Pillow Talk?

[Faith_Machine]

As you know, I am as yet unmarried. I'm on Dr. Laura Schlesinger's mailing list, however, as I feel she has a lot of good advice for me to follow at all stages of the courtship and marriage process. Yes, yes, she's a sheeny who once posed for nude photographs, but she is a true family values conservative and I always appreciate her e-mails.

The one that arrived today really gave me food for thought:

"Was that as good for you as it was for me?"



Dear Faith,

Many spouses think that once they enter the bedroom, they can skip the "How are yous?" and just let their bodies do the talking. However, the key to being a smooth operator betwixt the sheets is to keep the lines of communication open, especially while in the act. I'll tell you why body language isn’t enough today, beginning at 11AM Pacific/1PM Central/2PM Eastern on SiriusXM Stars Channel 107.

Why do you think many spouses are afraid to be open and honest in the bedroom? Send me an email or go to Facebook.com/DrLaura to answer.

So what about it, gentlemen? What kinds of things do you say to your wives while you're betwixt the sheets? Personally I don't see quite what you would want to talk about, but perhaps there's something you can say to increase the odds of siring a son?

Does God find it disgusting if you pray or recite scripture from memory during the act?

[John North]

Re: Pillow Talk?

Does God find it disgusting if you pray or recite scripture from memory during the act?

I certainly hope not. I always recite Proverbs 17:28 during the act; normally 3-5 times. Sometimes I do it from memory; sometimes my wife insists holding the Bible for me.

Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Pillow Talk?

I certainly hope not. I always recite Proverbs 17:28 during the act; normally 3-5 times. Sometimes I do it from memory; sometimes my wife insists holding the Bible for me.

Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.

I should have known that saying was stolen from the Bible. Apparently by Abraham Lincoln, in 1931. Or something, I didn't read the whole thing.

The quotation that the questioner gave is phrased somewhat differently and is certainly more humorous. In the biblical version one is thought wise if one remains silent, but in the questioner’s version the word “wise” is not used. Remaining silent simply allows one to avoid the fate of being thought a fool. This saying is often attributed to Abraham Lincoln and sometimes to Samuel Johnson.


The wonderful Yale Book of Quotations (YBQ) investigated the saying and presents the earliest known attribution to Lincoln in Golden Book magazine in 1931. Since Lincoln died in 1865 this is a suspiciously late date.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Pillow Talk?

I usually praise Jesus during seeding.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Pillow Talk?

My pillow-talk consists entirely of telling Mrs Bathfire to stop snoring. I see this as "open and honest in the bedroom".

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Pillow Talk?

I've never found myself with my face in a pillow, so have never had need to talk to one.

What an odd thing to do!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Pillow Talk?

I've never found myself with my face in a pillow, so have never had need to talk to one.

What an odd thing to do!

Maybe you were biting it at the time?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Pillow Talk?

Just a reminder, it's not too late for all of you to join the conversation on Facebook and share your thoughts about what place, if any, "pillow talk" has in the marital bed.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Pillow Talk?

Maybe you were biting it at the time?

What part of "never had my face in a pillow" did you misunderstand, Zeke?

[Jedediah]

Re: Pillow Talk?

As long a wife knows her place, making her feel special, appreciated, or validated shouldn't be concern. You're honoring her enough by enabling her to achieve Salvation(tm) in accordance with God's Plan, as prescribed in I Timothy 2:15.

My wife and I usually have a short devotional prior to conceiving new children, and we both pray fervently during the coital process itself, so that our hearts are not filled with lust, but with the Love of Christ.

If anything, our "pillow talk" consists of reading Scripture out loud to each other.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Pillow Talk?

Mrs. Hutchins and I have no reason to speak during 'the act'.
In complete darkness, I enter the chamber from one door, my wife, Mrs. Hutchins enters from another door. I do my deed for God and leave Mrs. Hutchins wimpering quietly the Lords name "JesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesus".
Once every ten months, regular as clockwork.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Pillow Talk?

The Lord's name very often comes into the act - and should from both husband and wife in between big breaths - unless, of course, the wife has been asked to keep silent at all times as I was in the habit of asking the late Mrs. Lowman. God bless her soul!

Hebrews 13:4 tells us that marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled, but this says not a word about licentious "pillow talk" and gritty, grimy words that the worldly people use, which we are not allowed to even repeat (Ephesians 5:12).

And since mating is for procreation, it should be done with relatively little speaking or irreverent noises. The squeaking of a bed should be enough. And if the gun holster of the Mrs has come off, then you know you're getting too into it and need to finish up before you make the Lord angry by playing needless and non-procreative "bedroom games." Those are just blasphemy (see Genesis 38:3-10).