment

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