[Dirk]

Re: I had an erection in church

The openness of this church amazes me. We're not even allowed to talk about penis in the church or any other sexual related things. I see the difference here. You're really seeking the Word of God together and encouraging each other to walk the righteous way. So inspiring.

You will find nothing but loving and caring folks here.

[Master Gordon]

Re: I had an erection in church

Brothers, I am ashamed at what happened to me last Sunday at Church. I've had a few days to think about it, and I'm ready to admit it and move on.

It was a particularly warm morning and listening to the soothing sound of the pastor's voice caused me to nod-off a little. That is when I noticed the erection, and it woke me straight up. I don't know if anyone noticed me un-tuck my shirt and spread it over my lap.

I'm an old man, at this point, and I'm always glad to have a sign that my plumbing is still working, but just not during church! I was so embarrassed that my tallywhacker wouldn't behave. It was an award winning boner, too. It lasted for at least ten minutes, and I was hoping that it would go away before the service ended.

I tried to take my mind off of it by removing some gum off of the back of the pew in front of me. It was gone by the time I was done rubbing it off.

How will I know if this is going to happen again? What should I do to prevent this?

Brother Nobar King never be ashamed to stand up for Jesus, your body is your temple and Holy Spirit resides within. Your post reminds me of one of my favourite hymns.

1. Stand up, stand up for Jesus,
ye soldiers of the cross;
lift high his royal banner,
it must not suffer loss.
From victory unto victory
his army shall he lead,
till every foe is vanquished,
and Christ is Lord indeed.

2. Stand up, stand up for Jesus,
the trumpet call obey;
forth to the mighty conflict,
in this his glorious day.
Ye that are brave now serve him
against unnumbered foes;
let courage rise with danger,
and strength to strength oppose.

3. Stand up, stand up for Jesus,
stand in his strength alone;
the arm of flesh will fail you,
ye dare not trust your own.
Put on the gospel armor,
each piece put on with prayer;
where duty calls or danger,
be never wanting there.

4. Stand up, stand up for Jesus,
the strife will not be long;
this day the noise of battle,
the next the victor's song.
To those who vanquish evil
a crown of life shall be;
they with the King of Glory
shall reign eternally.

[Saint Clem]

Re: I had an erection in church

Qute an inspiring hymn Master Gordon.

I also had an erection in a Baptist Church in Australia. The preacher was shouting the sacred text, "Being rooted and grounded in love."

Was it Abraham or someone else who "spilt his seed upon the ground"? I will seek to find this text in the KJV.

I'm not sure it is alright by the Lord for there to be spilt seed in the church but it might be.

[Saint Clem]

Re: I had an erection in church

I sought and it was found praise the LORD. I apologise that it was not Abraham that came on the ground, it was Onan. Please forgive me. Thank you.

Genesis 38:6f KJV: "And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, whose name was Tamar. And Er was wicked and the LORD slew him. And Judah said unto Onan, 'Go in unto thy brother's wife and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother... And it came to pass, that when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother."

[Master Gordon]

Re: I had an erection in church

Qute an inspiring hymn Master Gordon.

I also had an erection in a Baptist Church in Australia. The preacher was shouting the sacred text, "Being rooted and grounded in love."

Was it Abraham or someone else who "spilt his seed upon the ground"? I will seek to find this text in the KJV.

I'm not sure it is alright by the Lord for there to be spilt seed in the church but it might be.

The Earth is a Church for True Believers, so if it is good enough for Abraham to spill his seed upon the Earth then it is good enough for me.

[BornAgain]

Re: I had an erection in church

Secular scientists by their own admission tell us that "Dopamine is commonly associated with the reward system of the brain, providing feelings of enjoyment and reinforcement to motivate a person proactively to perform certain activities. Dopamine is released (particularly in areas such as the nucleus accumbens and prefrontal cortex) by rewarding experiences such as food, sex, drugs, and neutral stimuli that become associated with them." (Taken from Wiccapedia) - it's not a coincidence that all of these results are classified as sins by God in the Holy Bible (we are to be humble and realize our sinful nature, not have delusions of worthiness and grandeur) - I would recommend avoiding activities that encourage the release of dopamine - these activities can include exercise (or any secular activity that is proclaimed to be 'healthy'; as well as avoiding anyone who tries to tell you that you are naturally worthy and not in need of salvation for your sinful ways.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I had an erection in church

I sought and it was found praise the LORD. I apologise that it was not Abraham that came on the ground, it was Onan. Please forgive me. Thank you.

Genesis 38:6f KJV: "And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, whose name was Tamar. And Er was wicked and the LORD slew him. And Judah said unto Onan, 'Go in unto thy brother's wife and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother... And it came to pass, that when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother."

Your choice of name ("Saint" Clam), your chosen avatar (a man in a dress of some sort), and your woeful ignorance of the Bible (thinking that a Patriarch would commit the sin of --what's it called? Oh, yes. ONANISM) indicates to me that you are a Catholic.

So, why are you on a Christian church forum and pretending to be a Christian?

The Earth is a Church for True Believers, so if it is good enough for Abraham to spill his seed upon the Earth then it is good enough for me.

God-mocker, why don't you look up the context of the verse cited by Saint Clam and find out what happened to Onan?

[James Hutchins]

Re: I had an erection in church

I looked this thread and did not read it for some time. I too, often found myself powerfully aroused during Pastor Ezekiel's surging sermons. The glory that is God, the deep depth of His love. Every bit of me felt alive. I sat down and had a one on one session with the Good Pastor where we explored what was happening. After many hours of probing, we both came to grip with it. Firm efforts were made at the root of the problem and after feverishly working on it, the issue was resolved in spectacular fashion.
An erection is a sign of love. I love Jesus. When He is there for me, I am there for Him.

As a side note, it does explain some of the ladies fishy oder and slipperiness on the pews.

[Saint Clem]

Re: I had an erection in church

Your choice of name ("Saint" Clam), your chosen avatar (a man in a dress of some sort), and your woeful ignorance of the Bible (thinking that a Patriarch would commit the sin of --what's it called? Oh, yes. ONANISM) indicates to me that you are a Catholic.

So, why are you on a Christian church forum and pretending to be a Christian?

Good morning Reverend Rod, it is always good to fraternise with brothers of the Cloth, I hope your parishioners adore your "dress" as mine do mine.

I would be a Catholic, M-Rod, except that, beginning from when I was a very young lad, my father told me about Nuns chucking their babies into acid pits. Unpleasant behaviour Rodimer yeah?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I had an erection in church

You're dressed like a ring-kissing papist.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I had an erection in church

Baptists dress as men, we do not wear blouses and skirts, Papist.

You're dressed like a ring-kissing papist.

Calling himself a "Saint" is indicative of Papism too, Pastor Zeke!

[Saint Clem]

Re: I had an erection in church

You're dressed like a ring-kissing papist.

Yeah it's good innit.

Hey Ezekiel, what's it like laying between Lamentations and Daniel?

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: I had an erection in church

Brothers, I am ashamed at what happened to me last Sunday at Church. I've had a few days to think about it, and I'm ready to admit it and move on.

It was a particularly warm morning and listening to the soothing sound of the pastor's voice caused me to nod-off a little. That is when I noticed the erection, and it woke me straight up. I don't know if anyone noticed me un-tuck my shirt and spread it over my lap.

I'm an old man, at this point, and I'm always glad to have a sign that my plumbing is still working, but just not during church! I was so embarrassed that my tallywhacker wouldn't behave. It was an award winning boner, too. It lasted for at least ten minutes, and I was hoping that it would go away before the service ended.

I tried to take my mind off of it by removing some gum off of the back of the pew in front of me. It was gone by the time I was done rubbing it off.

How will I know if this is going to happen again? What should I do to prevent this?

Gee,

That is quite the conundrum, and a little confusing from my end, to be frank, Brother Nobar.

God does move in mysterious ways though and perhaps it was just a gentle " loins nudge" from The Lord HIMSELF so that you would not miss another minute of the wonderful sermon happening from the pulpit.

I appreciate that women are not usually allowed in here, but I did want to give a womans' perspective on it and to let you know, that I have heard no word of your "uprising and upstanding ways" until now.

YIC,

Mrs.P.Wintersnow

[Master Gordon]

Re: I had an erection in church

Your choice of name ("Saint" Clam), your chosen avatar (a man in a dress of some sort), and your woeful ignorance of the Bible (thinking that a Patriarch would commit the sin of --what's it called? Oh, yes. ONANISM) indicates to me that you are a Catholic.

So, why are you on a Christian church forum and pretending to be a Christian?



God-mocker, why don't you look up the context of the verse cited by Saint Clam and find out what happened to Onan?

Context is the argument that satan worshippers use to argue abhorant lies about the Lord. The Lords words stand on their own each and every word is the true word of the Lord.

[Brother Barnabus]

Re: I had an erection in church

Since Pastor Zeke delivers such wood inducing sermons, perhaps a mission to the amazon jungles will help save the rain forests?!