Women and Pain

[Old Man Hatchet]

While visiting the dentist for a cavity, my ten-year-old granddaughter received Novocaine. I am furious at my daughter and son-in-law for allowing this to happen and have every intention of suing the dentist. Women should never--EVER--be given any form of anesthesia. God wants women to suffer in all facets of their lives, particularly during childbirth.

Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire [shall be] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.



Each time my beloved wife gave birth, it was natural. No shots. Not even an aspirin. And I made sure to "multiply her sorrow" by kicking, slapping, and punching her through the whole thing. Furthermore, I pointed out how fat she had become during the pregnancy and called her weight-related names to ensure her pain was psychological as well.

Men, making women suffer is your God-given duty. When riding the subway, you should never relinquish your seat to a woman, especially if she is pregnant. If you see an old woman struggling with heavy groceries, add to her load. If a little girl skips by you, trip her.



So now we know women are supposed to live in misery. What about men?

Genesis 2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof.

This was basically the first operation, and Dr. God Almighty gave his male patient an aesthetic, which proves He wants men to be as comfortable as possible. So spoil yourselves rotten, fellas. Put your feet up. Avoid pain at all costs. It's what God wants.

[Mark Christ]

Re: Women and Pain

Amen!

My wife once complained about how uncomfortable her cot is. She is so ungrateful and believe me after her whipping she won't complaint again. She knows she can share my bed again when her womb heals from our last child. Of course, once my seed takes hold it's back to the cot. But hey, she only sleeps there 10 months of the year. What's to complain about?

[HTannor]

Re: Women and Pain

Amen!

My wife once complained about how uncomfortable her cot is. She is so ungrateful and believe me after her whipping she won't complaint again. She knows she can share my bed again when her womb heals from our last child. Of course, once my seed takes hold it's back to the cot. But hey, she only sleeps there 10 months of the year. What's to complain about?

Brother Christ, you might consider re-reading Brother Hatchet's post. He very clearly pointed out scripture telling us how God wants women treated.

I greatly fear coddling your wife with a cot is the start of the slippery slope to pampering her in other ways: like buying her a dishwasher or some sort of modern stove that uses electricity or gas.

Please think carefully before making her comfortable in other ways.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Women and Pain

Spas were created by Satan to contradict God's decree. The pictures below of women being pampered and massaged at these spas arouse and infuriate me.



Spas should not only be outlawed, but turned into work camps for women.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Women and Pain

I would never allow my wife Ethel into the bed with me. She sleeps on the floor, where I kick her awake every morning. When she is pregnant, in order to preserve the fetus, I divy out her daily allotment of pain, instead of beating her, by driving splinters under her fingernails. She pretends that it hurts much worse than it does, but I know that as a woman, her mind is dull and insensitive, so she does not feel pain as a man does. For that reason, I always do reflex tests when she falls unconscious.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Women and Pain

I was somewhat disappointed, when our 12th arrived, Mrs Bathfire flopped it out like a dead cod on to a fish merchant's slab - she didn't even stop talking. Where was the suffering?

[Mark Christ]

Re: Women and Pain

Brother Christ, you might consider re-reading Brother Hatchet's post. He very clearly pointed out scripture telling us how God wants women treated.

I greatly fear coddling your wife with a cot is the start of the slippery slope to pampering her in other ways: like buying her a dishwasher or some sort of modern stove that uses electricity or gas.

Please think carefully before making her comfortable in other ways.

In a moment of weakness I let her use my old army cot (one leg broken) when the basement started flooding.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Women, Pain, Rosemary, and Thyme

Irrefutable proof that God wants women to suffer: Women feel pain more than men, research shows.

Scientists investigating gender differences in pain have found that not only do women report more pain throughout the course of their lifetime, they also experience it in more bodily areas, more often and for longer duration when compared to men.

I found this part laughable:

There remains much discussion in the scientific community about why these gender differences in pain exist.

All of that discussion wouldn't be necessary if those retards would simply read this thread.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Women, Pain, Rosemary, and Thyme

Irrefutable proof that God wants women to suffer: Women feel pain more than men, research shows.

I wonder if they remembered to adjust their results for the fact that women also whine incessantly about their pain.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Women, Pain, Rosemary, and Thyme

I wonder if they remembered to adjust their results for the fact that women also whine incessantly about their pain.

God wired women differently from men to make their pain more acute and thus more satisfying for Him, but I believe you're right--if men felt pain on a comparable level they would be stoic about it, not blubbering babies. I guarantee that I could go through childbirth with no aesthetics without so much as a grunt or a wince.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Women and Pain

This is another great example of God's Justice, as women are more deserving of pain than men, since they are so predisposed to sin. Women have been getting men into trouble ever since the Garden of Eden. It is only right that they be forced to endure great hardships all throughout their ungrateful, remorseless lives.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Women and Pain

Its all the woman's fault, Eve ate from the tree, and God punished her.



Note: Adam was conned by Eve to eat from same said tree. Never trust a female!
Genesis 3*16

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

God then makes Adam and Eve leave the Garden of Eden

Genesis 3-23,24


Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.
So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.


God curses the woman with her unclean time. And then cons man into lying with her during said unclean time.


Leviticus 15:18


18The woman also with whom man shall lie with seed of copulation, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until the even.


The result both are required to enter the water to bathe.
Thanks to females we have yet to get rid the smell from the fish.

[Sapiens Rex]

Re: Women and Pain

This is some of the funniest stuff I have ever read. I just about pee'd myself.....

[HTannor]

Re: Women and Pain

Well, Homosapiens Rex, I'm just tickled giddy over how you find the Word of God™ something for your amusement.

Perhaps you should get your posterior to the Introduction Section and properly introduce yourselft before barging into any other discussions.

[The Disciple]

Re: Women and Pain

My "Crystal" once chopped off the end of her finger while cutting vegetables for my dinner, with all the moaning and groaning that went on I still to this day don't know if she felt any pain.

Even after I chopped of her thumb for ruining some of Gods fine food with all the abuse and tantrums I'm still not convinced she felt it.

She learned her lesson though and hasn't spoiled dinner since.